Mind Blowing Orgasms, Half-Cums and a Regular Old Orgasm

I spent a lot of time last week thinking about orgasms. Specifically I found myself thinking, ‘what does it take to have a “mind blowing orgasm”.

I love that phrase, “mind blowing orgasm”. It reminds me of a dear friend who one described sex between herself and a boyfriend as ‘mind blowing’. My mind was blown at that description. Wow! Sex could be mind-blowing? I guess I wasn’t having mind-blowing sex at that time…

So the question that I decided to ask one of my close friends last week was…’What conditions needs to be in place for you to have a mind-blowing orgasm?’ And her response was:

  • Talking dirty/spanking/porn
  • Sufficiently aroused (lubricated)
  • No pressure like I have to validate someone else’s efforts
  • No overstimulation
  • No discomfort
  • Combined clit/vaginal stimulation
  • No pain (nails, teeth, etc) >>>>focus, knowing when…
  • No frustration

It feels to me like there are different types of orgasms. There are the:

  • Every day run of the mill orgasms – you know the type you get when you twiddle the right knobs? It’s almost an automatic response by your body, you come but there is still a feeling of ‘I’m not quite satisfied’, just below the surface
  • Half cums – now those are truly painful. You’re building up to a great orgasm and somehow you only half cum.  How frustrating is that?
  • Then there is the holy grail of orgasms. ‘Mind blowing orgasms’. You feel the orgasm originate in your toes and spasm all through your body. It’s the best feeling in the world.

Now think about the time(s) you’ve experienced a mind-blowing orgasm?

What factors led to that experience? What do you need to be in place to experience a mind-blowing orgasm?

17 comments On Mind Blowing Orgasms, Half-Cums and a Regular Old Orgasm

  • where to start! the female orgasm is such an interesting creature – by turns elusive, demure, wanton, primal… sneaky little bitch that one. i masturbate almost every day and so i guess you could say that i have my routine down pat: vibe on my clit, gradually increasing speed, and a finger (or two) inside me when i’m close. works like a charm, and i consistently have what i suppose would qualify as mind-blowing orgasms: toe-curling, weird sounds, clutching of sheets/pillows, cursing, etc. i didn’t always cum this way; once upon a time i’d rub a little or could grind my pelvis against a pillow or warm thigh and within minutes would climax in a few decorous whimpers. i guess you could say my orgasms have evolved but u know what they say about growing up – both a blessing and a curse. i feel like i’ve conditioned myself to cum a certain way and so now oral sex etc (even though it feels good), can no longer quite get me there. how do you not hurt someone’s feelings or not make them wonder if they are lacking in skill when you pull out a vibrator after many many minutes of them giving you head?

  • I will be reading particularly posts from ladies on how they reached excellent climax. I will need all the education.

  • I had to have a mind-blowing organism before I realised that what I had been experiencing for most part of my sexually active years were just ‘nice tries’.
    I cannot cum through penetrative sex unfortunately, and I’m still working on that. For me, clitoral stimulation plus and finger in works like magic.
    And to have the mind-blowing type, I need to be selfish; tune out to him and tune in to myself and just let it go. Sometimes, when receiving oral, I’ve been known to kick out really hard and grind my crotch into his face too hard. Poor him.
    I’m able to make myself come through masturbation with a vib plus porn quicker than when receiving oral from him

  • @Sappho – Love your comment and your descriptor of the female orgasm! That could be an entire blog post on its own…in answer to your perhaps rhetorical questions, I think it comes down to that old chestnut, ‘communication’. If your partner knows that you are only cum/are more likely to have a mind blowing orgasm when there’s a vibe involved then that’s just what they’ve got to do…maybe vary it up with different vibes or also explore new things which may just get you going…like hours of foreplay with no direct stimulation.

    @roots4life – 🙂

    @Dede – Lol! ‘nice tries’ cracked me up. I do think the majority of women (i believe the statistic is something like 70%) do not come from penetrative sex so WE are in good company 🙂

  • Once had a girl at the UNI who loved to be given a total body stimulation with fingers, tongue and lips. Taught me that the skin is the most advanced erogenous part of a woman. Best of all she loved me drawing letter ‘O’s on her tummy. She claimed it woke up every one of her hidden senses. And seriously her wetness after I was done was stupendous. Do others have same feelings in the same body part? Can we call it a ‘skin-gasm’ or ‘tummygasm;’?

  • For me a mind blowing orgasm encompasses me whole.

    Unfortunately, I can get easily distracted during sex (i.e. takes to long to get the condom on, you take to long to get it in at the right angle, too long in one position…etc) almost guaranteed to dry me out.

