Dear Adventurerers (and Lurkers):
Adventuresfrom.com was created to provide a safe space for African women on the continent and in the Diaspora to share, learn and advocate for our right to pleasurable sex, agency over our bodies and the pursuit of passion and happiness. At times this pursuit is best achieved whilst a woman is single. Sometimes you can find that in the confines of your marriage… and sometimes you don’t. It’s a fact of life and a risk you take in marriage, knowing that your partner could cheat.
Married men across Africa cheat all of the time and with such brazenness that the average African male has now convinced themselves that it is a right, and that his wife should expect that at some point, he will cheat. Yet when a woman finds herself unsatisfied in her relationship and seeks fulfillment elsewhere, hell actually opens up and breaks loose. You don’t need me to tell you how reactions to a wife cheating on a husband differ from the other way round. No one comes to beg a husband for the wife cheating on him to take her back. The male ego will not abide it.
This is no doubt why a Ghanaian Member of Parliament, Nelson Abudu Baani, proffered stoning women as punishment for adultery on the floor of parliament last week. Nana Darkoa wrote an excellent piece on his sexist comments and why they are a danger to Ghana’s progression in this article on This is Africa that I highly recommend reading. We have also started a petition to ask the Speaker of Parliament to address the issue, to force Nelson Baani to submit a public and unqualified apology and take whatever action is necessary to punish him for his un-parliamentary behavior and utterances. We need your help in bringing more attention to this issue by singing your name on this petition and asking your friends and colleagues to do the same!
As is to be expected, there is no shortage of folks who are confusing the issues. Stoning anyone – male or female – is an abuse of human rights. There are some people who believe that those of us who have condemned Baani statements are doing so because we are advocating for the ‘right to commit adultery’. (Seriously!) Adultery is wrong and is often devastating for the person who has been cheated on. Some couples never recover and those who do learn to trust again may never do so completely. But as immoral as adultery may be, it is a sin – not a crime – and it is not the government of Ghana’s job to legislate or prosecute sins. It is certainly not for a progressive government to advocate for the horrific and barbaric act of stoning or hanging anybody if we are truly serious about moving Africa forward. For a parliamentarian to be so completely confused about this issue is disconcerting, and it is even more unsettling that his colleagues in parliament have been silent on the issue for this long and are only speaking up because of public pressure.
So far, Nelson Baani has only apologized for being “misunderstood”, and still yet to render a proper expression of remorse for his behavior and comments. We must press him until he does. There have also been calls for him to resign his position, which would be the preferred outcome. Such a man is not fit for the halls of parliament.
Will you stand with us? Will you help make Nelson Baani accountable for his words? We have already amassed over 500 signatures. The goal is to reach 1000 by then end of the week. If you and I ask 5-10 of our friends to sign, we can wrap this up quickly. For updates and to contribute to the discussion, follow #DownWithBaani on twitter.
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Signed!