On Sunday, 8th January I popped into my local Shell Shop to buy some plantain chips, and saw that the latest edition of BBC Focus on Africa magazine was out. I had been recently featured in the October edition of the magazine so felt inclined to browse through the magazine and decide whether it was worth buying.
I stopped short on page 54, the ‘Inbox’ section of the magazine. There was a screen shot of the page that had featured myself, and my co-blogger Abena Gyekye with the ‘Star view’ letter entitled ‘Misguided advice’. I read the letter and was instantly enraged, so I bought the magazine and went on a tweeting spree to vent…let me reproduce the letter here so you can judge for yourself.
“Your article on sex blogging in the last issue highlights the fact that it is good for African women to talk openly about sex, and most of all to not see it as taboo. But who says African women have not been talking about sex? What do you think they discuss when they meet up? I think Africa has more problems to tackle than focusing its energy on sexual issues. Your articles should rather focus on helping African women revive the core values of training a child well, according to the moral values of the land. I believe that is one of the pressing needs of African women.”
Wow. Where do I even start? The second half of the letter completely incensed me. “Africa has more problems to tackle than focusing its energy on sexual issues.” I presume some of the issues that are of concern to Africa include issues of health, maternal mortality, HIV & AIDS, and education. Can he ( ‘cos I seriously doubt that Ugochukwu is a woman but who knows) not see how all these issues are linked to sex? How about the politics of sex? If Africa has more important problems to tackle than why our African governments trying to legislate what goes on in the bedrooms of consensual adults, and why are African social justice activists fighting the unholy alliances between fundamentalist religions, and conservative (often corrupt) leaders who stoke the flames of homophobia.
“Your articles should rather focus on helping African women revive the core values of training a child well, according to the moral values of the land”. Really? Now you want the BBC to tell us African women how to raise our children well? And this must be done “according to the moral values of the land”? Hmmm. Let me not even try to imagine what moral values you are referring to here.
Part of what sticks in my gall the most is that this letter was judged the ‘Star view’. By my reading that implies the letter is great, worthy of being focused on, and gives me the impression that the editor/editorial team agreed with the letter. But surely I must be wrong? I tweeted @nickericsson, the Editor of BBC Focus on Africa magazine to ask what the criteria was for designating a letter as a ‘Star view’, and his response was “…the mag team decides on a letter that is original and looks like it will generate interesting discussion, pls send a response” Well I most certainly will. Oh and did I add that the ‘Star view’ gets a ‘small prize’? Argh, that really sticks in my throat. So here’s my letter to the editor. I want to be able to include comments from readers of ‘Adventures’ to the letter so please include whatever comment you would like to be directed to the Editor and his team.
Dear Editor,
I was disappointed in your choice of the Star view letter for the January-March 2012 edition of BBC Focus on Africa magazine. I alongside my co-blogger Abena Gyekye were featured in Boswell’s article which looked at African women using online spaces as a forum to discuss issues of sex and sexuality. The respondent featured in the Star view section was of the view that “Africa has more problems to tackle than focusing its energy on sexual issues”. That line of thinking is in my opinion myopic. Sexual issues are integral to our day to day lives…it affects the upbringing of children, our health systems, the wellbeing of our populations, education, people’s human rights, the workplace – in fact I can barely think of an area of our lives that is not touched by sexual issues. As you well know, I manage the blog, ‘Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women’. Please find below some comments from my readers on the Star view letter under discussion:
[A selection of reader comments will be inserted here]
Yours Sincerely,
Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
15 comments On Response to ‘BBC Focus on Africa’ magazine
It’s quite shocking that an opinion like that would be chosen for a Star view letter. Since when did we prioritize our problems?! To disregard the discussion of sexual issues is basically disregarding certain values that are important for women in the community, thus marginalizing them even more.
In 2012, such backward thinking is unacceptable. I guess BBC should scrap the sports section in the magazine too. After all, “issues of health, maternal mortality, HIV & AIDS, and education” are far more important than the upcoming 2012 Africa Cup of Nations, right….?
