I love this image. It captures the desire I sometimes feel to be held close and tight by someone who really cares for me. My multi-talented friend Amina gifted this image to me to accompany a piece I've written for This is Africa on 'Love and the successful African woman'. Check out my article, and let me know your comments via the TIA ...  [Read more]

The V-Day organization has asked 1 billion people to rise “to show the world our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders” and renew efforts to end violence against women. I would like to suggest that we replace violence with love, and that we start with the love of the self. How do you show love to yourself? How do you show love when the world tells you that you are unworthy of love? When it is illegal to love ...  [Read more]

You haven’t told me that you miss me The fact that I haven’t told you that I miss you, doesn’t mean I don’t miss you So why don’t you tell me? What’s the point of me telling you that I miss you? In my head I am thinking, “You’re not mine to miss. You’re somebody else’s man. Why should I tell you I miss you?” I’ve known him for years. We’ve never been more than casual acquaintances. Sometimes he commented ...  [Read more]

  Do not hold me back I have waited and waited For you For this moment I have stopped myself countless times Denied myself from letting go From falling over the abyss Only because I want to fall with you I did not let him touch me Even though my body craved a touch Any He did not kiss me Or Make love to my screaming body Because I kept this all tucked away Someway Somehow To unleash ...  [Read more]

Tony  tapped his foot on the restaurant  floor until Afosua arrived. She sounded so intense on the phone…more agitated than normal. He was looking forward to seeing her, but wondered what could possibly have set her on edge so badly. Perhaps she was having regrets about the last time they were together. A few moments later she walked into the door and hurried to his table. He stood and pulled out a chair for her, unsure if he should hug ...  [Read more]

Gertrude sat at her dining room table admiring her newly procured passport. She cradled it in her hands so that it would not make contact with the linoleum table cloth, as though it might sully it. She was giddy with the thought of leaving the country for the first time. Her mother brought her a plate of food. The chicken breast was cut into slender rectangles and lay delicately on top of the piping hot jollof rice. Her mother sat opposite ...  [Read more]

  The men were shy (or couldn’t be bothered or acted too cool). However, they would quickly man up when I went to suggest that the women were alone in one corner of the bar… I had to keep doing this every 20-30min with different guys. The women were particularly appreciative when I’d come in, move a couple of them from their seats (discreetly talking to them about fixing the gender segregation) and take them to the guy's ...  [Read more]

Friday. 5.30pm. Time was of the essence. He had a plane to catch, I’d been stuck in traffic. There was only time to grab the cases, snatch a hug and a kiss goodbye before the dash to the airport. 5.32pm. The hug lasts thirty seconds too long, yet he doesn’t seem as anxious as I. He holds me and as we peel ourselves off each other, he asks, “Will you marry me?” Time stops… Having dated L for almost a year and a half, the question of ...  [Read more]

Okay. So what is this? Don’t men or women ever go straightforward in love anymore? Do we have to do this perpetual swan dance? Makes me sick. What with the power play already?   I like you, and you saw it; and because you were also feeling something for me, you made the first move and asked me out. But I can’t handle someone taking the game outta my hands, so no I won’t go out with you. In fact, I’ve lost interest ...  [Read more]

Dear M, You may or may not have realized it, but these last few days in NYC were very hard for me. Emotionally hard, and that threw me for a loop. I wasn’t expecting this trip to be such an emotional rollercoaster. I wasn’t expecting to be upset and teary eyed because we weren’t spending all our time together. I wasn’t expecting to be upset that you would change the plans we had to go to a poetry slam on my last night in town in ...  [Read more]