Ghana’s social media was abuzz all weekend with discussions about Itz Tiffany’s sex tape that was surreptitiously making the rounds in What’sapp and Facebook inboxes. Even I who never requested it, nor did I ask anything about it received a copy of the “career destroying” video purported released by Tiffany’s jilted ex-husband, Frank White.
As sex tapes go, this one was completely underwhelming, and I see no reason that it should destroy anyone’s career. (Unless that someone is Frank White, who should never be allowed near electronics ever again in life.)
For those who may be unfamiliar with Tiffany, she is a rapper on Fuse ODG’s label and is quite popular in Ghana. Prior to this weekend, I confess that I had never heard of her, and I am sad that these circumstances have been my introduction to a woman who is quite talented and trying to propel herself professionally and artistically.
I think it’s important that we discuss the events surrounding the sex tape, because there are significant lessons we can glean from it. Here on Adventures, we advocate for exciting and pleasurable sexual experiences for African women, because for so long the notion of the African woman’s version of making love has been to lie on her back, groan a bit, and wait for her man to cum. To that end, we’ve talked about incorporating tools and toys in the bedroom to add new dimensions to the act of making love. From condoms to cameras, we’ve advocated it all! But what do you do when your partner violates your trust and exposes the most intimate moments between you two for the entire WORLD (literally) to see?
First of all, let me say that Frank White ought to be ashamed of himself. This is a grown man with a 7 year old son, borne to him by no other than his wife. Tiffany is not his “baby momma” or some hood skank he just happened to impregnate during a jump off. This is a woman he made a vow to, and I’m sure somewhere in there there was some mention of “to love, honor and respect”. Obviously he violated those vows long before his release of the sex tape, because Tiffany initiated divorce because he was abusive and actively sought to stymie her career. As they say, you can’t pull a woman down if she’s already on the ground with you, which makes me question the timing the release of this tape which was made six years ago. Frank White must sense that Tiffany’s star is on the rise at this moment in time.
Secondly, if I were Frank White, I would absolutely deny being the man in the video. Never in a million years and for all the gari in Ghana would I admit to being the possessor of such a small dick. Seriously sisters, his cock was so small – even at full rigidity- that Tiffany was forced to manually guide it back in. Poor woman! And then like a good wife she played the part, moaning and gasping as if he was actually doing something with his pinkie penis. Some of us have been there before. *Raises hand*. The things we do to keep a man’s ego intact, eh? Shame on you Frank White. SHAAAAME!
This brings me to the point of this post: how can a man like have two “brains” and no sense? The answer is simple really, when you consider that his thinking capacity is probably on par with his penis performance, which is severely lacking. In a bid to destroy his ex-wife and the mother of his son’s career, Mr. White has conveniently ensured that he will destroy himself. In the United Kingdom, where Frank White resides, printing or posting nude or sexual images online of someone without their permission might soon carry a two-year jail term. There are strict laws against cyberbullying in the UK, and they carry very real consequences, including punitive damages to the victim and lock up for the perpetrator. Apparently, Frank White is comfortable with this, as it is reported that he just completed a 4 year jail sentence in the country of his residence!
I want to quickly state that I for one am 100% behind Tiffany as far as this event goes, and I hope more women will support her as well. We need to circle the wagons and protect each other in times like these. The use of our bodies in its most vulnerable state to elicit shame, to demoralize and degrade women collectively is an age old tactic, and it has gone high tech. Some of you may remember the #TwitterPurge from a few months back, during which men were invited (and encouraged) to release any nude pictures women/girls had sent in confidence and post them online. To my disgust, several people on my time line gleefully retweeted and shared those images as if they were Halloween candy.
