“Nimechoka kupendwa kwa giza kama mihadarati”
(I’m tired of being loved in the dark like illegal drugs)
My best friend said this to me when we both got turned down at the same time by these dudes we were fucking (who are in relationships).
First of all, niggas ain’t shit. We be knowing that.
Second, everybody is cheating. If you’re not cheating, your partner is. The only people not cheating or being cheated on, are those who are out with their hoe status.
Bestie and I, we are firmly embedded in our hoe. We live it loud and proud, so we meet and fuck all types. Including boo’d up types.
I called mine ‘Pretty Boy.’
It was literally as easy as saying, “You’re so cute, I want to kiss you…” Moments after we were just talking about his girlfriend. Watchu think Pretty Boy said?
Kissing turned fingering, turned very heavy petting, turned “come home with me.”
(That’s me, most times)
Home (a.k.a sex) was great!
Those fingers… and the places they went!
Roll up some weed
Smoke up some trees
Turn the lights down low
Come a lil close
“Element of freedom”
(It really sucks that people have to be in relationships exclusively and deprive the rest of us of such momentary gloriousness.)
You know when the dick is so good
And it’s buried in so deep
And all your senses are brimming with pleasure?
You could say anything to me in that moment
…and I’ll say yes.
For example, Sunset was all:
“Do you love me? Say you love me” Of course I said yes, yes and yessssss!
Pretty Boy’s version was:
“I want you to tell me to cum inside you”
Yo! I don’t know how this reads on paper, but hearing it breathed into my ear,
With his dick so good
Buried in so deep
…and all my senses brimming with pleasure?
(ADVISORY: Don’t do it folks. Don’t let them cum inside you. Unless they are about to write you a check for pain and suffering as you wait the 2 weeks to do a pregnancy test)
Color me weak for good dick
Freedom is my cause. Specifically, sexual liberation. My great sex with Pretty Boy + what Bestie said + what Pretty Boy said when he was ending our brief sexcapade had me revisit what this type of freedom means to me.
(The sex was so good and we had so much fun, I couldn’t resist going back for more. His turn down was the usual, “can’t do it anymore, feeling guilty, disingenuous bla bla…)
Sexual liberation means-
I’m not burdened by such feelings
of guilt and disingenuity because
I am not betraying anyone
as I go forth and fuck.
It means –
my true self expressing itself
adds love and light to everything it touches.
I can love and fuck freely and with abandon.
It means opting out of these
‘kupendwa kwa giza’ scenarios.
Bad energy stay the fuck far away.
It means choosing sexcapades
that are wholesome, honest,
highly sexually charged,
out in the light and endless,
in a way.
Whatever we get is ours forever.
I want to remember all the forevers happily
Cue Element of Freedom (album) by Alicia Keys.
I’m taking my songs back.
Thanks for the memories Pretty Boy.
Sexy time was lit.
I wish you freedom.
May you know true sexual liberation (and be loved for it.)
(Read next: My Long-Distance Works)