Good girls don’t have sex if they want to get married or have a relationship. I think Emz who commented on the previous post hit the nail on the head when she said, that’s “the African Woman’s Conundrum”. I think it’s even more of a conundrum because most women intellectually know that having sex does not equate badness yet through personal experience some women have had to make the decision that if what they want is a relationship or marriage then they cannot sleep with this attractive, good looking man even if he is the one they want the relationship/marriage with. In fact, especially if he is that man.
Recently I was having dinner with a …

A reader of this blog asked me ‘So, how did you get so confident?’. I guess what she really meant was, how did you become so bold in writing about sex? The fact is, I don’t think it’s confidence that has led to me writing about sexuality. I think my motivation is a continuation of my politics as a feminist. I think women have the RIGHT to have great sex and I think a lack of knowledge prevents a lot of us from having great sex.
There is also a lot of silence about sex (I have to point out that I am speaking from my personal standpoint). My sex education as a child was primarily …

I guess it is only fair after writing ‘Sex tips for men who sleep with women…’ that I follow it up with ‘Sex tips for women who sleep with men…’
In my previous post I said that the very way most of us have sex is more likely to result in pleasure for the male body rather than the female body. So, it stands to reason that if women want to have better sex then they need to take more control over the sex act(s). Ladies, I don’t know about you, but when I take control in bed I am always guaranteed a great time. After all, you know best what your body wants and needs. …

This blog has been inspired by Kwaku who wanted a few tips for men as ‘women are so complicated’. I always get baffled when men say women are complicated. Two almost contradictory thoughts tend to pop into my mind.
1. Women are really not that complicated.2. Actually it’s a good thing to be ‘complex’. Being ‘complex’ implies you are interesting, that there is more to you than meets the eye, that your thoughts are not just one dimensional but multi-dimensional, layered and multi-faceted…
So what would you rather be?
Hmmm, where do I start when it comes to giving sex tips to men who have sex with women? …

I hope you are intrigued by the name of our spanking new blog, ‘Adventures from the bedroom of African women’. I am too, even though I am a co-author for this blog.
So what is this blog about? This blog is simply about the diverse sexualities of African women. I have found myself becoming interestingly interested in women’s sexuality the older I have got. (I am all of 31 years old in case you are wondering) I am interested in knowing what brings women pleasure, how women negotiate pleasureable sex with their partners, why women put up with ‘bad sex’.
I have had conversations with friends who have ‘confessed’ to faking orgasms in order to be over …