Reader query? I can’t go down on my fiancee…

I received the email below from Yaw a few days ago:

Hi, I need help or sound advice. A lady introduced me to licking when i wanted
to have sex with her as the key to the vagina. Seriously, i enjoyed it but she
was the only person i had this experience with. Years down the line we broke up
and i met another lady, when we got home and we were about to have sex i had a
change of mind immediately because of the bad odour that emanated from her
vagina and wouldn’t leave my room for hours. After this experience anytime i
think of licking i feel like throwing up. My fiancee told me she enjoyed licking
and i want to satisfy her sexually but my past still has a bearing on me. The
last time i tried to i nearly threw up on her. What do i do?

Hmm na waa o was the thought that crossed my mind when I first saw this email. I confess I also laughed. I don’t know why. Somehow I was amused by this email. I think it was the thought of ‘licking’ as the ‘key to the vagina’. Its definitely the key to MY vagina but I digress…

Yaw, thanks for sending this email and agreeing that I can share your query on ‘Adventures’. I have some questions. You said you didn’t leave your room for hours when the odour of this woman’s vagina hit you…what I was unsure about was, ‘Did you go down on her or not?’. In any case the damage has already been done and what you want to know is how to change this situation which is a hard one. It seems to me that the woman you had the bad experience with either has some health issues (most women’s vaginas do not smell…at least not to the point that traumatises others ) or she just didn’t wash very well. I am assuming your fiancee’s vagina does not smell?

What to do? What to do? What to do? As important as oral sex is to me personally I don’t believe in forcing someone to do something he is not comfortable with. Have you found out what else your fiancee likes? Is there anything else you can do in bed that will please her? Have you tried experimenting with sex toys? Lube? If its got to be about the oral how about trying a dam (its kind of like a condom for the tongue but you can also use clingfilm). But this issue is a serious one o because I am putting myself in your fiancee’s shoes and if my soon to be hubby couldn’t go down on me because of a bad prior experience it will definitely be an issue.

Adventurers, what’s your advice to Yaw?




25 comments On Reader query? I can’t go down on my fiancee…

  • Dear Yaw,

    I understand you are traumatised, but fear not. Not all caves emanate a rotten fish smell. If that were the case, I think there would be an environmental act put in place to protect the world and it’s populace.

    My suggestion is lick it like a lollipop, but if it tastes like fish, eh, have a talk with your lady. Tell her sweerie potatoe you rock my world but chale, I think there is a fish swimming in your waters and we need it removed, in order for me to survive.

    You might be surprised as to what communication can lead to. It may not necessarily be about hygiene, probably it’s just her diet….or a health issue that needs to be addressed.

  • Hello Nana,
    I meant the odour (pungent if you want to call it) did not leave the room for hours not moi lol.
    My fiancee is clean and smells good. The one thing she enjoyed is the licking that her ex introduced her to as a first timer you know? She likes her breast to be touched but what triggers and gets her there is going down on her. I know my problem is my past experience.

  • ooooohhhh,this is the first time i am viewing the blog on a computer since the new phase/face and i am looovvviiinngg it!i always view it on my phone so wasnt appreciating what the ‘fuss’ was about.
    Well done guys,this is really cool.

  • Ebenezer Mr Scrooge

    Jack, if your favorite meal’s prepared such that, not only does it taste awful, it leaves you with a terrible bout of TheRuns, does that mean you’d swear off it??? Me guess not… Massa, shun d3n things… Get down to business (pun fully intended), come back up and tell us sontin… Oh and “licking” just sounds… Nana, abeg, get MetroTV to release the tapes of your interview with KSM, or else….. (Please add the Or Else, when you make the request)..

  • Yaw, as a guy, l can understand and do appreciate your concerns since licking (PUSSY EATING)is an integral part of my love making. It’s a very delicate situation and so how you treat it can make or unmake your relationship. Also, am not sure how committed your relationship is but here are some tips to consider.
    1) You could look for some sweet scented bathing Salts for her to bath with. Thus there must be a shower before each session and no quickies what so ever. Getting her to understand how these sweet scents are a turn-on for you is essential so she’s willing to do them every time.
    2) There also scented oral sex products (flavoured edibles)which you could also use so good luck.

