Blow job, fellatio, head, or whatever else you choose to call it, why do African women hardly talk about it? Growing up, the reactions from my fellow African women in regards to giving blow jobs ran the gamut from “Eww! Good girls don’t do that” to “I’ve been thinking about trying that but I don’t really know what to do.” Now since I haven’t conducted any kind of extensive research on the subject, I’ll just have to assume that African women are doing it somewhere, even if we’re not talking about it. So, purely from my point of view, here’s a little something for those who live in the “I’ve been thinking about that but I don’t really really know what to do” camp.
Firstly, don’t attempt to give a blow job half-heartedly. If you don’t want to do it, then just don’t. Secondly, moisture is always a good thing. Ladies, just as a wet finger feels better on the clitoris, the wetter the penis the better. Now, you have an erect penis in your hands; don’t be afraid to tease a little. Kiss the head, run your nails (gently) up and down the shaft. Once you decide to take the penis into your mouth, make sure it remains nice and wet. Don’t attempt to “deep-throat” straight away (or at all). Try to keep your teeth covered with your lips. The hands can be used as an extension to the mouth as you suck up and down the shaft. Enjoy the feel of his skin in your mouth. Once you get more comfortable, you can also rotate the hands in opposite directions in a gentle “twisting” motion whilst pumping the shaft as you run your tongue over and around the head. The area where the head of the penis meets the shaft (frenulum) is very sensitive and as you progress, you can concentrate more and more on that area. Try to vary from a simple “up and down” motion. Twist your head, approach the penis from different angles, vary your speed, use your teeth to (GENTLY!) graze the head of the penis- whatever comes to mind. If your mouth becomes tired, try not to interrupt the rhythm and use your hands more instead. Don’t ignore the balls either. Again, you can run your fingers up and down them. You can take them into your mouth and suck gently, either one at a time, or together. As the man gets nearer and nearer to climaxing, focus more and more on the head of the penis. Suck harder while running your tongue around the frenulum. You can work your tongue into the hole in his penis. If you don’t want the man to come in your mouth, now would be the time to concentrate on making him come with just your hands. However, if you don’t mind him coming in your mouth, you can gently press down at the base of his penis in a “milking” motion as he comes. Don’t stop sucking as he comes as this will help to intensify the feeling of climax. What you do with the ejaculate, swallow or spit, is entirely up to you.
I refuse to see the giving of a blow job as a subservient act. You hold the man’s pleasure in your hands (literally). It’s a powerful position to be in. Don’t be afraid to abuse it! (Joking! Kind of….)
18 comments On Guest Contributor Ms S on: Giving and Enjoying Blow Jobs
@Ms S – Good Girls do that! Do I qualify as a good girl? Probably not 🙂 On a more serious note, great post, well written and sooo many useful tips.
Great description and detail information. Keeping the teeth out cant be said enough because it really, really hurts. Another thing is swallowing, I understand if you dont want to, but its more of a turn on if you do. Just like us going down on girls and dont spit anything out, we do relish in seeing a girl swallow. However, if a guy isnt willing to kiss you after giving head, then he loses all priveledges. For the guys, eat a lot of pineaple to improve the taste and make it easier for the girls. Plus, its healthy for you.
Ms S… these are tips I need in my life! Chale this just answers questions that are hard to ask. I’m no fellatio expert, in fact i’m new to the scene. But I so get the power angle!
@Nana – I’ve always wondered how guys feel about spit vrs. swallow. Is it a big thing do you think? Pineapple huh? Is that honestly true because I might need to invest and get cooking!
Take this from someone who owns a willie. Pretend you’ve been hungry for days. And my willie is food. When u’re eating it, act hungry. Act like u can’t get enough. And if i’m your guy, it’ll blow my mind. No, really. Cross my heart. hehe.
Errr, nana. about the swallowing thing, i’m the kind of guy who doesn’t mind if a girl doesn’t swallow. As long as she does the whole thing with enthusiasm, as long as i get off, i don’t mind if she spits it out.
@Nsoromma I’ve definitely heard that what a man eats affects the taste of his semen and for some strange reason pineapple is always the fruit mentioned. Why can’t any other fruit get some love? Lol
@Nsoromma
Guys are always happy getting head regardless but yes, its more of a turn on when you swallow. This is especially true with open minded guys because they will also be the ones willing to kiss you after the deed.
