Here’s the thing: polar hierarchies in sex don’t interest me. At all. I find nothing remotely desirable about being dominated or dominating someone else, mimicking rape or coercion, being hit or whipped. It’s not because I am boring, vanilla, or that I don’t get the politics of consent and why BDSM “isn’t violence”. (My) truth is, it mimics the violence around us and I am not convinced that by simply mirroring what we don’t like, we subvert it and take …
Tag: consent
I was 17 years old the first time I heard the word rape in relation to sexual violation. Before this, rape was the spinach-like vegetable that I ate as a child in Zambia – which I …
Women’s sexual pleasure is not a subject that is often talked about and there aren’t many safe spaces for women to gather and have honest insightful conversations about safe sex, consent and pleasure. The internet barrages …
I love sex. I love all kinds of sex. From the slow, full, thorough thrusts with deep, exploring tongues inside wet hungry mouths to the fast, furious, clothes shredding, back scratching, pounding, punishing strokes which leave …
Whether we’ve copulated, intertwined, fucked or quite colloquially rolled in the sack, no matter the number of times, the act and its frequency simply do not translate into an automatic go-ahead to whoever whenever they want… …
In June, I met this great artist who works with women and underprivileged kids. After we met he sent me an email asking if we could grab coffee. I said yes adding that I wanted to …
The subject of consent is one that I feel extremely passionate about. What is consent? And under what circumstances do we consent to sex? Can consent ever be taken for granted? Should consent always be vocalised, …
I agreed to meet him that day to say yes. Yes I’ll date him. I was tired of waiting for the right one or liking the ones who never reciprocated. So when we met, at a …
The key issues for me in adult consensual sex ad relationships have to do with confidence and communication. Sex is a lifelong experiment and an ironic one particularly if you are Sexing While Feminist. By the …
“Let me come over to your side and just rub on you until I come. I won’t enter you.” I was thinking: “fool you mussee lost yo mind cos you aint ever gon enter me if …