Guest Contributor Voluptous Voltarian: Where Do Broken Beds Go When They Can’t Find Their Way Home?

My boyfriend and I have broken up. We broke my bed before we broke up. So now every time I sleep on it, and turn on my side in a particular direction, I get this vocal reminder of how well he used to rock my world. If I could change my bed I would, but I worry that then I would miss him and I wouldn’t even have this little reminder of the good times.

He and I started as buddies. Somehow the fucking led to talking and then the talking led to feeling and the feeling led to falling and then we were a couple, fantasizing about forever. We had problems, real ones, not least of them being that because we were such good friends before we became fuck buddies we knew entirely too much about each other’s pasts relationships and love lives. He knew all about the only guy I had fucked before him, the one who I was certain would be the father of my children. He had all the details about the blowjobs I would give while my ex and I were driving on the highway, the time we got caught fucking in the parking lot of a police station. He knew all about the fucking we did on my period when I was hornier than hell and wanted it so badly I couldn’t think and the way my ex would tease me and tease me and tease me and then suddenly grab the string hanging between my legs, pull the tampon out and replace it with his dick in one fell swoop, and I would come from the sudden sensation of emptiness and fullness at the same time. He knew all about my secondary school boyfriend who had the most beautiful penis in the entire world and whom I always regret that I never got to fuck.

I knew all about the neverending blowjob he had gotten on a fourteen-hour bus ride from his buxom girlfriend, the time he fucked her on all fours in an uncompleted building in Accra, that one time when she had been sick but had still wanted to sleep with him before she went to the hospital and how when he slid inside her, because she was running a fever her temperature had been so high that her pussy had been like a sauna. It had been the weirdest sensation but sexy as hell and he had come in two minutes. I even knew details about his random short-lived dalliances; like this girl who trembled uncontrollably every time he was inside her. We nicknamed her Tremblina. The first time we fucked we even referenced Tremblina; I hadn’t told him I was a trembler too sometimes and he teased me about it.

We were best friends first and I never thought we would fuck or end up in love so I never stopped him from telling me this stuff. But once we were together we both couldn’t forget how much we knew.

I wish I could say how much we knew is why we broke up but that wouldn’t be entirely accurate. I can’t really say why we broke up. We just started fighting a lot for no reason and then walking on eggshells around each other for reasons we wouldn’t articulate. And then before we knew it we were arguing and saying we were tired of doing it and hurting each other in ways we can probably never mend. I want him back in my bed so badly but if there is anything I know about fucking when you have broken up it is this: It is never equitable. One person is always trying to fuck the other person out of their system so they can move on. Another person is always trying to fuck their way back into the other person’s mind and heart so the sex can glue them back together. The messed-up thing is that I’m not even really sure which of the two I would be. While we were doing it I would just be overwhelmed by the sensation of being in it, be taken with the thought of breaking more planks in the frame of my bed, be mesmerized by the reality of inhaling him and sucking him into my pussy and biting the curve of his shoulder when I come. After he left, the bed would just be even more broken and our problems would be even more unsolvable. Chale.  

Adventurers, have any of you ever hooked up with an ex shortly after breaking up when the feelings were still fresh? How was it? Were you the one fucking your way in or the one fucking your way out?

15 comments On Guest Contributor Voluptous Voltarian: Where Do Broken Beds Go When They Can’t Find Their Way Home?

  • Shot through with heartbreak….

  • Broken beds?! VV, get that man back!! Do juju on him, and marry him!!

  • @ African Mami. hahahaha. African Mami u will kill me oh! Juju paaa!

  • African Mami…lol thats such brilliant advice lmfao.
    VV…i know that need- the need to get back to something that felt so right and so wrong all in equal measure. But from experience I can confidently say giving in to this need cannot be a good thing. Unless of course, you do do him juju and marry him. Hahahaha

  • Fucking an ex is totally wrong and if the feelings r fresh.i prefer going to someone else to clear da feelings.

  • if u CANT let go… dont let go. Go get him grrrl

  • sweetheart, exactly 2 weeks ago, I fucked my ex whom I very badly wanted back- in my office, no less. And we ended back together. This was after I had invited him over to my office for some drinks (wine) and chocolate cake. I wore my sexiest dress. We kissed after his second bite of chocolate cake. I asked him in my sweetest honeyed voice to ‘look me in the eye and tell me he didn’t love me anymore or fantasize about me during our breakup?’ He said he still loved me. I said ‘well, ‘there isn’t any problem we cant solve if we both love each other’. We made love and reunited. Morale of the story- decide whether you still want him. If you do, then ditch all the ‘break-up rules’, bring out your machine guns and go get him back. Say it together with me: ALL is fair in love and war 🙂

