Weak For The Dick

Illustration by Markus Prime

Part One: “Billy’s Hella Fuckable”

Like when Lady MC said,
“This chair looks hella empty,
Needs something to sit on it”
That’s what i’d say about Billy’s face

Afrobeat yoga? I mean,
Did my ancestors point you directly
to my pussy or what?
I knew those bitches loved me

Fuckability is a constant
Like gravity
First principles type shit
Ain’t no ring or relationship
that rubs this aura off

Two things I know to be true:
(1.) sharing is caring
(2.) a person is only unavailable when they’re dead

Billy’s hella fuckable
Aren’t we all grateful to be blessed with
such authentic divine-ness?
I know that I’m blessed.

Eye candy is not just some 
pop culture phrase
Eye candy is… Billy

Billy’s hella fuckable…
What a fucking work of art!

Tutapatana mbele!

Part Two: This Man’s Cute Had Me In A Chokehold

They have become the object of my fantasies
The theme to my self pleasure sessions

I see them saying yes to my proposition
My face would light up in delight
and they would smile, almost blush
Because my face, all alive in lustful delight
is dazzling to see

I see us kissing and kissing
our way into the house,
out of our clothes
into the shower

I’m pinned to the wall,
their body is all up on me
I wrap my right leg around them
just above their booty

My left foot stays on the ground,
on the tippiest of toes (but not for long)

That raw shower dick,
With me suspended in the air.
(cue Nicki Minaj “i am not fly, i am levitation”)
Back against the wall,
Those looooong, slooow strokes
Their body all up on me
…get out of my head, friend
& come into my bed


As we are wiping down after the shower
We start making out
And our bodies snap together like 
magnets attracting
They turn me around and bend me
over the sink
Their fingers  find my sweet, wet, pussy

Picture the most elegant dance you’ve ever seen
Now replace the dancers with Cutie’s fingers
And the dance floor with my vulva
And the music is the sound of our lust
Expressed through breathing, moaning,



Part Three: Heavily Straight Energy

Also big dick energy
Highly fuckable
Highly like-
Their fuckability is a fact,
A first principle,
like gravity,

Heavily straight like-
The straights would say,
“he’s a man’s man”
I can hear the cis-het babes go,
“now that’s a real man”

(I know, my eyes rolled all the way back too)

Also, life of the party

Ati, Glam King
That’s their alter ego,
It’s who’s behind the closet door
It’s what all this heavily straight energy 
is masking

This all started with a conversation where our heavily straight brother was lamenting about not being beautiful enough to be hit on by the gays.

My response was-
“You have heavily straight energy”

Keeping up appearances for your bros
(but really chill and open minded in private)
(fuck that shit BTW)

Heavily straight like-
All the babes want you
But they feel spurned in some way
Maybe you didn’t call them back
Or didn’t notice them how they want to be noticed
Or _insert cis-straight girl struggles_
So they get mad
Brand you “community dick”
They think it’s an insult
But us out and proud hoes know better

Community dick?
Count me the fuck in!
Slide me my membership card pronto

(ADVISORY: fuck off with your slutshaming.)

Heavily straight energy
Big dick energy
Absolutely my type
(but my type from the part of me I kinda resent,
the part that’s weak for the dick)

I encourage the coming out of
Glam King
Let nobody ever say about you again,
that “he’s a man’s man”
That’s that toxic shit some of us are
here to burn to the ground

Glam King 
Sounds like a cool dude
Who would be exactly 
Who the fuck they are
in public & in private

Glam King sounds…
Expressive on steroids
Even more fuckable than now
(appealing to the gays, lol!)
Still life of the party
& fun
& alladat

I want to see Glam King 
come out
That’s who I eventually want to 
take home with me

I’mma definitely hold out for
Glam King

Keep that big dick energy up!


(Read next: My Brand of Feminist Rage Reads, “Kill All Men”)

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