Everybody I ever slept with…

Until 2 months before my 23rd birthday I had never had sex. Despite all the rumours that had floated around me in Form 3 when my bosoms had suddenly blossomed, or the time that my boyfriend broke up with me in Form 5 because another guy told him that he had fucked me doggy style in a gutter by my house (go figure). I wasn’t completely ‘innocent’ by any means. In my all girls boarding school I had kissed girls, fingered girls, and I recall one particular time spent in a fungi infected bathroom with this girl (who shall remain nameless in case she is now the Choir Mistress at her church) swinging from the bathroom rail trying to make contact with A’s pussy. But a technical virgin I had remained, and all my action with guys started in form 4 when I kissed 3 guys during the summer holidays. The first kiss was disgusting. He had clearly gone to brush his teeth with Pepsodent in anticipation of making a move…

There were a few things that had kept me from doing the horizontal tango with guys. Mainly the kokonsa (gossip). It really annoyed me that guys (read boys) would go out and tell the world that they had done x, y, z with you when it fact they hadn’t even got to first base. I knew they gossiped about me, they fantasised about my big boobs, but I was determined not to give them a real

reason to gossip about me.

I ended up in a 5 year partnership with the first guy I slept with . Oh and we got to 2nd base on the first night (oral), and all the way on the 3rd base. So for all those women trying to stick to Steve Harvey’s ‘Think like a Man. Act like a Lady’, for the record I think its rubbish. You can hook up with a guy on day 1 and stay married to him forever (or a woman for that matter), or you can hook up with him after 90 days and the relationship will still go down the toilet within a week.

Anyway the beautiful 5 year partnership came to an end partly because I never had the chance to sow my wild oats (those self same oats that young men are encouraged to sow), and I began to wonder, “What will it be like to sleep with someone else?” “Is this the only guy I’m ever going to fuck?”…and so that beautiful (okay not all bits where beautiful but allow me to reminisce with rose tinted glasses) partnership had to come to an end, and that’s where my list of “Everyone  I have slept with (at least those I can remember)” comes to a start…

We shall start first with:

F – Nigerian, arrogant in that wonderful way only Naija men can be, entrepreneurial, the kind of guy a girl would be almost willing to commit a guy for. Sex in the beginning was great but in the latter days I felt it became all about him. We’re still friends to this day, and he still fantasises that he can ‘hit it’, the cheek…

F is the one I remember most clearly but I think he was followed by:

C – the Cuban, salsa dancing, big dick wielding, pussy eating loving man…

N  – Carribean, entrepreneurial (can you tell I have a weakness for entrepreneurial men?), we only hooked up once but there is always a little frisson whenever we email each other…

A – I really got to like A. The first 3 times we had sex it sucked big time. He could barely maintain an erection, but eventually he was the only guy to give me 2 vaginal orgasms in one night – but of course he had to spoil it only by fucking another woman, which was outside the terms of our agreement

And then there was (in no particular order because it becomes impossible to keep up) W, M, M, M (yes I have a thing for the M’s), R, Y, P, N, F, K, loads of condoms, lubricants, and sex toys.

So yeah. Stay safe guys and girls, get tested…but before I go, how many people have you slept with. I know the last time my girlfriend and I tried to count I got to 16, and kept remembering some random people days afterwards. So lets say 20. What’s your number?

25 comments On Everybody I ever slept with…

  • My number is 6, but I’m only 23 so it may grow, or not. Only time will tell. I was quite the early bloomer so most of them were before 20.

  • I clearly have a long way to go, I’m 23 and my number is 2.


  • Swinging from the railings? Really?

    “Until 2 months before my 23rd birthday I had never had sex.” False statement! You’d had different kinds of sex, maybe not penetrative intercourse…. No one believed Bill Clinton, either, re “I never had sexual relations with that woman…”

  • @Jules – and like they say, its about quality rather than quantity right 🙂

    @cosmicyoruba – Not necessarily 🙂 I guess we all have different journeys.

    @Kofi A – Chale, really o. Hahahahahah. You really are too smart for your own good. True, that was a false statement. Shows that I still think of penetrative sex as ‘real sex’ which of course is patently false 🙂 Gosh, I have to revise my numbers then…in fact let me give up on counting right now.

  • Funny….am 28 and i think i hv hit 16. Really dont wish to increase it. It is thus difficult to leave this guy for another i think will make me happy

    • @Taniel – I hear you, and I think that ‘fear of increasing numbers’ keeps a lot of women with someone that they should have let go of a long time ago. But deep down you know you deserve better, so go on and do what will make you happy 🙂

  • LoL Love Love Love your article!
    @ 28 I tried to make a comprehensive list of past lovers and made the careless mistake of letting my new lover find the partially completed list.

