So over the weekend, my girlfriends and I had a girl talk. We talked about fashion, food, careers, and the opposite sex, dating and money.
I noticed that my friends and I have a thing in common, we can’t ask the men we date for financial support when we need it.
We are between the ages of 22 to 29. Some are jobless, some are students and some have jobs with a not so good salary.
We have the aura/tag of miss independent and actually like to see ourselves as such. But truth be told, it’s not easy! So far, we are able to get by righteously. The pressure is usually more when we start dating, because we feel the need to be noticeably chic at all times, to smell extra sweet and have our weaves and braids on point (affordably) as well as fund our pet projects/ambitions. Our men who are usually financially comfortable, treat us to gifts, and luxurious outings but don’t offer cash gifts.
So I’m asking; how do we ask and still have our pride intact? How do we ask and not come off as gold diggers?
Photo credit: quotesgram
4 comments On Miss Independent wants money from her man
You can’t hold on to your pride. It’s the same way when you ask anyone for help, you check your pride at the door and ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and nothing is stopping you for asking for help but your pride in being independent.
Thanks for your comment
This sounds a little harsh but unless there is a genuine need for money, women can live pretty decently if they live within their means. If I want something and I can’t get it immediately I hold it off or sacrifice something else for it.
For some reason I feel like the information given is incomplete. Little Miss Independent? You can’t be independent if you don’t work and/or go to school. If you have “boyfriends” that can afford to give you gifts and luxurious outings, but can’t see your struggles then something is clearly not clear. Maybe if you have a more transparent relationship, he would see that you can benefit from getting the money vs dinning or what ever great things he is spending on you. However, you can’t pretend to be something that you are not and expect him to understand your reality. The truth doesn’t have to be told, that hardships are real in Africa. If he really has a true heart for you, he will see and feel your pain without having to be told.