This blog has been inspired by Kwaku who wanted a few tips for men as ‘women are so complicated’. I always get baffled when men say women are complicated. Two almost contradictory thoughts tend to pop into my mind.
1. Women are really not that complicated.
2. Actually it’s a good thing to be ‘complex’. Being ‘complex’ implies you are interesting, that there is more to you than meets the eye, that your thoughts are not just one dimensional but multi-dimensional, layered and multi-faceted…
So what would you rather be?
Hmmm, where do I start when it comes to giving sex tips to men who have sex with women? I guess it is always a good idea to start with the personal so I shall share what has worked best for me and what I know to be true…
I mentioned in my previous post that apparently 70% of women have never had orgasms. I think this is because the way ‘we’ have sex is generally done in a manner which gives more pleasure to the male body rather than the female body. Let’s take the concept of foreplay for example. The whole idea of foreplay for me is problematic. Foreplay implies that there is a main act to follow whereas for a lot of women foreplay is the main play. The main act, if we think of it as ‘in out, in out’ is not always pleasurable for women especially if the clitoris is not being stimulated during the sexual act. Sex also tends to end when the man orgasms…
Now let’s flip the script. What if in the act of sex there is no foreplay or mainplay which ends with male ejaculation? What if sex is a series of pleasurable sensations which involve all our senses of touch, taste, smell? What if sex only ends when both parties have come? Maybe once, twice, thrice…
Here are my top tips for men – based on my personal preferences, all women are different 🙂
1. I like to be touched all over. Please do not just head to the obvious spots…the breasts and clitorises are not the only erogenous zones.
2. Don’t rush through foreplay. Foreplay is the main play.
3. Let’s flip the script from time to time. Sex can get boring when we do the same routine day in, day out.
4. Surprise me with a new trick that you have read about. Women are forever reading about ’10 ways to please your men in bed’ as featured in Cosmo or some other women’s magazine. I don’t see why men cannot read about what pleases women and practice.
5. Get acquainted with sex toys. They can add spice to your sex life.
6. Send me an erotic text to let me know you are thinking about me…it gets me ready even before we hook up.
7. Go down on me only if you want to. If you cannot do something with gusto please do not even try.
A final fail safe tip which should (hopefully) work for all women.
8. Ask me what I want from my partner in bed, or out of the bedroom for that matter…
Are these tips helpful gentlemen? Ladies, what are your thoughts? What are your top tips for men?