Only women who have either 1)Never taken a compromising photo of themselves or 2)Had the fortune of the recipient of compromising photos possess the integrity not to release them will find fault in Tiffany and thousands of women who fall victim to this crime. I listened to her radio interview and felt heartbroken for her. You could tell she was quite shaken as she discussed the events. She talked about how making the video was supposed to be something “fun” between she and her husband, how she had just delivered his baby 8 months before, and why she had no reason not to get naked in front of the camera with her husband.
“He was my husband,” she said. “I wasn’t shy of him, and he wasn’t shy of me.”
She plans to sue him. Do it, Tiff!! Do. It!
I’ve stated my position, but I would love to hear what you all think. We know how prudish and judgmental Africans can be in situations like these, specifically when a woman’s naked body is involved. Should this tape usher the end to Tiffany’s career? Does she carry any fault here? How can women keep themselves safe when there’s a camera in the bedroom?
14 comments On The Sex Tape: Itz Tiffany’s Ex Has Two Brains and No Sense
I feel for Tiffany, knowing how judgemental Ghanaian society is eish. As for me, I have a ”trust no man” policy when it comes to nudes. Call me prudish, boring, whatever but I won’t put myself in a position to be embarrassed/betrayed by a man in this manner. Men ruined it for themselves tbh.
Being from a Latin culture and living in Ghana, I find that nudity and other personal behaviors are much more tolerable and acceptable. Therefore, I don’t see Ghanaians to be so radically judgemental or critical. I believe that any exposure of intimacy can be detrimental to someone’s life with more emphasis on the woman’s gender.
The brainless one is the woman. NO woman should lend herself to any evidentiary intimate practices. I don’t care if that’s her husband of 50 years. This foolishness is simply a suicidal decision. If he wants to relive the moment tell him to reenact it. Otherwise he can screw himself.
In regards to the husband hopefully he will get his, in this lifetime. Life has a really funny way of paying it back!
I died ten times when this whole incident exploded. What manner of man does this? The husband who should be protecting you? This is so bad. Her career is destroyed beyond redemption. Even more so because this is the second time she has had leaked nudes. This man’s horribly little insignificant crayon. Look, a man with a big dick will never fool like this. His face anddick are in the tapes too and he doesn’t care? That should tell you he who is down fears no fall. He is a consistent looser. I just hope she finds peace in the middle of all this because there are repercussions beyond the present embarassment.
I’m sorry *throws down the work I am meant to be doing* WHAT ON EARTH?
I don’t know the girl either, and a I write this, I have not yet researched or listened to her music but this is wrong, wrong, wrong. This is slut shaming, plain and simple, except it is more pathetic because the tape was made when she was married for chrissakes. To the man. For whom she had just borne a child!
I disagree with Leslie. How does it make one ‘brainless’ to trust one’s own husband?! Unless you’re not married and don’t know sha, but your husband SHOULD be the one person on earth that you trust implicitly. It is there, in the vows (the other things mentioned in the vows cannot exist without trust which is implied). In fact, the law recognises the sanctity of marriage, the nature of confessional in marriage which is why spouses CANNOT testify against each other in civilised nations (also the States). Nothing that a spouse says to another spouse while in the contract of marriage is admissible, I believe.
Forgetting the legal part of it, no man is an island. So you go through life alone and finally meet that person with whom you think you can be yourself and you still put walls up? Anyone who has had a child while in a marriage/relationship will tell you how quickly things sour/become routine. How as a woman, you just seem to have no damn energy, all that pregnancy horniness vanishes with the hormones and you’re just left a numb husk. Except it’s Ghana so, you know, she probably didn’t want her husband to stray…but let me not put reasons into her mouth.
For whatever reason she made the sex tape with her husband. End of story. It should not have been leaked and I think she should sue, I think she should sue to the full extent of the law because the man was in full possession of his faculties when he leaked it. He knows what Ghanaian society is like and his intent was to DAMAGE her reputation and her person.
I vote that she try to get full custody as well sef. A man who is so blinded to the damage this could cause his kid in future should not be trusted with said kid. Now his friends would see what his parents (plural) look like when they engage in sex acts. Who needs that?!
