Advice Our Reader Ms H: To Cheat, Leave or …

I really need your advice. I’ve been seeing this guy for 6months now, he’s cute, nice , caring, and very generous. The main problem is the sex is so crappy, sometimes I end up crying. We have foreplay and as soon as his penis goes in he
goes flaccid within 2mins. This happens all the time. Even when he manages to stay hard he never comes. In the 6 months I have been with him he has never come. I’m confused as I believe I will cheat on him really soon but I really like him.

Please help me.


9 comments On Advice Our Reader Ms H: To Cheat, Leave or …

  • maybe you need to play a few games , or get into his head more ….. seems like he has someone or something on his mind or it could be he is just not used to using a condom ??? too many reasons but don’t cheat.

  • Have you tried to make sure the fore play make you satisfied? Or is it a must for you to have penetration.

    You can have sex w/o penetration.

  • I as a man have that problem only when i use a condom. I don’t know why it has just always been that why. I love sex and i love foreplay, but no matter how turned on i am as soon as that gos on he goes down.. Talk about frustrating. The only other time i have had this problem is if it is really hot or a am really stressed or worried.. Have you talked to him about it.. How does he react to it? Does he go down on you to make you cum?

  • Oh H, I wish you’d told me before you told the whole world. I promise to make it up to you. 🙂

  • He never goes down on me which led to me refusing to give him a blow job cos I believe in tit for tat. I’m used to receiving oral from exes so this is a bit new to me. I have spolen to him about it and he keeps saying he’ll try harder but to no avail. The sex is so bad I have began to refuse having it with him because I hate the disappointment. I have actually decided to call it off cos I’m really frustrated

  • hmmm, i think when people cheat or shall i say when women cheat it really means that they want out of their current relationship and for some reason cannot find the will to leave the relationship. Cheating then becomes a way out. If you have really tried ‘fixing’ this situation and its not going anyway then walk away…i’m assuming there are no other major ties holding you together (children, joint property, etc)

  • If the relationship is not working for you its always best to get out as Nana put it because cheating is never the right option. Women are smart at cheating but can come with the price of tarnishing your reputation when it all goes wrong. You always have to be in a relationship that has the right balance of inmate sex and drama. Life is short hanging onto uneventful sex just brings problems.

    From a professional point of view I would say this is a clear case of psychogenic erectile dysfunction caused by a complete lack of interest in having sex with you. You are not the problem, so there is no need trying to cheat to find out. Your sense of sense of sexual satisfaction comes from you seeing a guy cum.

    His brain is not producing the right hormonal levels and balance to sustain an erection. The dick becomes erect through a hydraulic effect. His hormones have to increase his heart rate to pump enough blood to his dick to keep it up and bring him to an orgasm during sex.

    It seems he is in a state of indifference and conflicting emotions. There is probably something he is not telling you or an event that has happened in past life prior to meeting you. A case of this is when a man is in love with someone else and cannot tell you or he has had a past traumatic experience eg impregnating someone in the past.
    Another thing is when the woman lies in bed during sex and does nothing what I call the boneless chicken and expect the man to do everything, this can also make sex uneventful and boring hence the lack of emotional excitement. A guy can cum from seeing the woman enjoy “his sex” that is why some women have perfected the art of faking it.

    An effective test method is to put on a good porno he has never seen before when he is around with you not being in the room 15-20 mins before you start having sex, see if he has a hard on when you come back into the room, you leave the porno running in a comfortable line of sight for him during sex and see if he cums. He will be able to make himself cum by masturbating the problem is he does not cum when he is with you, some men can control when they want to cum by controlling their testosterone levels by their sense of excitement. This kind of psychogenic erectile dysfunction is often brought on by an event based problem solved by therapy and communication.

    I would like to ask ANYONE wishing to post their problems for public solutions and help on adventuresfrom to please present a complete clear picture of the underlining problem you are facing and as much background detail as possible.
    This would lead to a better public understanding of the scenario at hand and prevent the public guessing and mentally filling in the gags of the way they perceive your problem. To simply put – a clear picture of the problem would lead to clear advice a solution into solving your problems.

  • You barely know this man!! You seriously expect to have good sex with him? What a joke. Please do not deceive yourself. You have very little business expecting “GOOD SEX” from a man U hardly know. The better acquainted and connected you are to a man, the better sex becomes. Darling 6 months….you should be knowing this guy not f****** him……sorry to burst yo bubble…others here can tell U different….i am telling u the truth. Do U even jnow his middle name?

  • Maybe he is taking some drug to help him sustain erection. You may try to rub and squeeze his balls (gently) to help him cum

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