  • AM and Ebenezer Scrooge,…u just killed me with laughter after this post sent me into a coma! :).
    Yaw, you could try taking a shower togeda with your woman before you get down. Whilst youre at it, gently wash her down there yourself so you can be convinced youre doing a ”clean job”. I’m sure it will help put your mind at ease. Before eating your freshly prepared pie, you can try drizzling on some delicious syrup or edible lube…i love durex’s pina colada and it feels good on my pie too…its a win-win, i’m willing to bet!

    • Thanx Naa, Where do i get these syrups and lubes? Hasn’t it go any side effects? You guys make it sound so easy. I feel i need an expect to take me there first cos reading all that i guess i wasn’t as naughty as i tot lol.

  • If it was me, I would just sit on Yaw’s face and make him deal with it. End of discussion.

  • oh Malaka! You’re such a bully! I can just picture Yaw bursting into sobs once he’s pinned down with his head stuck there….but seriously this whole post makes me wonder, has anyone here encountered a willy in their mouth that left them traumatized?

    • Hahaha… The first time my cousin went down on a guy would qualify. I was in her house watching TV in her room. She went out to meet the guy she was dating, who was a friend of mine, and as usually happened in Ghana back then, he came by in his father’s car and parked at the junction. One thing led to another and soon they were making out in the car. Somehow he managed to convince her to go down and I will never forget the traumatized expression on her face when she came back into the room. I didn’t know what had happened, I just saw her walk back into the house, slink into the bedroom and sit in the corner with her head in her hands. I asked her what had happened and she said with the most dramatic look in her eyes “He said I should lick it and I wanted to so I did, but then halfway through he just grabbed my head and moved it up and down until he came. VV, he fucked my face!” We still laugh about it till this day cos she is such a tough and nonchalant person and she was really freaked out that day but I think the experience fucked her up. She loves sex but hates bj’s.

      • VV,

        Ola mami! Find me in the mortuary. Your comment has deaded me. I know the question posed is serious, but the comment section is a hot damn mess.

  • Yaw, the lube is sold in most pharmacy shops and marts that sell condoms. You can get the syrup from grocery stores…they are all edible and i dont know of any side effects apart from a slight addiction to the taste(you might not want to stop slurping up the mixture of pussy juice+ syrup/lube cos its quite delicious) ;p

  • How can a guy be sure that what ever his tongue is licking is STD free? Cos some ladies will want you to go down on them on their first encounter. How many guys checked their ladies out before going down on them and is there any safe way to approach licking? I guess and talking too much but the easiest way to study is in a forum like this so pls tolerate me wai.

    • @Yaw – Same thing applies to heterosexual women right? How can they be sure that the guy they are going down on is STD free. In an ideal world everyone should get tested for all types of STDs before they start a sexual relationship with someone new…and even whilst they are in a relationship because people cheat, an existing STD could take a while to show up etc…of course the safer way is for guys to go down on women using dams, and for women to give blowjobs with condoms but I doubt that happens often enough

    • Very valid point, Yaw. YOU have to be comfortable for you to go down on her, and of course vice versa. Don’t feel pressured to do it. Just because she wants it, does not mean you have to relent. Your health (and the environmental act) comes first, at all times, and vice versa. The most sure way I know is for each party to get tested-otherwise, you’ll never really know, and will probably always be in doubt. In any case, even if her enclave looks ‘clean’ or your hammer does not have any pimpos, is not to say you are 100% healthy. So before then, maybe you can take Nana’s advice of dental dams….

    • Yaw — “How can a guy be sure…?” I agree with Nana and AM get tested for the various STIs and HIV/AIDS but I would add, get tested TOGETHER regularly. No ifs, buts or maybes and ‘consistently and correctly’ (I’m spewing propaganda here) use prophylactics such as condoms and dental dams – that way you can be sure – not 100% (never 100%) but to a fairly high degree.

      “Is there a safe way to approach licking?” get tested, use prophylactics and communicate – ya’ know talk about it with your partner.

      I think this applies to all regardless of sexual orientation.

      Yaw, I would also add that I believe sex always carries some level of risk – whether it is a disease, pregnancy or adverse reaction – it’s incumbent upon you and your partner to make it a calculated risk.

  • If it smells so bad it could mean a lot of things. Here are a few pointers that you could both together/doctor work out: poor hygiene (probably hard to be honest about it if this is the reason), vaginal infection/fungus e.g. Chlamydia or something else (smear test if possible), poor eating habits (indirect cause; also a reason for strong body odor in general) or perhaps a combination of factors. Also passing highly concentrated urine (ironically people in hot climates tend to drink little and chronic mild dehydration appears common) all the time could be a minor factor.

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