Well done Malaka. This is a fantastic piece. Count me on your team.
P.S: In fact, if this does go to trial the man will lose because if the rumours are true and he has in fact been to jail before, it will count towards his character. Nonsense man.
As an addendum: Even if she did not make the sex tape with her husband, there is no need to use sex to shame her. Any man that does this is a wanker because they are using the power of society, the fact that woman have been controlled with (a lack of)sex and sensuality to his advantage. Wanker to the nth degree.
I won’t insult his dick because I don’t believe size matters. At least not the size of his dick. His brain size however is a different story and I believe his is the size of a peanut.
It is a basic human condition to want to pair up. One should not be punished for what one does in the process of this pairing. Amen.
Amen! And you make an excellent point: If you can’t trust your husband implicitly, what is the point of being married in the first place? There are areas in which a woman should protect herself, sure. You must always keep your own money and have space to retreat to if needed, but I can’t fathom why a married woman should have to fear that her grown man husband and pull a small boy tactic like this. Are we in high school? Puh-leeze.
Also, Purple T mentioned that her career is damaged beyond all repair. I hardly think so, or at least I hope not. I think all fair minded and thinking Ghanaians will see this as a man doing his very best to use social taboos to destroy a woman because he could not control her to his satisfaction. I don’t think Fuse will drop her from his label, and I believe that intelligent artists will continue to work for her. I don’t believe she committed any crime here, other than trusting her spouse during her most vulnerable state. The woman was still breastfeeding his child for heaven’s sake!
A spouse doesn’t encompass the perfect meaning of trust. Vows don’t protect you from any future heart aches that you acquire along the way, for love is blind and marriage is an eye opener. You never give anyone more ammunition against you that they need. We live in a grimmy, grimy world and if you believe that someone else is going to love you more than yourself, I say you are brainless. The most unfortunate part of this is that she can’t go Hollywood and capitalize. I mean monetary compensation for unsolicited shame and suffering would be a good solace!
Ei, Leslie! LOL! You are hard ooo.
I see your point, although I still maintain that there should be room for trust in one’s marriage.
Malaka, we the women are the strongest gender, but we have become weakened because we have stopped using our brains vs our vaginas. Marriage is a covenant and most of us do it as a spiritual, cultural and social expectation. In the sacred book itself, it tells us not to trust no man. Mankind is too volatile for one to ignorantly trust. There are degrees of trust, but one must hold oneself in the highest regards. The greatest practice is to not trust the one you sleep with (your own flesh) and this is good book teachings. We all know how difficult it is to ignore our own concupiscences let alone control someone else’s. Protection, protection and protection from all angles is the #1 rule for all marriages.
The good book does say “the heart is deceitful, who can know it?” There is always the chance that your lover/spouse could betray you, but I still don’t think it’s healthy to put up walls in that manner for the duration of your marriage, unless those walls hide the two of you.
Otherwise, it’s better to isolate yourself and remain single and unattached. To marry is to risk, I think.
Everything in life has a risk factor thats why you have to reduce any lost by protecting those things that are of great value while still hoping that your returns would be positive. You dont have to built walls, but there should be boundaries. Btw… Single and unattached is not as bad as it sounds, I’ve learned it strengthens the heart muscle.
Eish Leslie, you are on some next level ish…Anyhoo I am going to ignore that thread of the conversation and move on to…
Tiffany’s husband is a douche bag of the lowest order. Even when you are not married to someone, it is entirely reasonable to expect that the acts between the two of you will stay private … unless one of the parties is a sex blogger *Ahem* and even then she has a responsibility to keep you anonymous, and you can also request that she never blogs about you.
Thanks for this post MASI. Guys like this need to be shamed for real
Ahiaa for slut shaming. It’s time for bloke shaming!
Blokes can be sluts too and this one is not just a slut. He is a special mumu slut.