I should have let him go down…

“Hey” was what I whatsapp’s him just after midnight. I don’t even know why I was whatsapp’ing him. I had asked him several times why he would always contact me after the midnight hour even though he has a girlfriend and all he could say would be something along the lines of, “You’re a good friend and I like to stay in touch with my friends”.  Yeah right.

He responded almost immediately:


“What you up to?”

“Nothing, I just got in. About to jump into the shower”

“Want me to undress you?”

“Eiiii. You are too fast. Aba!”

“Okay, we’ll keep your undies on. I know they are a sexy set”

“I’m predictable huh?”

“Yes…which is hot. What are you wearing today?”

“I’m jumping in the shower now…so nothing at the moment”

“Eish. You’ve worried my imagination. Need a rub down your majesty?”.

“Hahahahaha. I’m sure I’ll manage. You’re far too kind.”

“If it helps I can suck and lick your clit to make sure its really clean…”


That last line really got to me. Damn don’t you hate it when ex lovers use your weaknesses against you.

He really hurt/angered/pissed me off years ago when I thought we were exclusively fucking (Yeah, yeah i know…) and I was determined not to start hooking up with him again. But every so often we have these conversations which can start off so innocently like:



“Chale I dey. What dey go on”

“Stressed man, too much work”

And most of the time the conversation remains at that level, other times it strays to…

“Damn. Do you remember that time you drove to my house naked?”

“Chale that was crazy o. Too crazy”


Then we end up having an hour and a half reminiscing session which has at times resulted in mutual masturbation. Nothing like reliving old memories to get your rocks off huh.

We’ve probably been in this cycle for over a year now, and about a month ago the inevitable happened. After one of these type of conversations he sent me a message saying,


“I am outside your house”


And we fucked.

It was good.

Not as good as the night where I had 2 vaginal orgasms when we fucked in the front yard of his house. But I came…and that was good. Its always good to cum…

If he didn’t have a girlfriend I would fuck him on the regular. If he hadn’t hurt me years ago I would fuck him on the regular…

This morning I am wishing I had allowed him to come over last night…


Photography by Nana Kofi Acquah
Photography by Nana Kofi Acquah

16 comments On I should have let him go down…

  • Nana Darkoa, enjoy yourself. Girlfriend no be wife. If he liked it, he’d have put a ring on it by now. By the way, what did he do to hurt you?

  • Ebei! (Am I using this correctly? You can tell I am trying now) I do not need to read shit like this on this most holy of holy days when my hormone levels are through the roof and my man is away.

    Already mega, super duper horny.

    Today, I just want to…kai. God dey.

  • @Ekuba – Ehhhhh? You’re the last person I expected this comment from. Looollll. Surely the pain a girlfriend feels when her boyfriend cheats on her could equate what a wife feels abi? And that’s your whole point about women should not have sex with married men cos they inadvertently cause their wives pain. Or?

    @Nnenna Marcia – Excellent use of Ebei. You are as fast with learning Twi as Wes is with azonto’ing. Hahahahaha. Have a merry horny Easter

  • You killing me, you women on this site… Ebei!

  • hahaha! Nana D, I’ve told you not to take it seriously when I state ‘entrenched’ views on this page. It’s all for show. Example, those my holier-than-thou comments about cheating which I posted on Asantewaa’s story were done to stimulate debate, stoke fire & start a mini war if possible! lol. I’m surprised anyone listened to me, hello!!! With my track record of serially dating married men , me campaigning against infidelity is just like Charles Taylor campaigning against civil wars (& maybe coup d’états) 🙂 it’s absolutely laughable.
    That having been said, charley, I’ve never gotten that thing where girlfriends/ boyfriends lament that someone has cheated on them. Seriously? is boyfriend/ girlfriend even a recognized position? I’ve always thought that so far as someone doesn’t have a ring on, they’re up for anything. Like I can’t imagine that as I’m here & my boyfriend is home in Ghana (& the rainy season is coming up etc.), if I go home & discover he shagged someone, I’ll throw a tantrum? What would be my position to do that? If he wanted to be tied to me exclusively, he could have married me by now. As things stand now, he has no claim to me & neither do I have any claim to him. We’re all fair game! If anyone should cry because they’ve been cheated on, it’s those people in church/ court certified monogamous unions. Even those in potentially polygamous unions (customary marriage) have no standing to complain really.

  • Actually, a ring is an outward symbol of what folks have committed themselves to… nothing more than that.. the fact that you don’t have a ring doesn’t make the commitment any more or less solemn or meaningful.. As I remembered from my one and only time being a groomsman, during the rehearsal the officiant made it clear that the couple were the ones marrying themselves, the rest of us were there to make that ceremony basically move along at a steady clip.

    So, Ekuba, you and your boyfriend could pledge a commitment to each other right now, and you’d be as good as gold. Or ringed!

  • OK, we are NOT doing the cheating debate on this post. We are only going to do sex.


    Any questions?


  • @ Kofi A: it’s a mere ring but it represents a new standing in society & several benefits- official recognition, financial, right to certain legal claims etc. Without that ring, if my boyfriend dies intestate today, I’m not his widow & I have absolutely no right to even attend his funeral or to partake in his property. It may not seem right, but for centuries since marriage was invented, that mere ring (or gold dust or paper or cattle depending on the society you come from) has come to represent so many things. I believe that is the reason our dear gay & lesbian friends have been asserting their right to get married & refused to be relegated to civil unions only. I mean, a glance at what Edie Windsor went through when her partner died proves this point. So for me (at least) a man can promise me the world with his lips but if he’s not ready to put a ring on it, then he’s indicating that he’s not ready to go all the way to commit to me- yet.

  • Ekuba, what I was getting at was that the ring is the symbol of the commitment, but it’s not the commitment. Ratifying the commitment is another matter, and that may or may not involve rings… Rings are another appurtenance of our colonial heritage, I think. So, if you want to avoid all the ails that you mention, you go over to the registry and get a certificate.. that is the surest legally accepted way you can assert legal rights.

  • @ Kofi A: ok, I’ve got you. I was using the ring metaphorically (& that’s why I said it can be a paper, cattle or gold dust depending on what society you come from). Cheers 🙂

  • Na wa o… The keeping in touch with friends line is ridiculous. I have started telling people who whatsapp or text or call idly when they have girls to go talk to their girls. I will not be ‘cutting’ anybody’s fufu for them. The time can be spent more profitably.

    I could be reading articles and stories on here.

  • @Nhyira – You are soooooooo right. Its like you’re cutting the fufu for someone else to chop. Mtcheww

  • Nana D — *sigh* yes you should have.
    Ekuba & Kofi — That ended too quickly – I was enjoying your debate.

  • @Nana D, I’m smiling because you bossed me and Fams this story the last time we were together. It reads well. ‘

    As for the marriage and ring debate, with my most recent experience, i have to say if there is no ring, it means nothing to the outside world. now all i have are my memories; i can’t lay claim to any part of my lover or even his family.

    • I’m sorry to hear about that KK. It is truly sad to lose the one you love. I hope time brings some closure and healing. Hugs & best wishes.

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