‘How I met my ex-husband’ by Guest Contributor Amma Konadu

Illustration: daniel_oito_eros

Let me not romanticize it. It wasn’t in some mall or social event or all those nice places. I looked tired and drawn,  and felt like shit the night he walked in, stood over my bed, smiled and said,

“Hi, my name is (okay name withheld), and I’m going to be your nurse for the night. Let me know if you need anything or have any complaints.”

But that is not important. What matters is I noticed him. And as sick as I was, probably dying and in need of a last confession, I felt warm inside. Inside my stomach, don’t think too far down. Yes! He was too cute to be true, and for a moment I wondered if I had started seeing the light. You know, maybe all along that light at the end of that tunnel is subjective to every dying individual. Well, it wasn’t “the light”. It was a mortal man, and God have mercy, he was fine! I attempted a smile but it only ended in me wincing because I had the grandparents of all headaches and my face felt tight.

“Sorry my dear, you’re going to be fine soon, don’t worry”

Why, this voice can do things to me! I thought, and well I wasn’t too surprised I was thinking that. It was a far subtler version of what would have popped in my head first, had it been a perfectly normal night.

So after that first impression, my night nurse had found his way into my thoughts and was playing games with me. Sure, they were games I was willing to play but definitely not in my head. There was a bigger play ground outside of my dreams.

I laid there for close to an hour, fantasizing, till he walked in again, with a steel tray upon which my IV drugs for the night were displayed.

“Sorry to disturb you,”

He said and smiled.

“No problem,”

I whispered. But in my head,— What took you so long?!—

He pulled my bedside stool closer, sat down and took my right hand in his.

“This is going to hurt a little bit,”

He soothed and started pushing the liquid through the line fastened to the back of my palm. I winced again and he proceeded to rub his thumb over my wrist over and over again, while saying “Sorry, sorry, sorry” in that completely sinful voice. I was ready to pass out.

My eyes closed voluntarily and I let my mind go. The rubbing motion was doing all sorts of things to me and I had to restrain myself from moaning.

“Are you asleep?”

He asked. I hadn’t noticed he was done. He smiled again and asked if I was ok.


“Oh, sweetheart you’re going to be fine.”

“Can you sit by me for a while?”

“Sure, why not?”

And so he discarded the used syringes, cotton wool and gloves and sat next to me; my night nurse. We talked. About mundane stuff, then about private stuff and then I actually smiled without wincing.

“You have a beautiful smile.”

I died a little and smiled again.

“Thank you. Can you please help me get out of bed? I’m tired of lying down”

He helped me sit up, placed his hand gently on my back and helped me to my feet. I was standing, directly in front of him, a few inches away from his face, and I started to feel dizzy. It was the temptation. It was just too strong. I clutched my head and sighed.

“Maybe you should lie back down. You are not ready for this.”

I really wanted to kiss him but in-between the headache and the overwhelming temptation I knew I just had to lie back down.

And thus the rest of the night passed, uneventful. The dream though was…okay let’s leave that for another day.


Now let me not mince words or beat around the bush. By dawn, when I woke up, the pain meds had left me painless and much stronger but I was so terribly turned on by the sight of my night nurse still seated, though asleep, by my side. I sat up in bed and coughed slightly. He woke up and smiled.

“I would like to take my bath but I’d need some help.”

“Okay, I’ll go get one of the ladies to come help you.”

I was initially disappointed in him but I was determined to make the morning go my way.

“No. That’s ok. I just need you to help me to the bathroom that’s all.”

So he did. But this time when his hand fell onto my waist I couldn’t keep back the moan. He looked at me and smiled. God! I whispered.

We took slow steps to the bathroom and he lowered me gently onto the edge of the tub and turned to leave.

“Please don’t go.”

I whispered again, and he stopped. By then I had slipped one hand out of my night dress and I knew one breast was almost totally exposed. He cleared his throat and I could see his Adam’s apple move up then down and for the love of me, I moaned again. This time the look in his eyes changed. He stepped closer and placed his hand on my bare shoulder. I kept my eyes on his face, making sure he saw clearly how much I wanted him. I slipped the other hand out of my dress and it fell down to my waist. He sucked in his breath and let out a very weak “No”.

I took his hand and cupped it over my left breast and started to work it in gentle circles. He stepped even closer and pulled me up.

