Niggas Just Ain’t It

Yes, I would know. See It’s Raining Babes. Actually, just read my entire back catalog for full context.

Niggas just ain’t it-

EXHIBIT A: SUNSET

Sunset blew me away
Literally blew air into my pussy, 
And overall blew me away with his fuck game
Did we fuck or did we fuck?
The way he kissed me, 
made me want his dick immediately
And dick did I get

You know when you haven’t had dick in your vagina for a while
Your vagina can remember the feeling and is madly craving it
And then you get the dick?
Bro.

Sunset blew me away
Sat me on his face
Ate all of my pussy with his full, soft lips
Lips that melt you into kisses 
Kisses that awaken your bodies

laughs

Tales of lovers and friends
Win some lose some
Sunset was a lover who could have been
Lover & friend
But fails to see past
The fear of catching feelings
Where authentic human connection lies

Fear of catching feelings is a construct of the patriarchy
Fuck the patriarchy 

Oh Sunset
Lips so sweet
Dick so bomb
Chemistry so good

Until we were video chatting
And I sensed a fuck boy-ism aura

Had to take a step back at that point
Because no dick is that bomb
Lovers and friends is dope
But si must
So what could have been endless poetry about 
mad endless sex that blew my mind and body
I’m here with a warning

The fear of catching feelings is a construct of the patriarchy
Fuck the patriarchy

And fuck Sunset
Again. Maybe

Let me tell you about Tangawizi though
My fine AF Caribbean piece of chocolate-
I called him up the other day
He was in his art studio 
He set up his phone so I could sit back and watch him work
Shirtless

I lit a blunt and lay on my couch
Watched, 
interrupting every now and then to tell him how beautiful he is
You should see him blush
I helped him pick an outfit
Yummm… 

This beautiful, beautiful man
When he smiles at me, I melt inside
Tangawizi of Someplace beautiful
The most beautiful human in the world

Tales of lovers and friends
Win some lose some
Tangawizi is my proof of concept
That we can be Lovers and friends
That catching feelings is a natural human condition
That the fear of catching feelings is a construct of the patriarchy

Fuck the patriarchy
Love me some Tangawizi

EXHIBIT B: CRUSHBAE

The bubble did burst
I’m just way too polite to tell you straight up
Now, I see everything

Outside the bubble
It’s impossible to dissociate
I feel everything 
And I resent you

I fucking resent you
“Our resident good guy”
That’s what my resentful self calls you

Your goodness does nothing for me
You are just like the rest.
Shocked?
Please. 
Cry me a river.

That time you kissed her
Then you kissed me
You were being one of them
You were being men

That entitlement
That assumption of consent
And the audacity to follow that up with 
“I want to have a threesome”

It doesn’t matter how any of us responded in the moment
It doesn’t matter what any of us said about it afterwards
All our walls went up 
And we braced ourselves for some bullshit

Hold up, braced ourselves for some more bullshit
Because already,
What the fuck?!

You know what rape culture is?
Entering my personal space without consent
Just because you’ve been sitting there working up the nerve to knock on my door for the last x hours-
Doesn’t mean I have time to accommodate you and your declarations
In the exact moment when you feel ready

Rape culture is you not calling first
Or texting
Rape culture is you not thinking to ask
“May I come in?”
“Do you have a few minutes?”

Yes, I let you in
Yes, I was irritated as fuck
Yes, I still expressed kindness and friendship to you
It’s the conditioning, I’m unlearning

If i was being true to me
If i honored my justified feminist rage in that moment
I’d have sent you back the second you knocked on my door.

No, you don’t understand how I feel 
No, you don’t understand the rage
No, you can’t go around saying “it’s killing time”
No, you can’t just say solidarity things

Is it killing time?
Bro, you’re on the list

Solidarity?
Actions speak louder
And still
Nothing you ever do will be enough
to make up for the violence you and your kind unleash upon 
me and my kind (consciously and unconsciously)

Solidarity?
Actions speak louder
No, you don’t deserve applause for any of it

The bubble burst
I resent you
I resent the oblivion that you live in at my expense
I resent that I showed you any love and care at all

What do I get back?
What does your not-raping, not-beating, not-killing good guy self do for me?
Nothing.

EXHIBIT C: LOGISTICS

Two words: Yeast Infection

One more word: Yuck!

(I was excited about him. 
He owned a boat. 
I was supposed to be out in the open sea,
fucking under the full moon, 
for at least 3 or 6 moons, 
Sigh.
Men can never let us have anything good)

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