Periods suck. Big time.

I hate my periods.

Full stop.

I just don’t get it. I wish I could be all earth mother’ish about the sustenance of life flowing out of my body but I just can’t.

Periods suck.

Big time.

Plus mine last FOREVER…6 days! Without fail, every 25 days or so I start to bleed. I can’t wear thongs in that period (cos I fill a super sized tampon in less than an hour. Okay that’s a bit of an exaggeration). I can’t wear white cos there have been occasions when I have soiled my clothes…(which reminds me of my days at St Mary’s Secondary School where we wore white school uniforms, if you soiled your uniform you would tie your blue cardigan around your waist. Inevitably a male teacher would ask you to take off your cardigan and you would have to ‘confess’ to having soiled your outfit). And during the heaviest days of my flow I have to avoid the gym for fear that all that jumping around would cause my sanitary towel to dislodge. Those ALWAYS ads that show women doing all sorts of amazing things during their periods? I hate them. But I guess adverts work cos I instinctively purchase ALWAYS. I buy all the types of packs that are available – with Wings, for heavy absorbency, tampons, tampax…

I used to deny that there was any such thing as PMS. I loathe the idea of biological essentialism so I deny biological restrictions on principle, but as I’ve grown older there are times where I have experienced PMS. Or maybe I have finally been socialised to the existence of PMS? This week my 32G boobs were actually bigger…which is not too much of a problem, except that they were PAINFUL and felt swollen. Now what is all that about? If it wasn’t for my ‘born again virgin’ status I would have been running for a pregnancy test. And why do we experience fake pregnancy symptoms before our period starts? I can be so ravenous in the week before my period – ravenous for food, ravenous for sex, ravenous for…well whatever I want really. All desire is magnified. All emotions are magnified. A couple of years ago, a nutritionist I was paying a ridiculous sum of money to see told me that most women murderers committed murder during their period. That makes perfect sense to me.

My doctor friend says I should go for a scan. Maybe I have fibroids. Maybe I do. Apparently 50% of black women have fibroids. 6 years ago or so, I went to see my local doctor and told him that I was concerned about the size of my stomach and was wondering if I had fibroids. He manipulated my belly and asked:

“do you feel a pain here?”


“and here?”


“Maybe you should just loose some weight then”

In all fairness, I didn’t have the long periods that I have now. I think my periods were only 5 days long then…

So. Periods suck. Big time.


19 comments On Periods suck. Big time.

  • I am totally TOTALLY feelin’ you! I get all manner of weird looks when I declare I would like to induce early menopause! I want the Goddess of bodies to come and remove my monthlies. Why? Why must I suffer like this without fail EVERY EVERY month! Its absurd! I even do the double Tampon/Pad Combo thing because they are THAT heavy. Eisshhh! And Yes, I eat like a horse, cry, get grumpy, give people evil eyes…and then just like that after 5 -7 days – Im back to myself again. I went to a store the other day to discuss the merits of buying the Mooncup…but truthfully the thought of sticking a cup up there to gather my flow…and even more attention to the leaking space in my body made me even more irritated..I left the store without the purchase…and feeling equally as miserable. #InSolidarity

  • Charle! I didn’t even want to go there with early menopause cos I feel the same…at the same time I am scared of early menopause in case my maternal clock decides to start tick tocking. My friend E also recommended that I do the double tampon/pad thing but I was just like “oh hoh”. Which reminds me that I’ve been sitting here for 2 hours…I’ll better rush to the loo and check that I’m not leaking. Eugh

  • check. check. check.
    I do 5 days and get all the symptoms, plus mood swings. I tell the bf, i get irritated doing that period especially with people who act ‘stupid’ and those who talk too much (hint, hint).
    Maybe I can mind-control the flow and periods of flow. (hint, hint to God)
    To those who say I am getting fat during my period, get this, it is called BLOATING!. They should try it sometime. 🙂

  • yeah periods suck big time,,,d thing i hate d most is the terrible hurricane cramps that come along with it thus forcing me to self medicate to numb me through the horribly long 6 days.Without medication i can only hope my body would shut into comatose to save me from the hurricanes.

  • @Aba – hehehe. I link the idea of mind controlling the period 🙂 Let’s work on that…

    @Anney – Oh I’m so sorry sister. I rarely get cramps but I have seen grown women in tears from period pains. I feel for you

  • I know that we are loathe to use our biology as an excuse. But, I have decided that pregnancy, periods and menopause all count as illnesses. It really does not matter if it happens every month or if it happens to every woman. We experience major hormonal changes within 28 days. I think there are three major hormonal changes and releases within most months for most women of child-bearing age. This causes massive physical changes in our bodies. Our moods swings and irritability stem from having to cope with our usual lives during our periods. We women should not give off the impression that we can handle it all just to prove that we can. how can we? Our bodies don’ expect that we can hence the discomfort. And it it NOT a sign of weakness that we acknowledge this. These are morbidity issues. Blood loss that heavy, even expected, wrecks havoc on the body. I’m ranting but I just feel that there is too much pressure on women to cope with all that our reproductive systems puts us through.