    HOWEVER, if a man is able to keep all my senses stimulated…we are on to a winner! By this I mean, speak to me, be dirty, be sexy…not too much though (don’t you just hate men who talk too damn much!), gauge my mood for the dirty talk as well some days certain things will just make you feel dirty in a bad way (blame it on the hormones). I get off on knowing my man is fully enjoying himself so I need to hear it and see it…that is guaranteed to make me react. And if a man is interested in your entire body and is prepared to explore it fully, for me, that is more likely to get me closer to the mind blowing orgasm. It allows me to lose total control.

    @roots4life – I’m in agreement with that girl! The skin can be a very powerful tool during sex.

  • @roots4life – I do like all over body touch and sometimes (okay very often) get bored when people head to the obvious erotic zones (clit and boobs). I just tried drawing the letter ‘O’ on my belly and it did nothing for me but who knows what might happen if the right person did it to me at the right time? Thanks for sharing an important element of good sex – all over touch

    @Nana Yaw Sarpong – Thanks so much

    @Nsoromma – Long time sister. Its good to have you commenting again. Dryness during sex is a bummer and I agree with you that its almost an automatic reaction to getting bored. I sometimes find myself getting bored too especially if sex becomes all about the guy. It so distresses me and sometimes even I who should know better does not deal with unsatisfactory sex the way I would like to. However the other party is very unlikely to get a second chance to dissapoint me though…

  • @Nana D: “However the other party is very unlikely to get a second chance to dissapoint me though…”

    Sounds to me like a recipe for a revolving door attitude to love-making, and it’s not just the guy’s fault. There has to be room for dealing with unsatisfactory sex in a more positive way. Unsatisfactory sex happens before the fucking begins and lasts after it’s ended. That is my guess. I’m sure I’m wrong, though.

  • @Kofi – You’re totally right and I take my comment back. Seriously! You’ve reminded me of this guy I used to see. The first time we had sex, correction, tried to have sex he couldn’t get an erection. I was so embarassed (for him) that when he asked me out for dinner the following night I said yes (cos I thought, oh no, I don’t want him going around feeling bad) and the second night was a repeat of the first. The third time he managed to retain a semi-hard on but after that sex got really amazing…so I take your point. However, I’m beginning to be less patient as I get older especially when the sex is bad in my opinion only because I don’t orgasm. So when sex ends because he has cum then I don’t feel very forgiving. And really sometimes you don’t want to have to tell people what should be very obvious. So then its easier to just end it. Hmmm, thats a long comment 🙂

  • Great anecdote, ND.

    But speaking as a guy, I have to tell you that I often don’t know whether a woman has come. I have to be told most of the time. Of coure there have been one or two times when even someone as thick as I am can see that there is something going on, but the majority of these things seem to happen without much fanfare. Don’t know what I’m saying beyond the obvious need for education and communication, neither of which happens in a day.

  • @Kofi – Hehehehe, I laughed when I read your comment but I can see how the confusion will arise. And come to think about it maybe he assumed I came or was somehow satisfied. Sigh. Anyway ‘How to know when a woman orgasms’ will clearly be a great topic to blog on and I’ll put it on my ‘To Do’ list for this weekend

  • Mind-Blowing Orgasms (?MBOs): it is the unpredictability and mind-altering pleasure combo that keep me going for more! MBOs remind me of cooking a meal for the nth time. Even though you can cook that meal blindfolded, on those special occasions, the mix of ingredients is just right. You didn’t measure anything, but your calculus is on point and the taste (feeling) is just ridiculous! I know I’ve had an MBO when — just like when I’ve had a mind-blowing meal — I take quick, but deep breaths and the remnants of that pleasure are expressed through loud groans followed by deep sleep!

  • Dear ND,

    I totally get Kofi’s point. Without trying to be selfish, as a male, I sometimes don’t know whether my lady is satisfied or not. (Mostly I get it when she smiles at me, that is supposed to be a good thing :-))

    Then, it would be totally wrong taste to ask “so, did you come?” or the cliche “was it as good for you as it was for me?”, it sounds like I require that a sexual partner would always have to come, screaming and roaring like a wild beast (which would be ridiculous).

    I am a complete fan of communication, but bluntly asking is in this case not an option. Would indeed be a great blog topic, thanks.

  • following on Vic’s point… I really like knowing when a woman has reached a point of satiation. Brownie points, everyone gets to sleep well, and good feeling carries over to other things. Ladies, don’t be shy, tell the guy, gal that the earth moved for ya…

  • @ Vic and Kofi – Blog written on the subject today. Thanks for the inspiration Kofi

  • @Multicurious – I’n curious, does your name imply anything about your sexuality. I found myself trying to figure out your gender when I read your comment

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