‘Sex be adventure: mic check one two one two’ by guest contributor VV

Okay, Adventurers, the year is almost over. Here is something I think you should do. It might take a while so you don’t have to do it all at once. Take a break, eat some kenkey, rub one out, go to church, come back to it whenever you feel you want to, even if it is in a day or a month. You might not want to answer some of the questions, you might have forgotten the answers to some, or you might just think the whole thing is yawa. I no vex. Answer the questions you want to. No long ting. No judgment. Whatever your answers are is cool. Sometimes some gyi na hor gyi with someone you will never see again is exactly what Kwame Nkrumah would salute you for from his grave. Not coming isn’t a referendum on your worth so don’t think you need yes’s to that question for you to get ten over ten. Maybe you just didn’t feel like talking chaw about what you wanted to someone so you just did whatever you had to do. No yawa. Don’t use this to measure your fuckarightability. Or to measure whether you were empowered enough in your chopping life and whether Maya Angelou would be proud of you. Like I said, no long tings. At the end of it I just want you to be thinking about whether sex is fulfilling its goal, whatever that is, for you. And maybe you’re not interested in a goal, just a corner kick. Das cool too. If you’re like me and you don’t have any answers for 2016 cos there was a Sahara or Sahel in your dross, use the questions for whatever time period you want to. On to the questions:


  1. How many sex tings did you do this year? (count it however you want, but be honest. If for you kissing saf dey inside add it to the list but don’t leave some encounters out cos it was just the tip)
  2. How often did you enjoy yourself during the ting?
  3. How often did you feel satisfied after the ting?
  4. Wetin made you come? Na you do dem or the other person?
  5. How many times were you comfortable asking for tings or sharing info about your fantasies, hotspots etc.?
  6. How many times did the people listen and fill the order? Wey people?
  7. Did any yawa pai during any of your sexy tings in 2016? Who were you doing the ting with?
  8. How often did you just lose focus during the sex? What happened and with who? Wey tings made you interested in participating and wey tings made you suddenly notice that there was some dust on the bedside drawer?
  9. What was your preferred STD prevention or birth control? How many times did you use them during the sexy tings? Were there times you asked for a condom, or pulling out or whatever and the person did you yawa? Who was that focking person?
  10. How often did you feel someway about your body? What made you feel like that? When did you feel the most someway? When did you feel the least someway? Did the person you were with do something that made you self-conscious? What was it?
  11. How often did you feel cool and happy? Relaxed kwraa? When were those times? Who were they with? What was happening?
  12. How often did the sex tings leave you feeling better than you were feeling earlier? How often did the sex tings leave you feeling worse? Do you feel like the ting gave you what you wanted?


You don’t need to share the answers with anyone. Just tell yourself the truth. Then do with that information whatever the hell you want to. Sex be adventure. No yawa. No judgment. So, adventure on. And on.

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