I find it the letter very interesting. The writer wants Africa to concentrate on educating women on the core values of training a child. i sincerly beg to differ on this suggestion from the writer and even to think it is a star letter
One of Africas main problems is how the youth decides to have sex and “scatter ” children all over the Africa, this has resulted in poverty, poor education and iinadequate infrastrature. Lets take my country Ghana for example where the youth particuarly women are not educated about sex and therefore ends up with children all over, its easy to find them sleeping on the streets and shops.
AIDS, one very serious problem in Africa is widely spread through sex, when people do not discuss issues, they end up being ignorant and take wrong decisions.
What should BBC trains women about? how to each their children to run away from men and use mental padlocks to lock themselves, lets be practical, these men would never go away and would never stop chasing women, i do not encourage sex before marriage(as choices differ) i believe we should educate our children on sex education and would grow up to be information loaded “African women”
Yes! Africa has “plenty” issues which are equally important and each one must be covered including sex education
It does not escape me that BBC Africa chose this letter for its Star View for the obvious reason that it would create chatter, discord and reinforce stereotypes.
One could easily infer that the author of the letter is a male Nigerian, between the ages of 45-55, in some line of mundane work… say a photocopier. His education is limited, but he possesses enough to string together a few sentences to at least sound semi-intelligent. This is the “typical African” voice. Adventures is far to radical a concept, and the editors clearly had to give a platform to a view that the world is far more comfortable with: that is that the African woman is a beast of burden whose sole purpose in having sex is to bear and raise children.
What utter nonsense. I don’t fault the BBC. It was a brilliant move. It’s got us talking, hasn’t it? Fortunately, their attempts to throw African women under the bus have failed. We’re not even at the same station!
Sexuality in Africa – in fact, all over the world – is an issue that affects individual and collective identities. It informs the way we treat members of the other sex, as well as members of our own sex. It moulds the way we behave in our relationships (whether platonic or not) and it highlights a society’s respect (or lack thereof) for all the members that make up that society. A soceiety that does not respect its members is a society that will not be a very happy or safe community.
To say that “Africa has more problems to tackle than focusing its energy on sexual issues,” is marginalising the efforts made to enourage happy, functioning and safe environments across the continent. Let’s not be confused, this is not an ‘African’ problem, its a global one and trivialising it by publishing views like that is an act that must be condemned.
The violence, abuse and politics surrounding sexuality is not something that can be broken down to a simple “African women should revive the core values of training a child”. How infuriorating! How insulting! Why is talk about sexuality immediately referenced to women. Why are women portrayed as the be all and end all of sexuality? I have been to Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women and trust me, the discussions on that platform does not exclude male sexuality or the issues that affect men in their question for a sense of self.
In this world where we are all unrelentlessly bombarded with highly-charged sexual images and references, where communities refuse to educate our youth about practicing safe sex and intolorance is prevalent, I am surprised that the BBC’s Focus on Africa would publish a letter because it would ’cause an interesting debate’.
I am disappointed in BBC’s Focus on Africa Magazine’s Editor and editorial team for thinking that letter was ‘original’. I read the article that featured Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women and it was clear the article was to highlight what was being done on the continent to address the same kind of thinking your editorial team has defined as ‘original’ and worthy of a prize. Making that letter the star letter and rewarding the person who expressed those views does not what uphold the corporate values and ethics of the BBC and, to be frank, I am shocked that it made it to press.
This is a mistake and I sincerely hope that your editorial team will take the steps necessary to rectify it.
Abena could not have expressed my sentiments any better. The patriarchal society is trying to hard to fight the revolution that Adventures is unconsciously starting.
Well… First off when was there a criteria for the issues that could or could not be discussed in Africa?? Africa has issues but judging by todays headlines we are certainly not the only ones. A large part of Africa’s problem as a continent is the fact that the character of Africans and their real day-to-day situations are CONSTANTLY taking the back burner to its ‘issues’. I resent the fact that the star letter is implying that African women need or want advise from the BBC as to how to raise our children as African women are outstanding mothers and always have been. It’s time Mr Ugochukwu took a good look around him and got to grips with the times, no one has the right to dictate to an African woman, or any other woman for that matter, what she may or may not discuss this is the 21st century and we will not be dictated to.
