There are so many posts I want to write and I don’t know which one to focus on next so I am taking votes through your comments:
1. Shall I write on sex during your period – in this post I want to explore the notion of taboo and sex whilst menstruating.
2. Good Girls don’t have sex if they want to get married or have a relationship – in a recent conversation with some of my girls many of them said they had decided not to have sex for some time. As one of them said and I paraphrase “why would you want to pay for the cow when you already have it for free”.
3.Sex and the new media – I have no idea how this will pan out but I am very interested in new/social media and I am wondering whether this is having any impact on relationships and sex.
4.I will be visiting a sex shop when I travel (to the US) next week. So wanted to write a post on what else there is beyond vibrators (or at least the Rabbit). I seem to be obsessed with Mr V and surely there is a wider world of sex toys out there.
Is there anything else you would like me to write on?
Nana Darkoa
10 comments On What shall I blog on next?
Nana, I pick #2. Explore the theory of re-virginisation i.e. gaining some pretension to virginity by abstaining from sex for a long time! I swear I’ve heard girls swear by it!
I vote for sex during your period (been there, kinda messy and my bf and I now have a standing joke about having to “wash the bed”).
I also vote for sex toy varieties (being the recommender of the screaming o which I can’t stop waxing lyrical about). Are there sex shops in Ghana?
A friend just told me about this blog and I fell in love immediately. I love your curious, intelligent, up front approach. Where have you been all my blog-life? 🙂
I vote for No2. Why? Because it’s The African Womans’ Conundrum and I think it would make for interesting reading if you blogged about it. I totally get some of the reasons why some women may want to abtsain/remain celibate and I respect those reasons. It just puzzles me as to why no sex = good and having sex automatcally = bad. Not having sex has little to do with being a ‘good girl’ – what does that really mean? – and does not guarantee in anyway that you’ll get married. Just like having sex does not mean you won’t make a damn good wife one day…
Who gets to decide who’s good and who’s not; and why is sex the deciding factor? How does that explain abstainers with selfish, dark hearts and indulgers with rigorously high moral codes?
Also, re paying for the cow you already have for free… According to the parents of a certain friend of mine, it is advisable to try before you buy. They don’t want to hear that just because their daughter is being ‘good’ she ends up pledging the rest of her life to someone with whom she has no sexual chemistry whatsoever, or worse…someone who ‘fires blanks’.
Really curious to see what you think…
You’re visiting a sex shop when u travel? There’s one right here in Ghana! On the spintex road. it’s called pleasures:) You shd check that out and maybe compare offerings with what you find when u travel.
Abt what to blog on next, i vote for 2. I’m a good girl:)
About the having sex during your period conundrum, it’s easy, place a (or a number of) towel(s) on the bed, lie on the towel and you will generally be fine doing it without messing up your sheets. Towels tend to be reasonably absorbent, so your juices wont seep into the sheets. Then again who cares about a few bloodstained sheets if you can have that wonderful O. Furthermore, a purely delicious advantage of sex during your menses, is you don’t have to worry about lubrication and that makes it all the more sweeter! I really don’t think there should be any issues with it. I’m curious to find out what you and others think. Would be interesting to hear about the abstinence thing too. Apart from psychological “re-virginisation”, like Nana Yaw mentioned, there is actual physical re-virginisation where people get a surgical procedure to sew back their hymens… What a world we live in!
A sex shop in Ghana? No kidding! Just before I read your comment Esi, I swore to myself,there’s no way that there’ll be a sex shop in gh, which is why Nana has to come to America to do her sex toy shopping. I’m totally blown away by this. I’ve been away for far too long!
Write about #2!!!
( I don’t know why people who believe in abstinence think that they are exempt from everything else that constitutes ‘goodness’). Took me the longest time to figure that out that abstinence doesn’t equal good girl(but then again, in Ghana, that is what we are taught).
(OR) you could also write about the double standard that exists – girls must abstain, but boys no! (what a load of tosh!)
(PS I am the anon who first asked you to write about abstinence, lol.
ok ok,
i wonder what the difference is between the process of ‘devirginising’ a virgin (not ‘second-hand virgin’!) and sex during menses. is there a difference? don’t they all make the blood flow??? i’m love Anon’s towels!
and i’m sure your answer won’t satisfy me cos i’d love to find out for myself. lol.
my vote is still yet to be ‘devirginised’!
@All…thank you for your comments and vote in this entirely democratic process. I am sure you can all add up for yourself and have figured out that No 2. is the WINNER.
@Anon 1 – Yes, I have heard that there are TWO sex shops in Ghana which I haven’t been to yet.
@Emz – Thank you, thank you, thank you.
@Esi – I had heard there was two sex shops in GH. One on Spintex and the other in Osu but have never gone there. I’m trying to analyse why I will prefer to go to a sex shop abroad but that is probably a whole other post!
@Anon 2 – I might just have to do the whole sex on your period post some other time. Thanks for the tip!
I think everyone else’s comment will be answered in the post 🙂
ND
I for one am in no mood to have sex during my period – what with the cramps and nausea and all. However, apart from the mess (and the fact that cunnilingus would be a no-no – unless you’re REALLY freaky) I see no problems with it. Also isn’t pregnancy almost impossible under those circumstances? (Yay for condom-less sex! Don’t y’all agree that it feels so much better?) Just be damn sure neither of you has HIV 🙂
Speaking of cunnilingus, how do people feel about rimming (anilingus)? Anyone tried it?
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