Ages ago I received the email below in my Adventures inbox:
Nana, I just wanna give u a very GRAND big-ups for all that u doing & also
put my problem before u.
Nana my problem is I have a very high attraction for older women, I always get a
hard on when I see an older woman in her 30s to 40s with some part of her body
naked. Am always thinking about having sex with them.
Secondly, I seem to LOVE SEX too much to the extend that I sometimes have sex
with prostitutes(ashawo) just to satisfy myself. Please what can I do. Advice me
The (I presume) young man who sent me this email agreed that I could respond to his email publicly via this blog so here goes:
Thanks for bigging me up. Always appreciated. I’m curious, how old are you exactly? Nowadays 30s to 40s doesn’t seem that old to me, but that’s me speaking from the vantage point of being 35. Are you above the age of consent? Are you sexually attracted only to significantly older women or do you sometimes feel attracted to women your own age? Thinking frequently about having sex with an older woman on its own doesn’t seem to me to be a major problem unless its impacting on your life in some other way. Do these fantasies of older women stop you from living your life fully? Are you still able to work, study etc?
The pseudo psychologist in me thinks this is a clear case of Oedipus complex, but hasn’t many of Freud’s theories been rubbished?
Hmmm sex with sex workers (which is what I prefer to call ashawos). The biggest challenge here is that sex with sex workers is more high risk because they tend to have a larger number of sexual partners, and as we all know (or should know) there is no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. In an ideal world, I would say that ensure the sex workers you sleep with can show you recent results for STD tests, and that you get tested frequently yourself but I recognise that is me living in sexual la la land. In reality I would advice that you find a regular partner (can be a woman/girl your own age or older), both get tested before starting a sexual relationship, and jazz up your sex life with role play, sex toys, and whatever fun consensual ideas come to you both.
Adventurers what’s your advice to Kojo.
Nana D x