[A little bird tells me that Bandeka has an Accra mixer this Thursday. Surely there is no better time to share the post that I had asked Bandeka girl to write for me a lil while ago]
 
The men were shy (or couldn’t be bothered or acted too cool). However, they would quickly man up when I went to suggest that the women were alone in one corner of the bar… I had to keep doing this every 20-30min with different guys. The women were particularly appreciative when I’d come in, move a couple of them from their seats (discreetly talking to them about fixing the gender segregation) and take them to the guy’s section- by …

So it was my first year of university and I had developed a teenage tendency to crush hard and assume that every man I met was the one. I was young I was naïve but the one thing I wasn’t lacking in was confidence…. or time on my hands.
The target of my youthful affection was my Humanities lecturer. At the time 6 years older than me was a lot and he had the cockiness of a man who knew everything. I had to have him. He had a gorgeous smile, could wax lyrical about feminism and yes, ok his body shape hinted at the cuddly frame he would have in later years but what did …

It has long been a dream of mine to be fucked in Twi, my mother tongue.  To have the language I was scolded in as a child used on me in the bedroom until my body was defenseless against an imminent orgasm. The world of languages and lust first collided for me during a summer in Europe’s sin city: Amsterdam. I met David, an immigrant from Spain who sounded more Puerto Rican than Sevillian, window shopping in the Red Light District one afternoon. I was talking to the tattoo artist under the premise that I wanted to add to my body art collection when he derailed my query about Chinese characters to proposition me for …

Part of my book:  Ghanaians & Sexuality
Sub-title: A Ghanaian Christian cringes in the face of her sexual thoughts. To her, it’s equal to Fornication, and she’s too holy for that!
Myth –buster: God created sex. Understand it. Know why it was created it. Appreciate it. Just don’t abuse the beautiful thang!
 
This book is full of my experiences with anything related to sexuality, on several facets. MY EXPERIENCES. Just so you can secretly relate, but feel free to blame/quote me. I don’t mind.
Shut up. I know you’ve all had this debate with yourselves before.
 
Me. Queen of Ice.
 
You.
 
You … where do I start?
 
You beast. You Strong man of my dreams. You idiot. You, the only man I …

Maybe I’m reading too much into things but some of the responses in some of the articles on this website really struck me with the apparent deep convictions of those who engaged in premarital sex that what they did made them fall short in the eyes of god. The very words used to describe their experiences were quite instructive, particularly the word “impure.” I’ve long known this word to be linked to sexual interaction but it’s always sobering to see it still wielding the power it did all through the centuries. Sexual interaction, including intercourse, is by far a most wonderful way of expressing one’s love …

Maybe this is inspired by my being scandalised watching Uti prance around the Big Brother house in his boxer-briefs, on day 87 of the just-concluded Big Brother All Stars.  It got me thinking… not because I was turned on in anyway.  His legs are too skinny for me. With my own small thighs it would be like stick-fighting in bed.
Anyway, the point here is this: do you care how the package is wrapped? Or is it just enough that there is a package in the first place?  Men these days go on about how we African women get too comfortable in a relationship and ditch the sexy lingerie …

Vagina is for lovers
Yes, I said it! So what? You were thinking it…were you not? I guess this must be one of those topics where I think everybody is on board.
Here’s what I think. I’m a lesbian for a reason. Contrary to popular heterosexist belief, I was not molested by my father, brother or any other dominant male in my life. I am a lesbian because I love the softness of a woman, I crave a gentle touch and I can appreciate her with all her sexy curves.I prefer breast to chest and when I embrace the person I love, I prefer the feeling of a cushion rather than a steel wall. You feel me?
Vagina …

I am very interested to learn more about traditional methods of seduction. A friend from Benin shared with me some sex tips from her mother.
Mother: Put your husband’s head on your breast like this. Then rub his ears very gently like this. When he gets erect let him get on top. Wait until he is close to climax then you get on top. Afterwards there is nothing your husband won’t do for you.
According to my friend, periodically, her mum would try this method on her dad and for days afterwards daddy would follow mummy around the house, eager to do her bidding.