There are things I want you to do to me, but I cannot say them. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that my life is hard. I cannot be in charge all the time. Out there, I am tough and in control. And I know this is what you love about me. But when we are alone, behind closed doors… what I want when I’m horny, what I crave more than sex itself is for you to bind me, gag me, and make me your little whore. I want to please you and be rewarded… I want to earn every orgasm. And when I displease you, I want to be punished… I deserve to be whipped and choked. You can push your hard cock down my throat till I cry from exhaustion. Then cuff me to the bed and fuck my ass. Make me ride you till I fall off. This is my ecstasy… this is my desire. To be fed to your sexual fires until I’m spent.
And when I’m spent, I want you to nurse me. And buy me stuffed animals and diamonds. Eat me out then take me out to eat. And whenever I want to… I want us to do this again. In all the different ways you can sublimely torture. I dream of coming from work and finding a stranger at the door. One who will lead me to our playroom where you’ll be waiting with a blindfold. In my fantasy, you spread me out on a table and you slowly thrust into me as he kisses me all over. All night long the three of us do many hot, sensual, dirty things. And in the morning, I wake up in your arms. And he’s gone. I see you’re asleep, so I feel around for your cock under the sheets and stroke it till it hardens. Then I’ll slowly sheath you in the warm folds of my pussy… Maybe you’d wake up pleased, so you’ll pin me down and give it to me like you know I want it… slow, deep thrusts from behind as you whisper sweet nonsense in my ear while you steadily tighten your hold on my throat. Maybe you will not be pleased at all. Maybe you’d be so displeased, you’d leave me bound to the bed before settling down to your coffee with the morning paper.
I am sitting in my office. So wet from writing this letter. I half wish you’d storm in, bend me over the desk and fuck me with this very pen.
This piece was submitted as part of the Adventures Live 2020’s Poetry & Fiction Exhibition under The theme Odyssey of Desire.