Pineapple or most fruits do “manifest” themselves in your semen so stay away from asparagus before the deed.
@maameous lol
and there I though Nsoromma’s initial comment had been directed at me 🙂 I think I need to use Nana Darkoa from now on.I do have some thoughts though: I know for sure guys prefer when you swallow…I recently did some basic internet research on the net about the possibility of catching HIV from oral sex and the results totally scared me. Initially I thought the chances were very low but the recent research indicates that the chances of catching HIV from giving head/going down is very high. Now I am totally sold on using a condom when having sex but somehow I ignored the advice about giving a blow job with a condom. Has anyone giving a blow job through a condom or used a dam when going down on a woman?
Informative; I guess that’s all I can say!! lol
All i can say is thanks for making available the working dorcument for our lovely ladies… And now we know the era of bruises is over… lol
@Nana (Darkoa) The whole “safe sex” aspect of giving a blow job is also something that concerns me. However, I have given one with a condom before and let’s just say that I was highly unimpressed. Latex does NOT taste good. It also takes away the pleasure of feeling the man’s skin. I don’t really have solution to this problem apart from sticking to my philosophy of knowing who you sleep with. It’s not just anybody who deserves a blow job! Lol
@Nana, did a cursory search on the STD risks associated with head and I’m pretty surprised myself. I really thought that was fail-safe.
@Ms. S….Thank you! I hope your tutorials put an end to the half-hearted attempts I’ve witnessed of “bad girls” trying to pleasure me. And its hard to fake that ish. I’ve had to lie that I wasn’t really a head person in past relationships ‘cos my exs’ sucked at it.
@Scorpisan—It feels good to hear a man say he the smell turns him on. I guess nature desined everything perfectly then. I knew there was a reason for that unique smell. Lol.
oooh m glad i found this blog!!
I just started giving my man head a few months ago and wow if only I had found this blog it would have saved me a lot of time trying to research good ways to do it! This is very helpfull, and descriptive.
I also figured out that kissing around his hot spot (hip, a little bellow is belly button, and upper thighs) helps out alot and made me seem like I new how to turn him on just a little. I have yet to let him “come” in my mouth though is it really that big of a turn on for guys? And if so, why?
@Ms S: Just had to say that this mundane cynic found the conclusion on power unconvincing, but am willing to go with the flow with any women who want to exert power in that way. 😉
hmmm….the thought of giving a blow job especially in the early stages of a relationship can be pretty daunting but then watching your man experience it whiles doing it is really satisfying. I for one go with the motto “if u do me i do u”, cos some men dont want to go “downtown” but yet expect their women to blow them senseless. whats up with that? what happened to equal opportunities? lol. i love the control and power i feel when i have this massive hard dick that i can work on from any angle and do a good job at it too lol. And who said good girls don’t do it? Bet they would love their pussies to be eaten though, lol. sexuality must be embraced but we must be wise about it….yep…know whose cum u are thinking of swallowing before u do. I dont swallow just for the mere fact that i tried to swallow once and it burned my mouth…am probably allergic to it, lol, had i known about pineapples i would have gotten him to eat some prior to the act. all the same the act itself between 2 people who connect and gel is a beautiful thing. I love exploring a man’s body and vice versa. hmmm…..i could go on and on and on……
ok the part about HIV scared me a bit i guess it only reinforces the fact that u haf to be very careful the partner u romp in the sack with but serioulsly ah a little thing such as a blowjob could have dire effects hmmm..
i pride myself on been a good blowjobER…n i haf realised the best way to enjoy whichever form of intimacy is to let yourself go and wholeheartedly prepare and enjoy it. i do love a whiff of smell to spice things up and i may suggest some flavour to help out sometimes, a great way to eat right off it.i loved it especially when he would get calls and i would encourage him to talk as he struggled between utters of words and subtle moaning. i do love bjing knowing im giving my partner pleasure topping it with swallowing the cum ( although my first boyfriend’s was always bitter heck could have been paracetamol syrup) its all a good labour of love so gals do give your men the good heads!