Where do babies come from? Obviously not from sexual encounters as per the Star View letter. The storks must be busy on the African continent.
Need we be reminded of the danger in focusing on a single African narrative? (See Chimamanda Adichie’s brilliant piece – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg)
Sex happens, yes – even in poverty-stricken, living below $2 per day countries. And with that, comes sexual issues that need to be discussed.
As myopic as the letter is, it has gotten our attention. I suppose even African sex sells? You are welcome BBC.
I don’t think the person who wrote that letter knows what they are talking about. I wonder what gives this person the right to conclude that African women are already talking about sex and so we should be talking about something else, something ‘more important’. If anything as a Nigerian woman, we seem to talk more about children than the process that leads to children in the first place.
It is my humble opinion that African women need spaces like this. I can’t explain in words how excited, relieved and just glad one of my Nigerian female friends was when I directed them to this blog. We are not talking enough about sex, after all there are still young Nigerian men and women who pretend to be ‘pure virgins’ in front of their significant others or older people.
I recently became sexually active after a very long dry spell and I noticed the only people readily available to talk about sex with me were my male friends. And I had a few questions to ask due to my relative inexperience such as, why did the condom keep rolling off him?! I had to actively search to find a female friend that I could talk to about my sexual experiences, because on different fronts I was met with other young women calling me a ‘bad girl’ or just closing their ears to my anecdotes. On the other hand, my male ‘friends’ were actively cheering me, encouraging me to have more sex but at the same time a few of them started being assholes towards me (by feeling no qualms asking me for sex).
I cannot say how frustrating this was to me. And really the point of me sharing this is to give my own personal reasons as to why a blog like this is much needed. Here I can follow all manners of discussions and not be slut-shamed. Most importantly on this blog female African opinions are being aired freely and as far as I’m concerned there will never be enough African women talking about sex!
I actually think the letter was a good choice. Not for its content and intent (obviously) but because it gives enlightened people like Nana, Abena and others the opportunity to combat (maybe “challenge” is a better word) this kind of mindset. To me, when people put their unenlightened opinions out there, its just another opportunity one can take to educate the masses. There are tons of Africans with this mentality and surprisingly not just our men either. But the mentality can never change if no one is willing to put it forth and then have it be challenged.
I hope that made sense. I’m running off of 3 hrs sleep and almost 10 hours of work lol
To assume that the only opportune time that women (and very specifically African women) can and should be talking about sex is in the context of child rearing is not only spurious but is indeed quite offensive. I am offended because the author of this “Star Letter” does the greatest disservice to all of us African women by reducing us simply to baby making machines. Clearly, this author must be of the mind set that his own very existence had nothing to with the possibility of his mother giving and receiving pleasure. I am sorry to have to enlighten you my dear friend but we African women do enjoy sex. We talk abut sex. We read about sex. Sex is, for many of us an integral aspect of our individual and collective identities. It has to do with the way we relate to each other. It is evident in our music, in the way we dance, even in the food we eat (don’t tell me you have never discussed sexual prowess and the powers of kola nut with your own friends!) And so I am sorry Mr. Star Letter I beg oh – please don’t speak for any collective African voice when it comes to sex and sexual expression because clearly you are on your own. In fact I urge you to go and have some more sex so you have something interesting to go and talk about with your friends tonight.
@Jason – Thanks so much for this comment. I really appreciate the support, especially as it was the first comment. Wasn’t so sure what you meant by “Since when did we prioritize our problems?!” though?
@Jay – I’m with you on addressing our multiple issues simultaneously. I also think people should make their individual choices about when to have sex – as long as they are above the age of consent, and they are making a free and enlightened choice.
@Abena – Ouch! BFFFL you don’t hold back do you? Part of what I love about you though…you were a bit mean about the letter writer though 🙂
@Crystal – Preach sister!!!! Yes, I do hope the editorial team reconsiders what is designated as the Star letter
@Naa – This revolution right here – on Adventures – is very conscious though 🙂
@Omotoke – I love this line, “this is the 21st century and we will not be dictated to”. Amen…or Awomen 🙂
@Ms Martei and Soraya Speakers – Two of my fav tweeps 🙂 Lol at even African sex sells. Hilarious, and so true
@ ecentricyoruba – Thank you for sharing your personal experience of why there is a need for this site. I’m so grateful. You may have all (most of) your answers now, but if you do have any questions email me and we’ll have a group session on the blog
@LadyNgo – Lol. True. In terms of getting a reaction, the letter has been very successful. Hope you’ve managed to catch up on some sleep now
@sheroxlox – You know! The sheer cheek. Sigh.
