Switching (Part 1)

Photo by Cindy Leah

I entered the stall and leaned against the wall for a second. I did not need to use the bathroom. I just needed to get away from her gaze. I wasn’t scared of her, no. She did not frighten me. I frightened myself with how my body responded whenever she looked at me.

She looked at me like she could see me, into me. She looked at me like she could see my deepest darkest secrets and what I was thinking. It didn’t help matters that whenever I looked up from my desk, that brown-eyed gaze met mine. I wanted her. Badly. Yet there was something about her that made me want to give up all control and leave myself at her mercy.

I heard someone use the sink. I sighed and flushed the toilet, even though I did not use it. I stepped out and there she was, washing her hands. I murmured a greeting and skipped washing my hands. There was a bottle of sanitiser on my desk. I didn’t want to be around her longer than was necessary.

I turned the handle of the door to the ladies’ room to make my exit. Nothing happened. I tried again. The darned thing did not budge. I turned to her. She was wiping her hands. I wanted to ask her if she knew anything about this but the way she was looking at me kept my mouth shut. She walked towards me, her eyes never leaving mine. I moved back, unconsciously until my back met with the door. 

She stopped a hair’s breadth away from me. I gulped. She lifted her hand to my jaw and caressed it with the back of her palm.

“Why do you run from me?” her words were soft, barely audible. I could pretend not to understand what she meant but those eyes, damn those eyes. They made me want to bare my soul. I opened my mouth to deny her accusation but then I closed my eyes because her lips covered mine.

I froze immediately. She moved closer until we were chest to chest and thigh to thigh. My hands were hanging uselessly at my side and I balled them into fists as I tried to resist the desire shooting through me. I don’t know how she knew this but her hands were on my fists and she gently pried them open. She laced her fingers with mine and then I relaxed slowly.

She brought our joined hands up above my head and then kissed my chin, my jaw, my neck, my collarbone, and my shoulder. I turned my head to the side, eyes still closed. She nipped my earlobe and laved at my ear with her tongue. “Keep your hands up there.” 

She kissed my mouth again and this time, she wasn’t gentle. She was telling me that she was going to have me. She ravished my mouth, plundered it and I was helpless to resist. I kissed her back and I felt my knees grow weak. Her hands went to my waist and remained there. Then they climbed my body, slowly, steadily until one hand was around my neck and the other was cupping my head.

She kissed my throat, nuzzled my neck and asked me again, “Why do you run from me?”

She bit my neck and I moaned. Then, she was sucking on the spot. My knees grew weaker. I wanted to put my hands down, and steady myself with her shoulders but I somehow knew she wouldn’t like that.

“You can touch me.” She said the words as if she was in my thoughts. I lowered my hands onto her shoulders. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t.

“You shouldn’t run from me.” She kissed my mouth again and this time when she pulled back, I did not let her go. I held her head and kissed her, telling her how she made me feel when she looked at me. Without using words, I told her how her gaze made me wet, how just a casual look sent my way made me drip. I told her how my nipples tightened painfully whenever her body brushed mine in the hallway, and how my breathing changed when she walked past my desk.

She pulled away and looked into my eyes as if she was searching for something. I don’t know if she found what she was looking for. She stepped back, not quite so far. We were still in each other’s space.

“You taste like tea and uncertainty, with a hint of defiance. Heady, but not quite satisfying.”

I raised a brow. “I will have you, don’t doubt that for a second. And when I do, you’d taste of nothing but submission and pleasure. My name would be a litany on your lips and your body would beg for me, weeping and thrashing, pleading for release.” She looked straight into my eyes as she said the words, her hands on my hips, mine on her shoulders.

I opened my mouth to speak but she touched a finger to my lip. “Don’t run from me anymore. Next time, I won’t be this nice.”

And with that, she produced a key from her pants pocket. She unlocked the door. I stepped away so she could open it. She came back in, caressed my cheek gently and kissed my neck. Then, she was gone. I let out a long breath. She had wound me up pretty tight and I needed to unwind. As the thought flitted across my mind, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

“Don’t you dare touch yourself.” No preamble, no niceties. I didn’t have to look at the ID to know it was her. I sighed and straightened up. I walked to my seat and sat down and for the rest of the day, I refused to lift my head.


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