Sexual Lessons: A Tag Post with Boakyewaa Glover (

A few weeks ago i became ‘re-acquainted’ with my cousin Boakyewaa Glover when i bumped into her at a bar in Accra. She invited me to the launch of her book ‘Circles’ (which I’m totally engrossed in at the moment), and coincidentally we were both invited to a radio station the day after her book launched to speak on why so many ‘accomplished’ women are single. We followed up by meeting later for a drink and since we’re fans of each others writing decided to do a tag post. Check out for her version of Sexual Lessons and see below for my side of the tale:

From one ex (ex is a term i am using loosely in this post and includes hook ups, lovers, friends with benefits – in short anyone you have had a sexual experience with) I learnt that sucking on a man’s nipples could be a huge turn on (for him). From another I learnt that it is possible to cum, and cum, and cum again (even when you feel like you can’t cum anymore) through continuous cunninglus. Then of course there was the one whom I actually managed to have two vaginal orgasms in the course of one night (a vaginal orgasm in my books is rare and a big deal, even though I know it shouldn’t).

Of course there are some exes who are not so memorable, but this post is not about those types of exes. This post is about those exes who taught you a thing or two where sex is concerned. Those exes that you think about from time to time and wish you could go back in time to (if only for the great sex). Those exes that sometimes you fantasise about when you are having sex with your current partner.

When it comes to sex we all learn something or the other from our ex (exes). This post is a compilation of lessons my friends and I have learnt from our ex.

In response to the question:

What sexual tips/techniques/lessons have you taken from an ex? A sexual trick for e.g. that you have learnt?

I got the following answers… (I have indicated whether responses were from women or men)

Man – ‘Okay, here goes nothing. This isn’t from one person, its more several exes over the years. When doing it doggy style, I found one didn’t want me to do the pounding, just wanted me to stay still so she moved back and forth. Apparently, she could then control the angle and pace and therefore the cum was more intense. Here’s one I never could get my head around. If I were a blowjob kind of guy, I would have married her. Her biggest turn on was my reaction when she was giving me a blowjob. That apparently turned her on more than anything else we did in bed. Weird! There was this Nigerian chick loved all positions but only came when she was on her side with one leg up and I came at her from an angle.
One trick I find works all the time is to simultaneously tweak both nipples as you go down on your partner. I only go down on women I’m in a committed relationship with so even though I say it’s always worked, we’re talking about 5 women in total’.

Woman – ‘I have learned to tell my partner what exactly I want. I have learned how to do doggie style in a loving way, not a demeaning way. I have learned that sometimes it’s not all about me in bed. I have learned to love my body, for all it’s rumples and bumps. I have learned my limits in terms of casual sex vs. making love

Woman – ‘ Lol my lovers have taught me nothing! It’s my friends that have revolutionised my life!’

Man – ‘We called it the bowling ball. Imagine how three fingers hold a bowling ball?? Well two fingers in her pussy (the first finger after the thumb and the middle finger) then the thumb in her ass. The trick was to rub these fingers together while inside the two different openings.’

Woman – ‘Decided I haven’t learnt anything by way of tricks/techniques
and I don’t mean that in a cocky way. It’s been more of me discovering what i like/don’t like in the process of being with someone else. Plus my sex life is slow (to put it mildly).

Woman – ‘ I taught them everything they know!!!’

Now I know my polling sample is tiny but isn’t it striking that most of the women haven’t discovered/learnt anything new? If anything women appear to have learnt more about themselves. What are your thoughts?

P.S: Do check out for some truly amazing writing

15 comments On Sexual Lessons: A Tag Post with Boakyewaa Glover (

  • Char the 1st Man has examples papa! lololol
    This doggy style bit, I hear that alot, but I think its best if its haf-half? Shouldnt he move a little? It’s like when you’re riding a guy, i think its even better if he’s helping you and moving. I dont want a guy to just lie there and take it 🙂

  • I’m in stiches from the thought of the “bowlilng ball”. Just when I thought i’d heard it all. Of course, like the guy that i am, i had to put my fingers and thumb together and rub whilst imagining. I’d like to try it (if she’ll let me) but i don’t want brownie fingers. Ewww!!!!!

    p.s. i want to meet the woman who taught them everything they know.

  • I am still finding myself sexually, however I do know one thing for sure…dirty talking definitely gets me hot and heavy!

  • Hey is there a blog on Vaginal Orgasms/faking orgasns? If there isn’t is it possible to blog on it? I can count the number of times I have had a vaginal orgasm and I wonder if other women experience this same problem of not cumming vaginally? It really bothers me…

  • @Boakyewaa – Ehhh? That one was new to me. Hmmm, maybe i need to do some practical research of my own 🙂

    @Man 1 – Sorry, no hook ups via Adventures allowed 🙂

    @Flirty – Hmmm, i think there is something interesting about dirty talking – it seems to me like the ability to talk dirty and still be sexy (and respectful) is a whole skill on its own. Do you fancy writing a guest post for me on the subject?

    @Bobbie – I have written about vaginal orgasms/faking orgasms as part of general sex related subjects I’ve covered although i don’t think i have covered it as an explicit subject. Or have I? There’s a search function on the home page of this site…try searching through and see what comes up. I shall also bear the subject in mind as a topic to blog on in the near future….oh BTW 70% of women do not have vaginal orgasms so you are very normal. I think i have had 4 in my whole life

  • Okay, Im about to display my ignorance, I know, but what’s a vaginal orgasm? How many types of orgasms are there? And are some types better than others, harder to reach, etc? Clueless 🙂

  • Thanks for responding… that was helpful. I am yet to find anything on faking orgasms. I guess I won’t worry as much as I cum through mostly clitoral stimulation… the G spot I am yet to find… I think I found it yesterday but I am not entirely sure… I just know though yesterday I was able to have a vaginal orgasm by myself just using my fingers and I didn’t even touch my clitoris…

  • Big lesson I get from this is how unique we all seem to be.

    BTW, what is demeaning doggie?

  • …Having loads of gd time here…
    Alright, try this, guys: a lil scoop of ya best icecream flavour on ur gurl’s clit, then lick, then lick n continue to lick…that gurl is gonna go bonkers n u gonna b lickn forever…

  • @Bobbie – It sounds like you found the magic spot baby 🙂

    @Kofi – Lol! I am not the person who made the comment but my understanding is that some women find ‘doggy style’ to be a derogratory position to be in. Why? I guess there could be any number of reasons so i’ll ask anyone who feels this way to please put a comment explaining why

    @Louisa – Thanks for the tip!

  • This is cracking me up and i have got a million things to say but I’ll keep it short.
    -reference to the woman riding and the man putting in work, i have found it to be quite effective. If the guy can find the woman’s rhythm and pump from the bottom it can be quite pleasurable.
    – Bobbie try attempting interchanging orgasms, i.e. between the clitoral and the vaginal, could be a blast.
    – i also always find that one can’t let a woman get used to a form of stimulation, as soon as she starts getting comfortable change it up even if its only the pace. Keeping her on her toes can curl her toes.

  • last night my partner blew my mind with this: vibrator on my clit, one finger inside me, another finger on (not in) my a-hole… let’s just say i came like it was my party, lol!

  • @Anon – Oh don’t be a spoil sport. This is an educational post 🙂 Do share the million tips you have…I have a question, how do you interchange orgasms? Please say more, I find the vaginal orgasm so evasive so intrigued that you can interchange…

    @Sappho – Lol at coming like its your party. Happy partying!

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