How to eat dick: The Badass

Ooh, mama. Pass the Courvoisier.

First of all, congratulations, you lucky human.

Take all you’ve learned from the first two ‘How tos’ and push it to the nth degree, which is probably how the Badass likes it. And with this much power comes great responsibility. Now, you’re gonna have to find the male G-spot or the P-spot. Playtime is over.

The G-spot or P-spot is his prostate gland which could be accessed via rubbing on his perineum as we discussed earlier. You could also go for a more direct route and stimulate him through his anus. You heard me. What? All this while he’s been chopping you like meat and you think you were just going to get off easy?

Seeing as you’ve got a Badass on your hands, there is the possibility that another woman got in there before you, but don’t let that kill your enjoyment. If your man has had this done before, chances are that he enjoyed it immensely so what does it matter that someone else did it to him (or freaky-deaky that he is, he did it it to himself)?

Obviously make sure that he is relaxed and ready. Do what you have to do. Just because he is up for it doesn’t mean you should ride roughshod over his feelings – and his dick. Unless he likes this, of course. Make sure his anus is well lubed up before you go in. A water based lubricant is best, no Vaseline or scented lotions. It’s up to the both of you if he has an enema or anal douche beforehand, but I would definitely recommend it. An enema of course does not have to be clinical, you can turn into into a fun thing for the both of you but if the idea makes you queasy, he can do this himself.

Likewise, nails. Make sure yours are short.. You don’t want your man in pain each time he needs to use the toilet. You also don’t want him open to infection. You can use gloves for this bit as well. Rubber gloves should be fine and they will not spoil your pleasure if you incorporate it into the seduction routine (naughty nurse? Personally does nothing for me. I don’t get it, but this isn’t about me or you. It’s about him). However if you choose not to, make sure your hands are scrubbed clean before and after, taking care to wash under whatever is left of your nails and around your cuticles. Sexy!

When you’re ready, with his dick still in your mouth, slowly and gently work your lubed up finger(s) into his bum. Start with one if this is his first time. Wait for it to relax before you add other fingers, if you must but usually the index finger alone is fine. Using the pad of this finger slide it gently forward until you feel a fleshy bump. If in doubt, your man will be able to tell you this based on whether he feels good or not. He might also feel slightly like he has to use the restroom which is a sure sign that you have reached his G-spot.

Gently rub on this spot as you suck on him. If the sensations prove too much and he doesn’t want to come as yet, he might ask you to stop one or the other. However if he’s up for both, you might want to stand back when he does orgasm because it can be quite intense.

You’ve come this far, no need to stop now! Try other things you like. Experiment and combine moves. A personal favourite? Lube up your cleavage and let his go to town, licking and sucking on the shaft as it bursts out under your chin. It saves your jaw getting tired and is excellent for those days when all you want to do it lie on your back!

Enjoy!