Guest Contributor Golda Addo: “Stupid Man of my Heart”

Part of my book:  Ghanaians & Sexuality

Sub-title: A Ghanaian Christian cringes in the face of her sexual thoughts. To her, it’s equal to Fornication, and she’s too holy for that!

Myth –buster: God created sex. Understand it. Know why it was created it. Appreciate it. Just don’t abuse the beautiful thang!

This book is full of my experiences with anything related to sexuality, on several facets. MY EXPERIENCES. Just so you can secretly relate, but feel free to blame/quote me. I don’t mind.

Shut up. I know you’ve all had this debate with yourselves before.

Me. Queen of Ice.

You.

You … where do I start?

You beast. You Strong man of my dreams. You idiot. You, the only man I want. Stupid man … still a boy. Blind and cocky like an uncircumcised cockerel. Strutting around among the chickens, not seeing what a hen I am, all on heat for your domination.

Even when I leave the door slightly open, you pull it shut, and call it courtesy. Did I tell you I wanted your courtesy, dumbarse?

Ah, I writhe with this love I bear for you. It burdens me. Lays heavy on my chest like some bleeding wet blanket, and it’s so cold … I don’t need this.

Me, Queen of Ice. Now a puddle of water at your feet.

Breathe, man … I swear I’ll topple over.

Oh, I don’t mind falling at your feet, if you’ll pick me up. I ain’t that heavy, I promise.

Just … just, hold me a little longer. HOLD ME A LITTLE LONGER! Are you deaf? Please … please …

Can’t you see, all this strength is now nothing in the face of you?

Am I not cute? Is my waist not inviting enough? Can’t you see how fit my thighs are? How toned, my legs and abs? The curve of my cheek, just quivering for your warm hand … or are you not this man? Say something … do something.

My insults? It’s just to show you rub off on me. You get under my skin, man. I know no other way to express this deep thing in my heart. It lies right by my heart; curled up forever … it won’t go away. It has your name on it. I swear I’ll burn it … or, have you changed your mind?

Ha ha haha hahahaha!! LORD!!! Take this cup away from meeeeeee … uuuu, tempt me not, Lorrrrd!

Breathe, breathe, breathe … yes. The sky is blue, your life is full, there ARE other men, and God loves you. Other men …. Yes … but I don’t feel this furnace in my stomach, when I think about them. Not like I do when I think of you.

Stupid. Dumb. Wonderful. Strong.Man.Of. Mine.

My hand is on my chest, scrawling your name across my breasts … it’s the closest I’ll ever come to you.

I can’t breathe right. It lodges under my ribs and stabs. Everything about you hurts.

A fool would tell me, ‘he can’t be good for you’. A fool would know by now … you aren’t good for me. A fool would have forgotten about you long before now.

That fool used to be me … then got stupid.

Me. Useless Queen of Ice … hopeless in love with strong man of my dreams … never to be … because we just aren’t the right combination? Because you still love another who left you. Because I’ve got a little too much baggage? Because I’ll never really know what the bloody reason is ….

Because you never had loving like I could have given you. Shut up your cliché mouth, woman.

Because you’ll just keep taking … and I’ll just keep giving.

Because you use, and I accuse. And we’re both too busy reading in between the lines, to take the moment and run with it.

My hand on my chest, unscrawling your name offa my breasts … it’s the closest I ever came to hurting myself all over again.

… I would have run with you … idiot.

Whoever is in control of the Supreme powers of this universe – because I respect Religion, not just Christianity – made man and woman, and gave one a vagina, and the other a penis.

In each vassal, he lodged an ova and a spern … something no-one has been able to clone ever, yet.

These 2 tiny things are the only source of pro-creation, in turn, the only source of the continuation of the Cycle of Life.

If you’re too much of a religious person to think about, learn about, know, understand, and appreciate the beauty and essence of sex and all its romantic, physical, and violent variations – positive and negative-  … you’ll have started off, never having taken off at all.

Man has the tendency to corrupt everything he takes dominance over … including the very cradle of life. Sex.