It was a pleasant mid-summer afternoon and I was walking through the city centre with a colleague when I asked whether our co-worker Tom – fashionable, stick thin, skinny jeans-wearing, long fringe-flipping, gay and proud Tom – was still with the firm. He replied “I don’t know, but I hope he isn’t. Every time I speak to him I’m scared for my arsehole, innit.”
*crickets*
Now let’s look past the abomination that is ending a statement, no matter how perversely ignorant, with “innit”. The bigger issue here is that my colleague is not alone in his views – and I’m not talking about the homophobia, we all know how unfortunately widespread that is – but the deep-seated …

Maybe I’m reading too much into things but some of the responses in some of the articles on this website really struck me with the apparent deep convictions of those who engaged in premarital sex that what they did made them fall short in the eyes of god. The very words used to describe their experiences were quite instructive, particularly the word “impure.” I’ve long known this word to be linked to sexual interaction but it’s always sobering to see it still wielding the power it did all through the centuries. Sexual interaction, including intercourse, is by far a most wonderful way of expressing one’s love …

I am hoping to do a series of these interviews with diverse African women. If you are interested in answering these questions (I might switch up the questions to keep the interviews interesting) please send me an email via adventuresfrom[at]gmail.com . It will be great if you could give me a brief ‘sex’ bio so I can decide how best to structure the interview. Let me know your thoughts on the interview in the comments box.
NS: What does sexuality mean to you?
Ms. Choclit: Sexuality is the full expression of my vagina! My sexuality is all about pussy power.
NS: How would you define your sexual orientation?
Ms. Choclit: Oriented to have fun! Hehe. I would identify as …

A friend informed me that today is ‘National Coming Out Day’, and i jokingly said to her, ‘Great, lets come out on the blog today’.
A few minutes later I check my twitter account and www.feministing.com have a link to a post on ‘Happy Coming Out Day’…I liked the following quote from their site:
“It’s well documented that the more people someone knows who are LGBTQ, the more accepting they are of queer folks.
So find someway to celebrate today, even as an ally who supports everyone regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression”
Personally I think its important for ‘straight’ people to speak up on issues of gay rights. A couple of weeks ago one of my boyfriends …

Clearly a lot, right, but perhaps not in the way you may initially envisage. As part of my interest in researching sex and sexuality I borrowed this huge tome, “Our Sexuality” by Robert Crooks and Karla Baur* which I will be dipping in and out of and sharing some interesting bits with you all.
What are your thoughts on the following:
” Smell. A person’s sexual history and cultural conditioning often influence what smells he or she finds arousing. We typically learn through experience to view certain odors as erotic and others as offensive. From this perspective, there may be nothing intrinsic to the fragrance of genital secretions that might cause them to be perceived as either …

Why is it that people ask if you’re gay when you stand up for gay rights?
Why do I know so many wonderful single girls and no single men?
Being in a relationships is overrated.
Religious people get married early so they can have guilt free sex
Pre-colonial African women had more control over their own sexuality compared to African women of today
Polygyny should be outlawed
Teenagers should be encouraged to masturbate as part of comprehensive sex education

I want to thank one of the readers of this blog for drawing my attention to an article on the NYTimes.com website by Daniel Bergner “What do Women Want? – Discovering What Ignites Female Desire”.
This article features various pieces of research being carried out into women’s sexuality. As is sometimes the case with research the “evidence” and conclusions reached by the various scientists are often contradictory. I will summarise my understanding of the key findings from this article:
Meredith Chivers is a professor at Queen’s university in Kingston, Ontario. Her research involved volunteers being connected to plethysmographs – for men this is a device that fits over the penis and measures swelling and for women it …

A reader of this blog asked me ‘So, how did you get so confident?’. I guess what she really meant was, how did you become so bold in writing about sex? The fact is, I don’t think it’s confidence that has led to me writing about sexuality. I think my motivation is a continuation of my politics as a feminist. I think women have the RIGHT to have great sex and I think a lack of knowledge prevents a lot of us from having great sex.
There is also a lot of silence about sex (I have to point out that I am speaking from my personal standpoint). My sex education as a child was primarily …

I hope you are intrigued by the name of our spanking new blog, ‘Adventures from the bedroom of African women’. I am too, even though I am a co-author for this blog.
So what is this blog about? This blog is simply about the diverse sexualities of African women. I have found myself becoming interestingly interested in women’s sexuality the older I have got. (I am all of 31 years old in case you are wondering) I am interested in knowing what brings women pleasure, how women negotiate pleasureable sex with their partners, why women put up with ‘bad sex’.
I have had conversations with friends who have ‘confessed’ to faking orgasms in order to be over …