Imagining A Life Free Of The Compulsory

Photo by Andy Mkosi

My free of the compulsory looks like
Dropping everything (kinda) to organise a pride party,
because ess muss sein
Claiming my time to enjoy the party
Saying my piece and saying it like it matters
Choosing brave

Free of the compulsory feels like
Looking up just in time to see all the rainbows
And losing our shit because,
3 rainbows in one day, wow!
What a blessed day 

Free of the compulsory dictates
Yielding to my body, my divinity
My one true authority
(the voice within)
(the Beyonce way…
“explaining myself is too much work, 
please judge me”)

Free of the compulsory means
Everything else is possible
We can choose different paths
Create new outcomes
Destroy the nuclear family
(the children are all of our responsibility)
Without compulsory obligations to other humans, 
we would drift towards the people who are meant for us much faster.

Free of the compulsory creates
Radically open spaces where
You can put words to your shadows,
your worst, most scary parts
And receive unconditional love
(it’s scary to give love freely,
but it’s the most low-admin/ drama-free/
unproblematic way of connecting with
lovers & friends)

Free of the compulsory frees me
To trust that the Universe watches out for me
Aligns with my intentions & my desires
If I go forth and love freely, grounded in my truth,
Ugliness will reveal itself,
Love protects me & shines a light

Free of the compulsory is
Casually saving money for a partial
hysterectomy because i don’t want to own a uterus anymore
Pressing pause on fucking men until this deed is done
Fuck contraceptives
(& fuck men with their rapey, stealthy & other shitty bullshit ways)
I am officially in a state of emergency
I don’t want to own a uterus anymore

Free of the compulsory is saying that out loud
(for the millionth time)
And someone in the group saying “I don’t have a uterus!”
It is real folks!
It is possible!
We are free
(the work continues… but)
I smell free
If you smell it too, follow that path,
Pay attention, don’t lose the scent

Free of the compulsory is 
Making art with the process
Art that will force a reaction out of everyone
(watch the room, scan their faces,
see who’s mask falls off,
see who understands the assignment,
see where you lie on the spectrum)

Free of the compulsory definitely means 
Free of capitalism
Free of this darned monthly rent & bills cycle
Free from needing to constantly think about
“how to make money”
Can’t I just spend my time fucking, on shrooms, 
writing, throwing pride parties, witching, 
staring at the ocean…

Free from compulsory capitalism?
I’d take pride month off every year
(except to throw a pride party)
I’d take my birthday month off, every year 
(the most worthy holiday to celebrate) 

Free from all the compulsories surrounding
love, sex & relationships
Compulsories like-
“long distance doesn’t work”
“you don’t call me everyday so you don’t love me”
“i’m monogamous but I cheat”
“you can’t kiss anyone else when i’m in the room”

It is my firm belief that straight people 
(in this instance also known as the patriarchy) 
are jealous of queer people who end up 
loving and finding joy anyway. 
When you see that love and get a 
glimpse of that joy, you can’t help but be jealous. 

You know what’s a worthy goal?
Freedom from the compulsory.

Free or die.


(Read next: Almost Lovers)

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