People nowadays seem to be getting all in a tizzy about the increasing number of people getting divorced. Well I think divorce is a good thing. If a marriage is no longer working why stay in it for the sake of staying married?
In my latest Op Ed for This is Africa I share my thoughts on why divorce ain’t such a bad thing, and why I think more people should be getting divorced.
Weigh in over on TIA.
12 comments On Why more people need to get divorced
Baby got back! Sashay on madam.
-Right reason to get married? As far as I’m concerned, because I (emphasis on that IIIII) want to, not because of societal or cultural dictates.
At the end of the day, the same society that pressures you to get married, will not be around to resolve your wahalas. So in that light, if you feel like walking away, who am I to stop you.
Your life, your terms, your happiness-sometimes. DO YOU boo boo, DO YOU!
On the aside: Some folks are going to blame this ‘progressiveness’ on feminism (ya’ll need to learn your history-Divorce has been part and parcel of our culture, quiet as it is kept). I reject and bind those tongues in Jesus name, Amen.
@ND the fact that you are divorced and happy does not mean that you should encourage people to divorce their spouses. Every relationship will have problems and couples should work at it before considering divorce. In fact divorce should the last option otherwise no one should bother to spend energy and resources to get married. You just hook up with anyone when you feel like and then move on to new conquests.
@ Kweku: To be fair, she’s not ‘encouraging’ any person to get divorced. She’s simply saying that if it’s not working out for you & you want to get out, don’t let society & what people will say hold you back. Personally I agree with her. During the short time that I spent at the legal aid agency I worked at, I met several women who were emotionally & physically scarred because they stayed in a marriage that they knew was over/dead. I met one woman who got an STD (HIV) from her cheating husband that she obviously knew was cheating but her mom didnt want her to divorce ‘cos he was rich. & it’s not always even in the kids’ favor that a fighting couple stay together cos I met several children with their self esteem in the gutter because dad & mom were yelling at each other every night or dad was constantly sneaking off to spend time with his mistress & mom was tolerating it ‘for the sake of the kids’. One little guy i met simply turned mute for 1 month (at the time I saw him) after his daddy bought a gun, put in his room & told his mom that he’d kill her with it if she dared enter that room again. So I agree with Nana D. PS: you’re supposed to comment at TIA!!!
I LOVE YOU @Ekuba #That’sAll
Lol Nana D. I love you too (Now let me go & pray that neither Malaka or Nnenna Marcia see this comment else they’ll kill me. Hahaha!)
Ah, I have already seen you now! I was going to say, ‘Pot. Kettle’. LOL
Oh Ekuba you too why? Why should I kill you? Let me tell you something: the day my parents got divorced was THE HAPPIEST day of my life. They were miserable together and made the rest of us miserable. If you want happy kids, the best thing you can do is get some healthy happiness yourself!
@Ekuba I didn’t know you have now become the spokesperson for ND lol! With the examples you gave they will be justified to seek a divorce for their own safety or sanity. But I felt the article glorifies divorce and I felt we shouldn’t do so. Will comment on TIA as well
@ Kweku: Well now you know 🙂 To each his own opinion then. I don’t think the article glorifies divorce & as I always say if you can be ‘encouraged’ to end a relationship then you probably shouldnt be in it in the 1st place. Cheers!
I walked out of mine 7 months ago after less than 3 years in marital hell and I havent looked back since. I come from a typical ghanaian family where divorce is highly prevalent but where it is still sorta taboo. i dont care nor have i ever cared what people think about me. i do me! i will NOT sit in a marriage that is going nowhere in the name of ‘just being married’. Too bad i have ruffled a few feathers. Our families need to get over it and allow us a little happiness.
I just walked out of my almost 3 yr old marriage 7 months ago and i havent looked back since. yes! it has been tough trying to move on with my life but God still gives me strength to get through each day. it was the best decision i had evr taken and i dont regret it at all. about to go through formal divorce and just looking to end it quickly so i can get on with my life. i totally agree with you Nana Darkoa. we come from families that would rather see you die in a horrible marriage rather than happy alone. smh. too bad for them cos we do we! not all issues in every marriage can be resolved and couples must never stay together for the sake of their kids. i know this cos my parents stayed together forever when they had no business doing that. as a result i had a horrible childhood seeing my parents fight all the time.there was no way i was gonna do that to my kid. i knew when to walk away.
Dear Nana, I read your article on divorce in full. Interesting read, though am concerned for your safety if this gets published in print media, please use a pseudo name next time or else women and religious leaders will lynch you.
†he issues are same in Nigeria and most traditional societies. Marriage is ideally not a terminable institution.I am 33, single, never married before or have an ungoing relationship (but am truely ???happy). I believe in divorce and will let any partner understand that before we proceed. Life doesn’t give you a second chance at living, so why waste your only chance at living in a miserable relationship?