    Needless to say the experience traumatised me, and if anything, blocked my remaining memorys

    At the time of my ignominious exposure my number was 12 (which was 11 too much for my ‘man’ lol)

    I think my number is closer to 20 though because I keep having crazy flashbacks of faces, bodies, absolutely filthy words in my ears plus those holiday flings….. Oh God! like those middle east elections I think it’s time for a re count lol xxx

  • what’s the point of counting? reminds me of that tootsie pop commercial where the owl is asked how many licks to get to the center. he licks it twice and then bites the lollipop.

  • I wonder why it’s okay to have sex a hundred times with one partner, but “wrong” to have sex once with a hundred different partners. Just asking. Imagine that the dreaded spectre of HIV and STD’s weren’t hanging over our shoulders, would that make a difference?

  • @ Kofi

    In Africa, we are taught that is whoretastic, fucking more than one man who is not your husband, that is where the difference comes in. Men, can have 1,000 women without any societal repercussions! Our reputation is at stake.

  • @ Ewura Abena – Medaase. I feel you. I wouldn’t want to have a conversation about my ‘numbers’ with a boyfriend, but of course he could always come here and guestimate…the cons of blogging about sex 🙂 Hmmm, I think a holiday fling article sounds delicious. Wanna share?

    @Joe – Ha! I haven’t seen that commercial, but I can visualise it and love the concept. I think its a very different scenario for men and women though. In my opinion guys only keep count as a sort of ‘notch on their bedpost’/props kinda thing. Women keep count (and worry about increasing the number of men they have slept with) ‘cos society judges us on the number of men (or/and women) we have slept with. The messages we consistently get (apart from rare forums like this one) is that you should ‘save’ yourself for that one special man. I think there are some men nowadays who say ‘bollocks’ to that, and don’t care how many men you have slept with…as long as its less than their number. You get me?

    @Kofi A – Just imagine! But I guess we will still have chlamydia, herpes and genital warts (and all their cousins, nieces, and nephews) to worry about…I like your 100 x 1 versus 1 x 100 metaphor though 🙂

  • *peeps in* great post ND!

  • I’m 19 & my number is 26. But I’m not a whore ????I just fell in love & started having sex too early ????

  • @ND thank you for the invite sis, I might just do that.
    So many stories bubbling in me lol
    Please look out for my first attempt shortly

  • I think that we’ve been sleeping with the same people Nana, those characters sound quite familiar. lol.

  • @sheroxlox – Get back in here Ams 🙂

    @Megan – Lol! You made me laugh. I wouldn’t call any woman a whore, but what’s up with all the ??? Are you questioning yourself?

    @Ewura Abena – I’ll be watching out…

    @MsAfropolitan – And F, C and N are all based in London so who knows? C’est possible

  • just discovered this blog today…and i am cracking up on some of the post…really interesting..and to the article well on my last count it was 19 and i will be turning 29 in 4 days time…

  • At 31 my number stands at 2. I guess u can say am consevative.

  • I am 34 and I am on # 30… In a long term relationship now so I don’t know if my numbers would be getting any better. I like a woman who is honest about her past… most girls I have met underestimate their bed notches by at least a third and most guys embellish their numbers by at least a third.

  • I’m 28 and gone through 9 in 7 years… actually thought it was more though, but I can’t seem to recollect who I’ve left out. Lol. I’m honestly hoping I don’t have to add to this number… fingers crossed! I lost my virginity at 21.

  • Am 20 and am on#16 hope my numbers don’t increase and I lost my virginity at 18

  • I’m 25 current count is 74. Lost my virginity 3weeks before my 14th birthday. @Babyjet true bout the statistical rigging.

  • I have done more than 15 n those r the ones i can remember….bt those who really sacked i aint counting. This is a span of only two yrs am 25

  • sex is pleasure – enjoy it! like everything, you don’t want it taking over your life and messing other things up (work, friendships, etc.). personally, i see the idea of “saving oneself” for that special someone as a bit ridiculous. what i mean is: would you rather a brain surgeon “save herself” for that special “patient” out there to do her first operation? experience is important. knowing what you like is important. i’d find it odd to be with someone who, in effect, does not know her body (masturbation will only take you so far – believe me i’ve tested the distance. ha). an experienced lover is worth 72 virgins, my jihadi. this obsession with numbers also strikes me as another hang-up, as if we need another. if someone has been with 100 partners, that’s something to think about personally – it suggests some anxiety about getting close to anyone in any but a physical way. you might consider that sex with emotional intimacy is much more satisfying than just physcial sex. but, again, who am i or anyone else to judge you for that? it’s not like you did this by yourself, after all. and there’s some pluses – you’re probably quite a charmer, somewhat attractive and, with all that experience, a decent lover. look on the bright side.

  • Plus my husband? 6. God, how boring huh?

Leave a reply:

Your email address will not be published.