Miss me?

You haven’t told me that you miss me

The fact that I haven’t told you that I miss you, doesn’t mean I don’t miss you

So why don’t you tell me?

What’s the point of me telling you that I miss you?

In my head I am thinking, “You’re not mine to miss. You’re somebody else’s man. Why should I tell you I miss you?”

I’ve known him for years. We’ve never been more than casual acquaintances. Sometimes he commented on how good I looked. Other times I warned him off my little sister. He was overly flirtatious with her, and I didn’t like it. I knew they amped up their performances for me, that it was mostly a façade, play attraction, but a day after he and I kissed I asked him if he had ever kissed my little sister. No he responded, there was never anything between the two of us. Phew. But I shouldn’t have been too quick to exhale…

I’m not really into kissing

Why not?

I don’t know. It feels more intimate than fucking

Kissing feels more intimate than fucking?

Yes to me it does

After dinner we sat in his car chatting. I can’t remember what we chatted about but I think we chatted about my blog. He had never read it so I went online to show him what the site looked like. Is that you? He asked whilst pointing to a silhouette of the dark skinned nude beauty on the top right hand side of the page. No I laughed. My nudes are better.

He wants me to miss him

He wants me to tell him that I miss him

He doesn’t want us to fuck too soon

He wants to get to know me better

He wants us to feel comfortable around each other

He wants us to be able to bask in our nakedness and chat after we’ve had sex…whenever that will be

He wants to be able to attend my next birthday party

He wants us to stay friends…no matter what happens

I think he wants a heck of a lot

I see through him

He wants me to become attached to him

He wants me to love him. Yes. Love. He knows I haven’t been in love since 2010. He’s already asked me how many times I’ve been in love. He knows I hold a little bit of myself apart from my lovers. He knows that’s how I keep my emotions intact.

He hopes I won’t get tired of him too soon, that I won’t dog him. Because I’m likely to do that…when I think of how little time he has for me. When I think that we will always have to be discreet. When I think that if anybody finds out about us that I will be the one to bear the blame. After all am I not the single woman who has led the man astray? Am I not the single woman who should have searched for her own man? Am I not the single woman who did not think of the betrayal of her fellow sister?

18 comments On Miss me?

  • Another good read, Nana. I enjoy kissing for the same reason for which you don’t fancy it — it. feels. intimate.

  • Hmm, interesting story indeed. I’m getting dense these days because I cannot tell whether the man in this story is married or dating another person? Is that why he’s someone else’s man?

  • Kissing vs sex. I remember having this debate back in college. I was supposedly too naive and thusly, outnumbered. But today, years later, I still feel the same. Kissing is def more intimate.

  • Ekuba asked my question…

  • @Kafui – Your comment made me smile 🙂 Different strokes for different folks I guess…

    @Ekuba and Ozohu – Lol! You can’t have every bit of a story spelled out to you 😛 The point is that he is taken…

    @Geri – A like minded sister huh?

  • @Nana: Touché. Glad it made you smile.

  • @ Nana, eii na wa o, so he belongs to someone else! Some guys can be jerks erh? Imagine if the tables were turned- how many men could stomach a woman telling them ‘i’m already taken, and you’re my side-dude but i want you to love me anyway?’ But this is exactly what a lot of men try to do if you allow them. I think you should kick him in the balls next time you see him! he really feels himself erh? @ Ozohu: great minds think alike … heheehee

  • Nana! You have realllllllllllllllllllly juiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicy tales. I saved this one for this evening, just so I could relish on the mystery during the day.

  • @Ekuba, i know right? LOL
    @nana, i think this Mr. is only good for interesting posts…

  • @Ekuba – Hahaha. I don’t actually think he’s a jerk. I think he just needs to be more open with his wife and not pretend he’s being faithful when he’s not. BUT when I suggested that he was like, ‘Ei Nana. Not all women are like you o’….

    @AM – Hahaha. Glad you relished this tale

    @ozohu – and a lot more…

  • Lol, @ Nana, ‘oboaa’ (he’s lying). The older I get, the more I realize that my grandma was right when she told me: ‘every man with two wives/girlfriends has two tongues’! My granny would know, she married 6 men and had a child with 1 married man (mmhmm, i’ll do a blog posting on her exciting life soon lol). These guys all sing the same story when they want to nail a side-chick while their wives wait for them at home. Oh, they’re very in love with you, find you irresistible, their wives suck in bed, are not as understanding/ exciting as you but STILL they will never ever marry you. My advise to other women is either don’t date these phony men at all (the best option actually) or date them and drain them of all their cash (to teach them a lesson)! that’s all.

    • Hahahaha. @Ekuba you are hard core…and you’re probably right. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am sceptical about long term monogamy and I think people (women and men) need to negotiate with their partners whatever is reasonable. I would LOVE to read and hear more about your Granny. She sounds amazing. I love collecting these stories about our maternal ancestors. Notice how radical they seem in these times? Do we not seem to have gotten more conservative? Imagine a woman marrying 6 men in this day and age. What would people say? I wonder, were attitudes to women different then?

  • Hey, Nana, where is Corey? We need him to counter Ekuba!

    Very interesting response, Ekuba… would love to read more about your grandmother.. definitely a novel-length treatment.

    But, I detect in this strain of men are liars a reluctance to grant credit to women for not their own regressive desires.

    A friend was regaling me yesterday about how her married woman friend absconded with HER boyfriend… she’s still married and for all my friend knows, still pursuing her own interests and desires.

    Clearly, women are not waiting for men to be holy.

  • @nana it’s quite obvious that our people in the traditional settings are more liberal, even in these times. married women still live in the family homes and meet their husbands/boyfriends/lovers at the beach for a quickie. it seems that as we educate ourselves, we become more conservative. i have an auntie back in the village who keeps running into her husband at the strangest places and oddest times when she goes on her rendezvous lol. they’re still together though

  • This wanting to eat your cake and still have it syndrome. It appears universal.

    Like Ekuba said, every cheat has two, or three, or ‘n’ tongues. Funny how those who have legitimate reason to walk away at any time t, seem to be the ones who want assurance you’re so into them, you’ll never leave. Abrabo!

    I would love to read about your grandma, @Ekuba.

  • Just realized how much I miss this blog. It really helped me couple of years ago. I’m back for the groove. This story is interesting and I had questions after reading. Fortunately, the comment section seems to be answering my questions.

  • Only few of them actually ever leave. I think deep down it’s either they love the wife/main chic so much or they’re enduring that atmosphere to always have an excuse to ”eat out”. Some are just expressing what we all know (monogamy/monoandry) being harder than it seems. I can’t even fault or judge people fir these; what I’m not comfortable with is living a “lie”. To thy own self, be True. I personally think marriage vows and laws need to be revisited.

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