Our lips met hesitantly at first, then we both slowly melted into each other’s faces and my feet were not mine beneath me!! My night nurse was not just cute, he not only had a voice that killed, but his hands on my breasts and his lips against mine were electric and I was panting by the time he let go.

“I shouldn’t be doing this.”

His lips said, but his eyes were fixed on my belly button. I walked over to the door and locked it. It was still very early any noise could be heard from a distance away, and his job was on the line but the combination of all that, had the insides of my thigh throbbing and I just wanted my clothes off. I turned and with my back to the door, pushed down on my dress, and it fell down to my feet. I could see he was too aroused to keep it hidden and it gave me much pleasure that he reacted so fast to my naked body. He walked up to me, hiked my right leg up over the back of his waist and placed his hand over my mouth.


I nodded.

He slipped his free hand down to my crotch and began that same rubbing motion he did on my wrist the night before. It was death twice and over and to keep from screaming I bit into his palm and he slipped his fingers in my very ready warmth. I peeled his hand of my mouth,

“Fuck me!”

Then a wicked grin passed over his face and I shuddered with excitement

“Not yet”

He said and bit gently into my neck. I grabbed him and dug my fingers in his back.


I could feel his erection push through his slacks and I pushed my hips against him, trying hard to let him know I wanted him bad.

“You’re beautiful”

He said through a groan and sucked on my breast. I thought I was going to convulse!

He stepped back and with my hands tremble along with my whole body, I helped him out of his green shirt and matching trousers. The sight of him gave me another orgasm almost instantly. I pulled him towards me, and he held me up, his hands firmly placed on my butt and as if he couldn’t hold back any longer, slid his full firm length in me with a grunt. My back arched and I bit down on my lip as he buried his face in my chest. Every second afterwards was rhythmic glory and my pulse raced together with our muffled moans. We climaxed together, sweaty and content. Oh and in my case, I felt healed as well.

But one thing we both forgot…


So yeah, you probably have guessed right. That was how I got pregnant and as to why we thought marriage was the solution still makes me want to slap myself hard. How he became my ex-husband though is a story I must tell later. But to give a clue…it involved another female patient. For now I have to go pick my son up from school so till we meet again…


The End


9 comments On ‘How I met my ex-husband’ by Guest Contributor Amma Konadu

  • So this happens to all of us erhn. When I went to have my first baby the Registrar who was asking me to push was so good looking that I actually cried I did not want him to deliver my baby and see my punani all battered and bruised. I swear.

    When I think about it now, phew. What was I on or even thinking. His bedside manner, his hands were soft, dimples and white teeth. Jehovah, I was so full of lust I knew that I did not want him looking at my punani for any reason.

    Na beg o! For a full hour, there I was arguing that he was “too good looking” to be looking at my ynash. Oh deliver me, the things we do.

  • A couple of things:
    1) DAG
    3) Heh! Hot, sickly sex
    4) Oh chale. You guys didn’t get a happily ever after 🙁

    • @madam butterfly I was in the hospital for close to 8 days, feeling terrible and this nurse walks in all hot! then my creative mind cooked up this story. lol I was sad i met him in the state I was in.

      @Malaka too bad, no happily ever after.

      @Nnenna hahaha… thanks dear.

      @Kojo!! you have to share these memories with me in chambers oo.

      @kayla “Night Nurse” eh? yeah!

  • Kai! I envy you and Madam Butterfly. When I’m sick (or pregnant) I feel like shit

  • You write like a dream; your technique is Intimate and I really like it. Also you are someone who thinks as evidenced by: ‘t. You know, maybe all along that light at the end of that tunnel is subjective to every dying individual.’

    Man, I couldn’t help thinking of vomiting on him but maybe it’s because I’m poorly today.


  • Hmmmm, such candid fervor! That magical passion called lust is the sweetest . You know how much you shouldn’t be doing it, the more you no you say, the more yes you do.Some memories…. Sshhh

  • Hot unexpected encounters are always the best. You started with a story….i loved it. All that suspense and ‘what not ‘ lol. 😉

    @madambutterfly you were horny and in labour at the same time? God damn Sister I’m pregnant and i hope it’s horniness i feel when it’s time to push. Sadly my obgyn isn’t as attractive lol

  • I can almost hear Gregory Isaacs! And it’s refreshing that it’s a male nurse, not the usual (fetish) female one.

  • Amma: exactly! Only he can quench that there thirst (wink).

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