Good-bye, Vibrator Virginity

A couple of months ago, you may recall that Nana and I went on a search for new “accoutrements” while she was here in Atlanta. It was during that time that both she and the accoutrements seller loudly admonished me for having never used a vibrator. Jeez! Was it that big a deal?

Apparently it was.

Let me start by saying:

Oh. My. Gawd!



Like any first time sexual experience (with a person or a thing), it starts off a little weird because of the unfamiliarity. The circumstances surrounding my vibrator use probably could have had something to do with my discomfort as well. The kids had been screaming all day, the house was a wreck, and I could not calm my nerves with a drink because I’m still nursing. I needed an escape! So as soon as my husband hit the door, I gave him a kiss, handed him the baby, and went upstairs to unearth some KY and the contra banded vibrator…and batteries! I had to come back downstairs to look for batteries under the pretense that they were for the upstairs remote.

Since I was a novice, the first thing I did was a vaginal introduction. Now that I think back, that was SUCH a teenage boy move. Now warm up or nothing. Just “Hey! Here’s this hard thing, now put it between your legs.” After laying there for a minute or so with this buzzing green thing betwixt my thighs, I quickly got bored. What was the big deal?? I changed speeds, and there was no change. This was wack. Suddenly, I heard Nana’s voice come to me, like Master Yoda using the Force.

Clitoral stimulation, the Force said.

Oh. That felt nice.
Okay now wait a minute.
Ohhh!!! What the f—!!!

As I moaned out loud and let out an “Oh shit!” I suddenly heard my husband’s footfall on the stairs. Dammit!

“Babe?” he asked through the locked door. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah! I’m fine!” Irritated and scared, I hoped out of bed, through my pants back on, hid the vibrator and opened the door. I tried to look innocent and like I had not been cheating on him. You see, my husband like a lot of men, is intimidated by the very presence of a vibrator. They feel replaceable. I wish more men understood that like any mechanical device, and vibrator just does what you could do on your own more efficiently. Like a fan or an electric stove.

“Come downstairs and see what the baby is doing,” he said excited. “He loves his walker.”

I was about to have the climax of my life and you interrupted me to come see a baby in a walker???

I dutifully went downstairs and feigned excitement.

“Oh how cute!”

All the while, my mind was fixed on the green Pleasure Monster that waited for me back upstairs. It kept calling to me…like crack.

Patience my pet. We’ll be together soon enough again!

15 comments On Good-bye, Vibrator Virginity

  • Ooh, I liked this. Am I a perv or what?

  • Hello multiple orgasms!
    I bet you a new pack of batteries that your man won’t feel as intimidated as you think when he meets your new pet.

  • Haha! Poor you. You should have invited your husband to join you.

  • Naughty girl. This is the stop what u are doing and all of a sudden do what u are stopping experience…lol

  • hahahaah…too funny girl but Oh am I glad that I was able to connect with you in your moment of need.

    Hmm, that vibrator we bought is actually not all that, I was a bit dissapointed with it… You need to get yourself a Rabbit, then you will know what the big deal is all about

    Wishing you plenty of happy times

  • Lol! I await tales of your next encounter! *note to self: Must get vibrator…*

  • Like Nana said, the rabbit is truly extraordinary. It’s like comparing a Lamborghini to a Ford Focus.

  • This is what I call Anti-Climax!

  • Just happened to chance on this blog, “I love it”. Keep up the good work Nana. On the topic: I love nothing more than to look at a lady’s face when she hits the O, by herself. So far, the rabbit and bullet seem to be the instrument with best delivery ( my business side taking over – please contact me if you are interesting in ordering any (privacy guaranteed) lol). A little note from..uhm..a friend…”using a vibrator whilst watching yourself in the mirror can do wonders”
    Abena, I hope you do get to finish. and try getting the hubby involved, I know I enjoy being there to help..

  • loved this abena! my boyfriend was so glad to meet my little friend – less work for him and a more ‘satisfactory’ experience for us both 🙂 sure, seeing you in the paroxysmal throes of your toy-induced orgasm might be a little intimidating:

    – “why can’t i make you come like that?”
    – “cuz none of your appendages vibrates thousands of times a second” –

    but he just needs to see it as friend (or fiend, i’m sure you’ll agree), and not as foe. besides, seeing you get off might be quite the turn-on for him 🙂

    … which reminds me, i need to get new batteries…

  • so these rabbits that everyone is talking abt.
    in case i want one for a pet
    where to get it?

  • @maameous: give me a shout and place your order. Feel free to state your preferences on Size, speed,color etc.

  • oh too bad, this is pre ejaculation if its allowed to say that for a woman. oh mine; am all excited about this dildo and vibrators. i love pampering myself and i am curious to use one. for a moment when i read your story, i thought the same way, perhaps there is no big deal. but i see this girls in porn scream their heads off. i don’t think you could get some to buy here, hey its about time we had stores that we can get them from. at least wives can comfort themselves when their husbands are away. or you could use it before he enters you. i believe there are many use of it when you know how to use it.

  • I totally loved this post! I was simply cracking up at the ‘what the fuck’ discovery lol. Anyway, I’m new to this blog and I’m already hooked. I will keep this short coz I have to go back and finish reading a couple more of the posts 🙂 PS: I would love to hear from the famous Anthony aka Antonio aka Antoine from the ‘eating pussy’ guest contribution… ML

  • @ All: Hmmm. I have yet to convince my hubby that a vibrator can be a friend and not a foe. Imagine the work the pair of them could do if they simply tag teamed! I’d be the happiest woman on this side of the globe. I like the idea of looking in the mirror too…is that the freak in me??
    @Maameous: I’ll join you in the search for this elusive rabbit everyone keeps raving about. But abeg, don’t get confused and go to Nungua in search of a furry four footed friend. That type of rabbit is for other types of sexual activity.

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