Every heterosexual man should love to eat pussy, even His Excellency Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, though nobody wants that image in their head, so I apologise and promise never to bring it up again.
Every heterosexual man should love to eat pussy. Not all of you do, unfortunately, perhaps because you grew up being told that girls are dirty, or in very religious household, or both (probably both). Maybe you are inexperienced and never got a chance to gain confidence as a practitioner of cunnilingus. Maybe you are trapped in a circle of avoiding it because you are inexperienced and unconfident and inexperienced because you are avoiding it. Maybe there is hope for you. You could still learn to love the taste of twat.
Love the taste, love the power of making a girl shudder and shake with merely a few flicks of your tongue. Love the shyness and vulnerability of it, the throb of a hot pink clit in your mouth, the look on a woman’s face as you help her discover new levels of pleasure. Love the smell of it. Love the smell of it so that when your lover comes home and tells you that she has been thinking of you the whole day, you have every reason to believe her.
Everybody wants to be good at oral sex and the secret, gentlemen and ladies, is simple. You have to love it. If you love it, you will do it and if you do it you will get good at it. You warm your lady up by kissing and touching her where she loves to be touched; her throat, behind her ear, her nipples, her pits, between her breasts, down her stomach. You breathe in the sweet smell of arousal. As you go lower she shivers and you know she is ready. But do you give it to her? You do not. You tease her and continue to kiss her everywhere but her vulva; the crease of her thighs, her taint, her knees, her stomach. You get excruciatingly close but still do not touch, just appreciate her there, waiting like a ripened flower for you.
Then you attack, either subtly and gradually or like a starving man, depending on your mood and inclination. Switching from long luxurious strokes of your whole tongue to short licks and swirls in increasing intervals, never neglecting any one part of her lovely cunt.
And this is where lesser men falter. Their arms start to get sore and their neck stiff and they begin to shift uncomfortably and oh no, they have run out of letters of the alphabet to spell out with their tongues (not realising that just like when they are stroking their own dicks it is rhythm and consistency not novelty which will get them to the finish). The lady in question thinks damn, I’m taking too long and he’s getting bored down there and now I’m distracted and I’m never going to cum. Should I tell him to stop or just fake it?
You who loves vagina however, you are perfectly comfortable down there daydreaming happily about being buried alive in pussy. It is clear that there is nowhere else you would rather be than making love with your mouth to this beautiful woman’s vulva (vulva! Such a great word, like a botanical variety). Your attitude says relax, I got this, and the owner of the vagina in question can tell and this puts her at ease. She can now focus her full attention on riding each wave of pleasure coursing from her clitoris to her head and the sensation of each of her limbs disappearing and not being a body but one great ball of good feelings; an orgasmic star.
When she climaxes it is a reward to you both, and you open your mouth to feel every tremor, every tremble, swallow every aftershock so you can remember it to savour the next day when you are bored in a meeting.
Every heterosexual man should love to eat pussy.