I have been thinking for some time that I would like to date a Nigerian man. The majority of Nigerian men I have come across are entrepreneurial, hard working and driven. What would be most ideal would be to date a Nigerian man living in Nigeria. He could fly over to Ghana on a Friday night to visit me, we could chill the whole weekend and then he could fly back on Sunday. This would give me the best of both worlds. I could be single on weekdays and “coupled” on weekends.
I shared this thought with a Nigerian friend who was quick to point out that if I was to date a Nigerian man there would be cultural differences which could cause problems in the relationship. He was speaking from personal experience as a Nigerian man who has dated Ghanaian women but is now with a Nigerian woman.
I don’t know if I buy this argument about cultural differences. As far as I am concerned there are always cultural differences. I define culture simply as “a way of life” and once you have not had my experiences then you will always be culturally different from me.
What are your thoughts? Should you aim to only date people who are culturally similar? Is a Ghanaian and Nigerian couple a good combination? Are you a Ghanaian dating a Nigeria? A Nigerian dating a Ghanaian?
P.S: I am a Ghanaian blogger. This post is my contribution for our universal posting day
18 comments On A view out of Ghana: Neighbour Nigeria
I personally don't think they is anything wrong if a nigerian dates a ghanian. I have a couple of guy friends that date outside their country and they are still going strong..
naija and ghana
naija and sierre leone
naija and cameroon
naija and ivory coast
Interesting… I'm not sure that I have too much of value to add to this. First of all, I'm in the US. lol Secondly, my Ghanaian heritage always comes into question when I encounter someone who was born and raised in Ghana (or any other part of Africa) because I've never been and because I don't speak Twi (although I want to do both). Thirdly, I've never dated someone from Ghana, but that is by circumstance and not by choice.
With all those disclaimers, I have "talked to" Nigerian men before (all of them were born and raised there). There are cultural differences, but I also see a lot of similarities. And it's also nice to know about other people's culture. Either way, I don't believe that Nigerian and Ghanaian cultures are so drastically different that it could never work out. I actually feel that I have more in common with Nigerians than the Francophone countries that actually share borders with us. But that might also be because of language and religious differences.
Anyway, the point is I wouldn't mind dating a Nigerian man. I wouldn't mind dating a Ghanaian man. As long as the man respects me and treats me well, I think it's okay.
I am a Ghanaian dating a Nigerian. There are some issues with language and a couple of other things like prostrating that I have trouble with BUT I would have the same issue if I was dating someone from the Northern part of Ghana. Being Nigerian (Yoruba) has nothing to do with it. If an Ewe man dates a Ga woman, the same issues will come up.
Personally, I think dating someone who is culturally similar is boring. I like having some diversity and if it's Ewe-Ewe, I feel I will be missing out. I haven't dated a Ghanaian in 10 years. It's not because Ghanaian women are not awesome. It's because, for me, I need that spice, that "difference". Call it flavor if you want but give me cultural-dating-diversity or give me death (or a woman with a nice a**).
these unwritten codes of 'prohibition' just spoil the party!
but i love to party! so i will date from Antigua to 'Zion'! from Banjul to Yaounde, from Cape Town to somewhere starting with a name starting capital X. from Djibouti to Wales, from Ethiopia to Vietnam, the Vatican even, from France to Uzbekistan, Uganda, from Ghana to Trinidad and Tobago, from Honolulu to Senegal, from Iraq to Rwanda (omg, i love this one!), from Japan to Qatar, from Laos to Papua New Guinea, from Malta to Oman, and last but not least, i would end up in NIGERIA!
come with me now!
The world is one little Village so date from your village. Nuff said! Nice blog by the way.
Holla
We are all equal before the Lord arent we, so I see no wrong in cross pollination.
Its not that there is anything wrong..but the fact is sometimes it can be extremely challenging.
Relationships are hard enough ( the whole two different people, so to add cultural differences to the long list of "issues" to deal with can be overwhelming.
I believe it is easy to date from another culture when you live in a neutral space e.g. Europe, USA, Dubai.
But when you are a Ghanaian (or any other nationality) dating e.g. A Nigerian and you live in Ghana or you live in Nigeria.. the pressures can be overwhelming.
I personally have never dated a non-Ghanaian. It has just always happened. I have friends who have also never dated a Ghanaian, so sometimes just a matter of what you gravitate towards.
I am West African and the thing I can tell you is this, you don't have to get out of any of our countries to experience "cultural shock". I think you should focus more on finding someone you like than where they come from. But I understand your point about part time dating and that would be a plus and I don't think you should let that hinder you from finding the "right now, right one".
Good Luck
@BSNC – Thanks for sharing your personal statistics. It's always good to hear of couples who make it work despite the odds
@Lovelylind – Yep, yep, yep…I agree with your bottom line. It's all about love and respect.
@Anon- your comment made me smile…cultural diversity or a nice a***:) I am a big fan of diversity
@ Novisi – You are a true "globe trotter"
@The Invisible Man – Thanks, I don't think I have met anyone from my village that I am not related to…
@Pen Powder – Yay to cross-pollination, especially when the plants are so darn attractive
@Brown Angel – Hmm, as for the challenges of relationships that's a whole other post. Thanks for your insights
@Lolita V – True, true!!! Internal Cultural Shock exists. Thanks for your advice
This is so interesting because I never really thought there were major cultural differences between people in different West African countries, which totally makes sense. My eyes have been opened!
With that said, I am a black American married to a Ghanaian man….and there are sooooo many cultural differences. Not just food, or clothes, or language….but a lot related to the way that we think and see the world. Sometimes, its frustrating…but it has taught me to keep an open mind and explore our differences vs. assuming that I'm always right. Lol.
I don't think the cultural differences are that huge..
Not enough to make a relationship impossible anyways
Interesting……
I am Ghanaian, but I do not choose my men based on colour or race, but based on their relationship with God. I was in a relationship with a Nigerian man for almost 6 years and to make it even harder it was long distance most of the time. I have also been in a relationship with a Carribbean guy. The last guy is Ghanaian and from my tribe. As to the cultural differences, to be honest we as the individuals in the relationship decide what to deal with but family and other people try to make you see a difference sometimes that really isn’t there. Some families insist on same tribe. When most people you meet from your own tribe are practically related to you in some way. (had an encounter where met someone somewhere I was interested in and then found out there my direct cousin) LOL sad. What is the definition of culture anyway? Each individual, family, and groupings of a people defines their own culture. If you’re someone like me who hasn’t really grown up in one particular country your culture is a mixture of alot of life experiences. That being said I met many different guys who happened to share my views on what I consider my own personal culture from all sorts of diverse nationalities. So who knows what country my next guy might be from.
@Anon – Oh Yes! There are sooo many differences…even when you are from the same country or even the same tribe
@Roc Naija – I agree that the differences do not make the relationship impossible…it is just another level of challenge
@GG – Hahaha, laughing at the fact that you met someone who you fancied but are related to him…I do have a fear of that happenning one day
Igbos I have heard, are the more ambitious ones. They have 200 and something tribes you know.Just to narrow the search.LOL
im currently dating a nigerian man and i love him and he is talking about marriage but we are both young, hes 24 and im 21. in our relationship we dont see a problem, well sometimes with the language but he tries to teach me his and vice versa. we are trying to make the relationship work. but other influences such as family and friends always want to point out differences dat are not that major to us. but hmm i pray to God to keep this moving. So to your blog, go for it, just make sure he is good to you x
and good luck with it x
Well there’s nothing wrong with dating someone outside your country so long there’s love
cross cultural sex is the most intense sex you’ll ever have