You haven’t told me that you miss me
The fact that I haven’t told you that I miss you, doesn’t mean I don’t miss you
So why don’t you tell me?
What’s the point of me telling you that I miss you?
In my head I am thinking, “You’re not mine to miss. You’re somebody else’s man. Why should I tell you I miss you?”
I’ve known him for years. We’ve never been more than casual acquaintances. Sometimes he commented on how good I looked. Other times I warned him off my little sister. He was overly flirtatious with her, and I didn’t like it. I knew they amped up their performances for me, that it was mostly a façade, play attraction, but a day after he and I kissed I asked him if he had ever kissed my little sister. No he responded, there was never anything between the two of us. Phew. But I shouldn’t have been too quick to exhale…
I’m not really into kissing
I don’t know. It feels more intimate than fucking
Kissing feels more intimate than fucking?
Yes to me it does
After dinner we sat in his car chatting. I can’t remember what we chatted about but I think we chatted about my blog. He had never read it so I went online to show him what the site looked like. Is that you? He asked whilst pointing to a silhouette of the dark skinned nude beauty on the top right hand side of the page. No I laughed. My nudes are better.
He wants me to miss him
He wants me to tell him that I miss him
He doesn’t want us to fuck too soon
He wants to get to know me better
He wants us to feel comfortable around each other
He wants us to be able to bask in our nakedness and chat after we’ve had sex…whenever that will be
He wants to be able to attend my next birthday party
He wants us to stay friends…no matter what happens
I think he wants a heck of a lot
I see through him
He wants me to become attached to him
He wants me to love him. Yes. Love. He knows I haven’t been in love since 2010. He’s already asked me how many times I’ve been in love. He knows I hold a little bit of myself apart from my lovers. He knows that’s how I keep my emotions intact.
He hopes I won’t get tired of him too soon, that I won’t dog him. Because I’m likely to do that…when I think of how little time he has for me. When I think that we will always have to be discreet. When I think that if anybody finds out about us that I will be the one to bear the blame. After all am I not the single woman who has led the man astray? Am I not the single woman who should have searched for her own man? Am I not the single woman who did not think of the betrayal of her fellow sister?