    Now, I do think you should check for fibroids, just to be on the safe side. As you know, African women are more at risk for fibroids than women of other races. One day, someone will explain to me why. And take it easy during that time of month.

  • @Kinna – Its serendipity 🙂 Just been reading Malcolm Gladwell’s “What the Dog Saw”, and there’s a whole chapter that ends up discussing the pill and menstruation. Apparently our women ancestors had about 100 periods in their lifetimes whilst we have about 400. The increased period affects our mood, energy levels, and increases our risk of certain cancers. This is so messed up!

    Here’s a quote:

    “…for most women…incessant ovulation serves no purpose except to increase the occurence of abdominal pain, mood shifts, migraines, endometriosis, fibroids and anemia – the last of which…”is one of the most serious health problems in the world”.

    Charle, in January 2012, I am going to a Dr and installing a diaphragm or finding a pill that won’t make me fatter than I already are…

  • *am*…this comment is 3 vodkas later 🙂

  • As much as hate my period, there is nothing worse than missing one. I am currently 4 or 5 days late and i know i am NOT preggers because i haven’t gotten any action since my last period (yay for long distance). I changed my contraception recently and it is supposed to stop periods. I cannot wait to confirm with the gynecologist that all is normal but i am supposed to give it 1 more week.
    In the meantime, i am holding off on telling the bf because i do not want him to freak out – we double up on contraception and use condoms as well 🙂

    So as much i hate my period, the cramps and mood swings it brings with it, being ‘late’ and not being sure why sucks. I might actually be happy when/if it comes back….and then go right back to loathing it. Sigh.

  • Ladies!
    I have laughed my ass off reading the post and the subsequent comments. Thank you. I really needed it today. I have to echo everything said, but add that I’m a new woman since I got an IUD in January this year. Sure it took about 5 months for it to be a bit more regulated and after that my cramps are back, but I bleed for 2 days at most and have cramps for only the day of the first flow instead of my old bleeding for like 8 (yes) and cramping two or three days before and 3 during. So it’s all about perspective. ND, do check for fibroids, my mom’s were the size of a grapefruit which grew alongside me and she nearly lost me. On a side note, I really do enjoy the increase in boob size; it’s like the boob job I never got, once a month. Thanks for the release!

  • @Fleur de Lis – I feel you on the late periods issue. Hmmm

    @ Kuukua – Hehe. I am glad out of misery can come merriment. A 2 day period? That sounds like bliss. I might go to the Dr sooner rather than later 🙂

  • Mine are from hell most times. I can’t use tampons so I have to use like 3 pads @ once! That’s how heavy they are! And even with 3 pads I still get soiled! Soo tired of dem. Don’t even get me started on the backache and cramps. Gosh!

  • @xtine – Wow. You make my periods sound like a walk in an idyllic park…Seriously ladies, we need to take power back! This is ridiculous. AND apparently its not natural too. We need to see gynecologists who understand these issues and find viable alternatives to this monthly misery.

  • Hello. Im new to the website. Im so impressed by the honesty of people here. And Africans to boot 🙂

    To the period issue.. get on the pill already! I used to have the most terrible periods. when I was in secondary school, the school nurse used to have to give me a sedative for the first day to knock me out monthly because the pain was just unbearable.

    Since I have been on the pill, I’ve had no periods.. period! for those of you who cant live without your monthly visitor, It doesn’t affect all women that way. Others just get lighter periods but I cant say I miss the old hag.

  • Welcome @ Black_orchid – I hope you will stay, and continue to enliven the blog with your comments. Seriously, I am going to fix this period issue. Thanks for sharing

  • Periods. My god. First it’s 7-10 PMS days of mood swings and tantrums and crying jags and hot flashes and weird cravings and insomnia, then the real thing: Cramps so bad I overdose on painkillers that could knock a horse out. Not even going to talk about the fear of getting ‘stained’. Sigh.

  • 4 a grown woman (ME!) that dont even know ..truthfully cos if it was an F9 for me .. wat and how to calculate menstrual cycle ; I rely on the naggin throb in my bellly 2days before the SHIT hits the fan aka PMS starts to reassure my ass that NO GOAL has been scored this month. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PMS & I is alove/hate;almost incestous relationship so I wont ask 4 a less than 7days outflow partly due to my ignorance in calculation BUT also caus of som supersition that says that US(5-7days periods) r guarrenteed to birth more easily than the REST.

  • I.Shouldn’t.Have.Read.This!

    The resultant images will interfere with my future erections

  • Great post! I feel you sister! Let me bring the period “gadgets” that many of you need.

    1. The menstrual cup. Say goodbye to ever buying tampons and pads again.

    2. The Hormone Spiral. After giving birth recently, I got this as a “gift” from my Godmother who happens to be a gynecologist. Apparently it will reduce periods or make them stop (!) while effectively stopping any pregnancy with only local (in utero) hormones added. For 5 years!

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