A few weeks ago i became ‘re-acquainted’ with my cousin Boakyewaa Glover when i bumped into her at a bar in Accra. She invited me to the launch of her book ‘Circles’ (which I’m totally engrossed in at the moment), and coincidentally we were both invited to a radio station the day after her book launched to speak on why so many ‘accomplished’ women are single. We followed up by meeting later for a drink and since we’re fans of each others writing decided to do a tag post. Check out www.boakyewaaglover.com for her version of Sexual Lessons and see below for my side of the tale:
From one ex (ex is a term i am using loosely in this post and includes hook ups, lovers, friends with benefits – in short anyone you have had a sexual experience with) I learnt that sucking on a man’s nipples could be a huge turn on (for him). From another I learnt that it is possible to cum, and cum, and cum again (even when you feel like you can’t cum anymore) through continuous cunninglus. Then of course there was the one whom I actually managed to have two vaginal orgasms in the course of one night (a vaginal orgasm in my books is rare and a big deal, even though I know it shouldn’t).
Of course there are some exes who are not so memorable, but this post is not about those types of exes. This post is about those exes who taught you a thing or two where sex is concerned. Those exes that you think about from time to time and wish you could go back in time to (if only for the great sex). Those exes that sometimes you fantasise about when you are having sex with your current partner.
When it comes to sex we all learn something or the other from our ex (exes). This post is a compilation of lessons my friends and I have learnt from our ex.
In response to the question:
‘What sexual tips/techniques/lessons have you taken from an ex? A sexual trick for e.g. that you have learnt?
I got the following answers… (I have indicated whether responses were from women or men)
Man – ‘Okay, here goes nothing. This isn’t from one person, its more several exes over the years. When doing it doggy style, I found one didn’t want me to do the pounding, just wanted me to stay still so she moved back and forth. Apparently, she could then control the angle and pace and therefore the cum was more intense. Here’s one I never could get my head around. If I were a blowjob kind of guy, I would have married her. Her biggest turn on was my reaction when she was giving me a blowjob. That apparently turned her on more than anything else we did in bed. Weird! There was this Nigerian chick loved all positions but only came when she was on her side with one leg up and I came at her from an angle.
One trick I find works all the time is to simultaneously tweak both nipples as you go down on your partner. I only go down on women I’m in a committed relationship with so even though I say it’s always worked, we’re talking about 5 women in total’.
Woman – ‘I have learned to tell my partner what exactly I want. I have learned how to do doggie style in a loving way, not a demeaning way. I have learned that sometimes it’s not all about me in bed. I have learned to love my body, for all it’s rumples and bumps. I have learned my limits in terms of casual sex vs. making love
Woman – ‘ Lol my lovers have taught me nothing! It’s my friends that have revolutionised my life!’
Man – ‘We called it the bowling ball. Imagine how three fingers hold a bowling ball?? Well two fingers in her pussy (the first finger after the thumb and the middle finger) then the thumb in her ass. The trick was to rub these fingers together while inside the two different openings.’
Woman – ‘Decided I haven’t learnt anything by way of tricks/techniques
and I don’t mean that in a cocky way. It’s been more of me discovering what i like/don’t like in the process of being with someone else. Plus my sex life is slow (to put it mildly).
Woman – ‘ I taught them everything they know!!!’
Now I know my polling sample is tiny but isn’t it striking that most of the women haven’t discovered/learnt anything new? If anything women appear to have learnt more about themselves. What are your thoughts?
P.S: Do check out www.boakyewaaglover.com for some truly amazing writing