My friends and I have been talking about ‘selfies’, and discussing whether they play into mainstream pornographic framing of what sexiness is. Or whether selfies can be a radical act of portraying bodies that are usually not the kind of bodies we see portrayed as beautiful in mainstream media i.e. skinny, white/light skinned, able bodied, heteronormative (I’m sure you can add to this list). One of my friends suggested we do some ‘sexy intellectual selfies’ for our private group. This is one of the images I shared with my friends today, and I thought I would share with you all, and ask for your thoughts. Are nude/sexy selfies gratuitous? Do you feel empowered and beautiful when you take a nude image of yourself? Have you ever had a nude photoshoot or would you like to take one? Why do our societies get all het up about nudity (for those in my country Ghana, the latest controversy has been that of a nude image of the FOKN Bois aka @Wanlov and @M3nsamusic).
In case you are wondering the books on my lap are books that I felt have offered me some intellectual and emotional thoughts on sex, love and desire. Here’s my list in case you’re interested in checking them out.
‘Love’ – Toni Morrison (this is a book I need to re read because I can’t really remember much, and Ms Morrison for me is one of those authors that I feel I need to read a couple of times before I really get her).
‘Wounds of Passion’ – Alice Walker (I absolutely loved this book. bell hooks has been integral to my thinking as a feminist. Anna Saskin referenced this book in her post about whether its controversial to sleep with ‘another woman’s man’.
‘Best Black Women’s Erotica 2’ – edited by Samiya Bashir (I’m a fan of erotica. Especially erotica written by Black women. I plan one day to edit a collection of erotic stories written by Adventures contributors) Let me just share with you the opening sentences to this collection from Bashir’s introduction:
“Touch. Like the pages of this volume, we all need to be touched, caressed, flipped, turned and read with passion. Our senses need inspiration to open and flare, to allow the flow of sensory input, ever present in our world, to wash through our bodies and into the spiritual realm housed within.”
Can I hear a resounding Amen?
‘African Women Writing Resistance: Contemporary Voices’ – edited by Jennifer Browy de Hernandez, Pauline Dongala, Omotayo Jolaosho, and Anne Serafin (this collection is so rich in diverse stories of resistance which yes, includes young women speaking out on sexuality)
‘African Sexualities: A Reader’ – edited by Sylvia Tamale (I even made a small appearance in this reader when Sylvia Tamale referenced a story I had shared about my experience at the gynecologist).
So if you’ve been looking for some reading material to learn more about sex, love, desire you can start off with these. Even though I haven’t read it yet I have heard very good things about ‘The Queer Reader’ edited by Sokari Ekine and Hakima Abbas so check that out too and let me know your thoughts.
22 comments On The politics of taking ‘selfies’ and books on sex, sexuality and desire
Sexy and intellectual it is too! Nice one woman
all i can say is please remove the books, locs & phone which are obscuring all the tins I want to see & snap the picture again. Thanks.
LOL!! You read my mind.
Eh, let’s not fight o. Those tings are NOT for you. I say you earn it if you write Nana a response to her story ma! 😉
Can i just second Ekuba?Amen!
You’re all funny 🙂 Ekuba, AM and maskuraid…you know what, lets strike a deal…if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine. You can send your ‘sexy intellectual nudes’ to the usual address 😛
And if I read those books on your lap do I then get to see yours
Ha! Nice try Mike…but I don’t know you so I don’t know if I would be attracted to you or not 🙂
I can only dream Nana but I prefer slightly older women not girls. And such a beautiful shade of shiny chocolate too sweeter than Cadbury’s
Nana, all chocolate coloured and shiny. Nice one.
I’m still not confident about taking pictures of my ample self as the body has aged and not what I’d wish it to be. So naked pictures are out. However, walking around naked is not an issue for me at all. Just taking pictures.
Erotic literature really does have a central place in how we escape the doctrines of forced sexual identity and normative behaviour.
My customers are always asking for erotic literature but the whole sellers do not stock BLACK erotic literature only the mass produced ones for a largely white audience.
Very sad.
@madam butterfly – You and Nnenna need to talk. Her books should be stocked at Intimate Pleasures. I just bought a copy and it was downloaded to my mac so that’s an option right. I do agree with you? We need more black erotica to be readily available, especially those written by African women.
I hear you about not being that confident with taking pictures of your nude body. I’m not as confident with taking nudes as much as I would like to be, and January this year was the first time I wore a bikini. I’m trying to love my body as it is though, and that’s definitely an ongoing practice
<<<<< WRITES BLACK EROTICA. Why is my book not in that list on your lap, eh? For people who do not know though, my book of erotica is two weeks old now and it's called 'Africa Hot: West African Stories of Sex and Love' available for £4.30 on erbooks.com. Thank you.
Nana, how on earth are you the same complexion all over? Me I am jealous o. My colours are; Milk chocolate, palm oil, spoilt Egovin and mud respectively. Oh and a bit of 'tiger stripage' thrown in.
Lol my darling @Nnenna, you are absolutely right. I’ve just gone to erbooks.com and purchased my copy. I promise to review it for Adventures readers too. *Mwah*
And I’m sure you’re beautiful as your are.
I think selfies are just that..selfies..girls like to look at ourselves..so selfies present the perfect opportunities..yaay. I have never had a nude photo shoot. but would love to.with my afro and all of my rolls,folds and stretchmarks .so if u know someone who wants to shoot a sexy fat babe..holler at me..lol
@billboardgyal – I plan to do an Adventures photo shoot (so we have a portfolio of diverse images we can use on the site)one day when we have enough money/a pro photographer agrees to sponsor us, and yeah, I’ll call on you then
yes!!I would be glad to give u all ny sexy poses.all of them
those legs are amazing, am loving the blog by the way keep up the good work
@zhandu – Thank you 🙂
Been reading this blog and you know what as a man I now know how to make a woman come reliably thanks to this blog.
Hooking up never was a problem. The anxiety was making love in a way that would make sure your partner came away satisfied and I can say I can guarantee that yet I am a roly poly nerd in hid mid 40s.
Hmmm Nana you are hot. If we ever ever meet I am hitting on you just for the experience !!!
As for the reading experience well this blog is heavily intellectual for a sex blog. Damn this place could easily be a course or thesis or paper at University. Sexuality and its Role in the lives of African Women. The reading list just gets longer and longer. I think my visa card has taken a US$500 beating courtesy of this blog.
Keep it up ladies and ahem Nana what is your number ?
@Bima – Reading your comment this morning made my day. Thank you so much for this feedback. I am beyond thrilled that your sex life, and the sex life of your partner(s) has improved. Heyyyy, nerds are sexy you know! I’m hot? *does the African woman blush*, thank you, you’re far too kind.
Your selfie is so beautiful. I started taking selfies out of curiosity to see what my body looked liked when I wasn’t viewing it critically in the mirror. I think it’s brought me greater body acceptance, I’ve rescued my body sexually from the white male colonial gaze. I might not look like the girls in porn or in the magazines but my body is sexy and looking at a nude picture of myself I can really appreciate that.
Thanks so much Ireti. The idea of selfies bringing greater body acceptance is one that I’ve recently become interested in thanks to conversations with a group of my friends. Its important that we all learn to love our bodies, flaws and all. I’m still working on loving ALL parts of mine.