When you’re married to a sex blogger

A few months ago, Nana blogged about the ramifications and complications of dating a sexuality blogger. What do you share; what do you not share; should the person at the time be worried you’re going to expose every encounter? Nowhere are these complications more worrisome than when the blogger is entrenched in the institution of marriage.


 The constant questioning of what you did with whom when, is exhausting. The worst part is the constant comparing between my former partners and him. It’s part of the reason I blog so sparingly. I know, I know. I shouldn’t let the haters stop me. But then my husband threw me a bone. He told me I should blog about the most thrilling sexual encounter he and I had shared. Personally, I’d rather not talk about my married sex life, but with his blessing, I will share this:

 My husband and I once had sex for seven hours. Obviously, this was before we had children, since our love making currently lasts an efficient 20 minutes or so. Our seven hour stint was the week after we got married, and the only CD I had in the player was Gypsy Kings. To this day I can’t listen to Volarie without feeling a little dirty.

 Getting into the details of a seven hour sex binge in written form would be exhaustive, so let me just say there was a lot of touching, a lot of groping, and even more penetration. Obviously I’m not comfortable sharing the finer details concerning the manner of sex that I have with my husband and it’s none of your business anyway. 🙂

 I do want to add one last thing, however. Nana and I have been criticized recently, having been told that there was “not much African about our blog, save the names of our guest contributors”. So here are some things that made my seven hour sexual encounter with hubby more “African”.

 I said/moaned/cried the following:







 Hopes this makes the critics happy and restores our integrity.

4 comments On When you’re married to a sex blogger

  • LOL.. great one Ab..

    Well the thing is African women don’t discuss sex much in group or in communities due to the reasons we have all repeated here ad nauseum.

    So in my humble opinion this entire blog is “information about the sexuality of African women:”. It doesn’t always have to be academic, or serious or clinical. It can just be women sharing stories and experiences…salacious or not.!

    Kudos to you ladies ( Nana and Abena)!

    Where else would I find African women discussing Douching, female condoms and how important oral sex is to us? Its all part of it… and I thank you for providing a forum for us to pass our comments and even to realize that we aren’t alone wrt our concerns, fantasies and ideas of good sex and even how we construct our sexuality.

  • No prob BrownAangel!

    Anything we can do to help the species. 🙂 I must say that the best part of the blog (for me at least) is all the commentary from the readers. They say real life is stranger than fiction, and some of the stories y’all share SURE is strange! Lol! I love it.

    Thanks for the support. We’ll keep writing: booty licking, farts and all.

  • Yeah I second Brown Angel. I suspect that whoever made that claim thinks of African sex/sexuality as very plain/black & white/vanilla; thus the notion that the very ‘colorful’ views/experiences shared here are un-African (or Western, if you will)…

  • Leave them be! If they are looking for African technical and academic write ups on sex and sexuality, tell em to google it baby! This is a great forum…I’m maaaad I just discovered it now! Great job ladies!

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