Well the BBC got it all wrong..Star L. I have listened to a documentary on BBC that talked about the direct relation between birth control, the demand for energy of various forms and it’s relevance to Global Warming. Population growth has everything to do with procreation and sex. Enough has been said about HIV and all that but it’s time we stop treating sex as a taboo and discuss it’s decency in Africa and BBC of all organizations should be leading these views.
Is Ugochukwu blind to men assaulting women for denying them of sex and the many stories about women being battered and assaulted for this same reason all over our newspapers? We now that if women have better control of their sexual lives they can become more productive, independent and a better African society. If the objective is to get our attention then that was successful…content? I’m not sure sweeping this under the carpet and bringing the supposedly “important’ issues to the fore makes sense or does justice to our African Women.
I’m just speechless. That letter is so typical. In fact, I think it’s from a woman who is quite repressed. Really, a lot of things are important, true. But through our poverty, our malaise, our issues with leaders who betray us, our general lack of continental confidence, our joys, our pains, our “fill-in-the-problem, we keep having sex. Period. We are human beings and through whatever, we will keep having sex. The writer needs to relax and enjoy some and let the rest of us talk our hearts out about it. When we are done, after the 2hrs of frolicking, we will get back to Africa’s problems.
Dear BBC,
Your articles should rather focus on helping African women revive the core values of training a child well, according to the moral values of the land. I believe that is one of the pressing needs of African women.”
Give us a damn break Ugochukwu! Who are you to police us on what issues are most relevant, or deserve more shine than others. I am more incensed than the bloggers who wrote the articles themselves on your outdated and gender regressive suggestions. First and foremost, why are you relegating the duties of child training to the African woman?! Let me break it down to you mister, (this letter could not have been written by a woman, as far as I am concerned-if you do happen to be a woman, SHAME ON YOU!).
A child is conceived (this entails in engaging in sexual acts-the very act that you do not want blogging energies expanded on) by two people-with the help of a sperm and egg! What that means is that: child training responsibilities are split in half between those two who conceived, or the partners (could be two men who are going to parent together, could be two women who are going to parent together-I will not be surprised if you read my response and called it blasphemous and inflammatory!)
If you are going to as much as write on behalf of African women, please do due diligence research on that matter. I would even go as far as advising you, to interact with African women and actually ask us, what our pressing needs are! As far as we are concerned, “child training”-whatever that means-is NOT part of our needs! If anything, refer to my aforementioned remarks. Let me help you out, and tell you what some of our pressing needs are:
1.) Gender equity/inequality issues
2.) Education
3.) Empowerment (This includes SEXUAL EMPOWERMENT!)
The list is long, and does not include your ridiculous child training need!
Sex is a fundamental and core part of our daily lives as African women-and humanity as a whole. You were able to inbox BBC Focus on Africa because your parents sexed and conceived you! In hindsight, sex is very important and I hate when we as Africans like to pretend as if it has no bearing in our very existence. The very reason sex is a taboo topic in Africa, is why we are dying of HIV/AIDS! To propagate this notion further, African women are the most disproportionately affected by the disease! Why then shouldn’t we talk about sex and sexuality?!
Instead of telling the bloggers what they should address in their forum-take a cue and start your OWN forum in which you can address those “pressing concerns” you have for our African women.
Otherwise, let them be. Sex is a beautiful thing and it’s just like any other topic that needs to be addressed! Moreover they are addressing it to a grown audience, not kids!
Whoosah,
African Mami,
-An African girl that HATES outdated gender regressive/culture primitive talk.
U go African Mami, tell them…to think that people still carry such views in the 21st century..no wonder African is still refered to as the dark continent. With people like Ugochukwu why won’t we be called ‘backward’….