  • oops, sorry should have typed moral instead of morale! carry on ladies and gentlemen 🙂

  • @Ekuba…am soo happy for you. Even though i dont know you,i kinda felt sad for u weeks back whn u were mooning over your ex ex:). way to go gal…totally digging your approach to this

  • @Minnie I don’t agree that fucking an ex is totally wrong. It really depends on what led to the break up as Ekuba’s case proves. It is always good to explore what went wrong. That way you could get back tohether and the relationship will even be better than before.
    @Ekuba I don’t think fucking an ex does necessarily bring him or her back. Again it depends on what led to the break up. I have in the past broken up with an ex when I felt she did something that crossed the boundary and I lost interest so I called it quits. By this time she was already pressuring me to marry her and I felt I couldn’t contain it anymore. She did her best to get me back and we did fuck for a while but it wasn’t the same. The main reason I got back with her was bcos she was hurting so bad and I didn’t want to see her that distressed. Had it been another behaviour I would have accepted an apology and got back with her fully.
    In VV’s case we do not know the real reason why they started fighting each other over flimsy excuses. The reason could be they knew too much about each other’s past and decided subsconciously that the relationship is not serious and not for keeps. Or it could be any other reason which we will not know. What I do know is that it is worth exploring why the relationship ended so as to get closure. Perhaps issues could be discussed and they could either get back together to break up the remaining of the bed with mind blowing sex or at least there can be closure.

  • I am now more than ever convinced after reading Ekuba’s salacious comment, that VV, I am going to personally hook you up with the very best of juju!! I have connects.

    Ekuba darling, winking at ya!! It’s gerring hott in here.

  • @ African Mami: ROTFLMAO. I have always said that every African needs one connection that knows a good juju man and i have always, alas, not had even one single friend or family member who knew where to get that kind of “intervention”. I am glad to finally find a cyber-friend who can personally hook me up with juju, lol.

    @everyone else: thanks for the sympathy and the advice. I actually think the main reason we broke up is that we both felt so strongly about each other and were so determined to not make the same mistakes that we had in the past that we put way too much pressure on the relationship. I actually sent this post to Nana a few weeks ago so the situation is much different now. I didn’t seduce him Ekuba-style, though now i wish i had. He just went home, gave it some thought and came back and asked if he could do the day over and we could have another discussion that didn’t end with a breakup. I initially said no because i was really hurt and didn’t want to take a chance on him hurting me so badly i would never recover by coming back and leaving again so I said no. But then after a week of sleeping on it, and sleeping without him, we met up and talked about it and decided to give it another shot and not put so much loaded emotion on it. So, as at now, we are back together.

    @Akoria and Minnie: I totally know what you mean by how wrong it is to go back and that is what i didn’t want to do–go back for the sex–so I made sure we could talk about it all clear-headed and with no hormones clouding the situation. In the end what made me want to try to work it out is that I know he loves me, probably more than anyone ever has and he has filled so many chasms in my life and my heart i am not sure if i would function fully or fairly without him. Sooooo, shrug, we’ll see. But luckily since it wasn’t fucking that brought us back together I didn’t have to worry about fucking my way back in or fucking my way out. When we finally started having sex again I think we were pretty much on the same emotional page.

    @ Kweku: Thanks for the nuanced perspective, chale. The thing with your ex is a typical example of what i meant about the lack of equity in fucking an ex. She was evidently trying to fuck her way back into your heart so you could forgive her. You were evidently just fucking her out of your system because what she had done had left scars so deep you could never trust her again. This is what I was scared of, lol. In Ekuba and her ex ex’s case it seemed like she was fucking her way back in and so was he so it ended up being equitable but they also talked first and I think the discussion and his confession that he still loved her is probably what got them back together. If the sex had been the only thing that got them back together I don’t think it would have worked out quite as well. Ekuba, correct me if i’m wrong or missing anything…

  • Hello lovely people, you are all so right! Adjeley, i know right! I was moaning too much about him on this site, i started to fear that Nana Darkoa would kick me out :),Kweku, wise words indeed, of course, man, woman and a relationship cannot live on sex alone; African Mami: 3 winks back at ya, VV: so glad you got back together with him and hope it works out this time. Yep, you’re totally right about equity in fucking an ex, makeup sex which is done when both parties are not on the same page is just sad, in my ex’s case he wanted us to get back too but pride was keeping both of us apart so that’s why sex cemented the bond. Kisses to you all

  • Hehehehehe,I kept chuckling to myself thruout this reading(sorry VV but it really interesting the escapades u guys done before).the police station one got me laughing hard,the highway tryst(sounds like moi),the period one &yes thinking about doing the fever one,it must be hot as hell!ooh bloody.
    I have done rebound sex with the same person,doesn’t work all the time.

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